Don't Want to Do This Anymore

[Lunacie]

Thanks Salleh. A scientist, hm ...

Yeah, her daddy isn't perfect, after all no one is. But he's better than a lot
of absent daddys, and way better than ones who have to stick their oar in
even when they don't know crap.

It was simpler when he was out on the road all the time, because my
daughter could get all the information she could and then make a decision.

Now that he's not out on the road all week, she's trying to include him
more. He's comfortable leaving major decisions up to her still, but it's one
more person to consider. But also one more person to provide feedback and
a different perspective.

Considering this is mainly an ADHD forum, I've certainly gotten some good
advice and support with Nove's issues here. Thanks everyone!

[Lunacie]

Arrghhhh! Again!

Yep, again. This time her mom heard her leave the house - a little after 4
am. So much for the Trazadone helping her (and us) sleep better.

Yep, I forgot to hang my car keys in my room. It's hard to break the habit
of hanging them on the hook behind the door as soon as I come into the
house. I worked really hard to develop that habit so I wouldn't lose them.
Now I have to break that habit and develop a new one.

Her mom asked her where she was going? She said she didn't know, she
was just bored and wanted to just drive around. I don't know if her mom
caught her before she put the key into the ignition, probably better go and
check to make sure we don't have to spend another $85 ...

[sarahsweets]

I know how people feel about locking a childs door and the fire hazard bit, but in this case I see it as a matter of safety of the child. They have these little hook and eye latches that can be placed at the top of a door that are easily lifted in an emergency. No one wants to do this, no one wants to think of this as a solution but I cant think of any other way around it. You cant restrain her in bed, she cant out manuvere the locks inside the house right? Maybe something on the outside while she is in would help. I am not trying to sound like a jack a** I am just trying to weigh the safety of Nov. vs the concern over fire or another emergency.

[salleh]

Except /....Sarah ......I think she sleeps in the same room as her mom .....I think....

[holmracing]

Lunacie... is she safe in the house if she gets up? I mean she can be left alone in the morning without worry inside the house right???

Honestly, If she were my kid i would concentrate on all the exit points of the house. Front Door, Back Door, ect... Get a manual lock out of her reach for each one... and install a very very loud alarm on each one in case the door does get opened. Then tell the kiddos they are not allowed to steal the batteries from it because it is for safety. And when i say loud.. i mean wake up the neighbors loud!!!! Make sure you do something on ALL the exit points... she may start looking for a new way out of the house if she can't get out the doors. So also install window alarms... You can get ones fairly cheap the just go off if the window is opened. They are magnetic and if the contact is broken they go off. And if she is sensitive to noise... she will learn very quickly to avoid doing things that set off the alarms.

My other idea... Make up some flyers with her information on it and hand it out to your neighbors... That way if she does manage to wander in the morning and they see her they can call you. And yes i mean go door to door and make sure they know that she has a tendancy to wander in the early morning. (check the sex offender data base first and look for any in your neighborhood first and skip those houses!!)

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I know how people feel about locking a childs door and the fire hazard bit, but in this case I see it as a matter of safety of the child. They have these little hook and eye latches that can be placed at the top of a door that are easily lifted in an emergency. No one wants to do this, no one wants to think of this as a solution but I cant think of any other way around it. You cant restrain her in bed, she cant out manuvere the locks inside the house right? Maybe something on the outside while she is in would help. I am not trying to sound like a jack a** I am just trying to weigh the safety of Nov. vs the concern over fire or another emergency.

Salleh is right. She and her mom sleep in the same room,

and mom feels like she needs to have the door open so the dog can go pee

on the tile floor instead of her carpet.

He has heart disease and takes water pills (and other pills).

Originally Posted by holmracing

Lunacie... is she safe in the house if she gets up? I mean she can be left alone in the morning without worry inside the house right???

Honestly, If she were my kid i would concentrate on all the exit points of the house. Front Door, Back Door, ect... Get a manual lock out of her reach for each one... and install a very very loud alarm on each one in case the door does get opened. Then tell the kiddos they are not allowed to steal the batteries from it because it is for safety. And when i say loud.. i mean wake up the neighbors loud!!!! Make sure you do something on ALL the exit points... she may start looking for a new way out of the house if she can't get out the doors. So also install window alarms... You can get ones fairly cheap the just go off if the window is opened. They are magnetic and if the contact is broken they go off. And if she is sensitive to noise... she will learn very quickly to avoid doing things that set off the alarms.

My other idea... Make up some flyers with her information on it and hand it out to your neighbors... That way if she does manage to wander in the morning and they see her they can call you. And yes i mean go door to door and make sure they know that she has a tendancy to wander in the early morning. (check the sex offender data base first and look for any in your neighborhood first and skip those houses!!)

She's fine inside the house. She does get into food when she's awake at night,

but I've never worried about what she'll do if I have to take a nap during the day.

Very unusual to be able to do that with an Autistic kid, eh?

But since I have fibromyalgia I'd fall asleep sitting in my chair if I didn't go lay down

and set the alarm for an hour.

She would have no problem climbing on a stool or chair to reach a manual lock

even at the very top of the door.

We'd have to get one with a key and then keep that key with the other house keys

(on a hook in my room or at the bottom of mom's purse).

I guess the loud alarm needs to go back on the front door.

That's a pita when we have to let the dog out really late at night or very early in the morning.

Guess we'll just have to deal with the hassle and the noise.

[Irishcoffee]

Lunacie you are so going to slap me, when I read the title of your thread I giggled, either my daughter or I utter the words " I can not do this anymore", but we do and I know you will too.

I read your post and I wanted to give you a hug.........so sending positive thoughts and hugs your way.

[Ms. Mango]

What about trying a different approach. Can she be redirected to a safe, and quiet, activity in the house if she wakes up in the middle of the night?

Let her know that it's not safe to leave the house at that time but, if she really can't fall back asleep, she can go to another room in the house and read, or whatever, as long as she doesn't disturb anyone else in the house.

Have some approved snacks in an area where she can get at them easily in your cupboards and fridge and let her know she can help herself to those items if she's hungry.

If she is occupied she may be less inclined to roam.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by Ms. Mango

What about trying a different approach. Can she be redirected to a safe, and quiet, activity in the house if she wakes up in the middle of the night?

Let her know that it's not safe to leave the house at that time but, if she really can't fall back asleep, she can go to another room in the house and read, or whatever, as long as she doesn't disturb anyone else in the house.

Have some approved snacks in an area where she can get at them easily in your cupboards and fridge and let her know she can help herself to those items if she's hungry.

If she is occupied she may be less inclined to roam.

Thanks.

She knows she can use my computer (in the dining room) if she can't sleep.

She knows where the snacks she is allowed to have are kept.

She still takes odd things to eat, like a block of cream cheese or a jar of alfredo sauce from the fridge.

She still gets bored as there is no one to play with her at 4 a.m.

We have told her repeatedly it's not safe to leave the house without telling us where she's going -

which is why the policeman brought her home one time.

Many kids with Autism are much worse about wandering off on their own.

Many kids with Autism will only eat a very limited menu.

Many parents of Autistic kids don't have a weekend break.

We don't have those problems - but it's still damn hard to raise an Autistic child.

It was hard just getting the diagnosis because even doctors think that only boys have Autism and ADHD.

[sarahsweets]

Lunacie...you need a spa day to get away and relax!

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Lunacie...you need a spa day to get away and relax!

A spa?

That would be torture for me with my sensory issues, especially the scented stuff.

And the need to be social.

But ... I had a lovely get-away Saturday night while Nove was at her daddy's.

I went to the Community Drum Circle. It was awesome!

We met at The Keeper of the Plains. http://www.kansastravel.org/07keeperoftheplains0.JPG

We had a beautiful view of the downtown lights,

and an even more beautiful breeze blowing across the river.

There were lots of people visiting the site while we were drumming.

Many stopped to listen. Some stopped to dance.

A few grabbed a free drum and joined in.

I'm really looking forward to the next Drum Circle.

PHP Code:

[IMG]http://www.kansastravel.org/07keeperoftheplains0.JPG[/IMG] 


More photos and information at the link above.

[peripatetic]

i'm so sorry lunacie. you know i don't have any kids or...i mean...i can't imagine how tough it is on your whole family...and how much it stresses you to deal with the repercussions...and pains you to see your granddaughter struggle...so...i have no suggestions, only compassion to offer...but i'm thinking of you.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by peripatetic

i'm so sorry lunacie. you know i don't have any kids or...i mean...i can't imagine how tough it is on your whole family...and how much it stresses you to deal with the repercussions...and pains you to see your granddaughter struggle...so...i have no suggestions, only compassion to offer...but i'm thinking of you.

Thanks. I do appreciate the thought.

[Luvmybully]

Ok, I did NOT read every single post and sorry if this has been mentioned, but what about an alarm for the exit doors? We have them, thought they are currently not on, that every time one of the doors leading outside is opened it makes a sound.

We can set the actual alarm to go off if a door is opened, but OMG it is so loud you think you are going to have a heart attack. The chime option is loud enough to hear anywhere in the house, needs a code to be disabled, and doesn't set off the actual security system that calls the police.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by Luvmybully

Ok, I did NOT read every single post and sorry if this has been mentioned, but what about an alarm for the exit doors? We have them, thought they are currently not on, that every time one of the doors leading outside is opened it makes a sound.

We can set the actual alarm to go off if a door is opened, but OMG it is so loud you think you are going to have a heart attack. The chime option is loud enough to hear anywhere in the house, needs a code to be disabled, and doesn't set off the actual security system that calls the police.

Thanks. Yes, we have one of those alarms for the door.

Her mom keeps forgetting to pick up new batteries for it.

Maybe lack of sleep is affecting her memory, eh?

Nove is sick (virus), this is the second day she's stayed home from camp.

When her sister finally wakes up I may go to the store and buy some batteries.

And some lettuce so we can have BLT's for dinner tonight.

YESS Camp is having a special evening tonight, dinner provided,

and awards and entertainment by the kids.

I was really looking forward to doing that, but I guess I'll be fixing dinner instead.