ADHD, retreating from social pressure, and self-soothing

[MentalNomad]

Recently, I've been backing away from any prospect of social pressure due to wanting no form of resulting frustration. For instance, there are certain topics I would like to bring up on internet forums (my only social outlet at the moment), but I instantly realize how arduous it would be for me to explain myself, and I just drop it altogether. To be honest, I didn't even want to create this thread, but decided to take the leap for some reason. Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone here has been through the same thing.

[CheekyMonkey]

I'm the queen of avoiding things that make me frustrated.


I avoid a lot of things.

[fracturedstory]

I'm so avoidant they named a disorder after me. A few years before I was born but...err.

Hey look!

*runs*

[silivrentoliel]

Yup! And what's odd is I normally don't back down from a chance to talk, debate, or argue (although honestly I'm getting a lot better about not seeking out conflict)... Even if I bring something up to DH, I often just shut the topic down if I realize it's going to turn into a massive mess... it annoys him, but sometimes I just can't get the words out, regardless of how hard I try.

[Drewbacca]

I impulsively start fights, then realize what is about to happen and run away from the issue (even if/when I'm right).

I also avoid phone calls and email when I'm stressed over something, as if I can magically make frustration go away. I have my email closed down at the moment. *sigh*

[OvertheRainbow]

Yep, me too. What are your thoughts (and anyone else's on the forum) about self-soothing? That's an interesting idea.

[Slo-mo a-go-go]

There are many things I want to be able to discuss w/ others, esp. here. fun or serious but there is a high mental cost to form them into words.
Many days tis' too expensive/ or I'm saving my "pennies" for other things.

Jus' a-twiddling my thumbs while waiting for our telepathy to emerge & evolve........

[Slo-mo a-go-go]

-footnote fun!!!!-----

I have to say that this something I so thankful for; getting my dx allowed me to acknowledge & see my deficit, which in turn enables me to really be smart about how I spend my mental energy. This is a new ability to shape & control my life that I lacked bf ADHD-PI dx.

I love reading how all you guys are making such smart decisions in that way too.

my "you guys" usage apology------>(sorry, I try not to bc it does offend some people, but I still haven't found a good enough alternative that feels right to me, keeps things casual, but I'm taking suggestions if you got 'em!)

[sinned17]

I'm an avoider as well. Right now I can't get myself to go on dates even though I don't have to try to get a date. For example, tonight this girl has been asking me to dinner for awhile and I kind of agreed to but then I just didn't want to do it. Now I'm just staying home. I don't know what it is but I just don't want to deal with it. I also avoid phone calls, texts, and emails when I'm not in the mood.

Is this avoidance thing an ADHD thing? I always thought it's just me not caring about many things that interests everyone else in the world.

[silivrentoliel]

Originally Posted by OvertheRainbow

Yep, me too. What are your thoughts (and anyone else's on the forum) about self-soothing? That's an interesting idea.

It really depends on the situation, but the best self soothing technique I have for myself is coloring. Provided I can find my books and colored pencils. It'll even calm a panic attack! But I have to let myself give into the coloring rather than just blindly doing it.

[ginniebean]

Yes I often avoid social occaisions, especially the where there is a degree of risk. Sometimes, I'm just tired and can't put out the energy, other times even thinking about how much work goes into being social makes me want to avoid. I have social anxiety and it is getting better so I don't beat myself up.

[ginniebean]

Originally Posted by sinned17

I'm an avoider as well. Right now I can't get myself to go on dates even though I don't have to try to get a date. For example, tonight this girl has been asking me to dinner for awhile and I kind of agreed to but then I just didn't want to do it. Now I'm just staying home. I don't know what it is but I just don't want to deal with it. I also avoid phone calls, texts, and emails when I'm not in the mood.

Is this avoidance thing an ADHD thing? I always thought it's just me not caring about many things that interests everyone else in the world.

When I first came to ADDF I was astounded at how many things I thought were just personal quirks I kept seeing show up in other people's threads. I would never have related them to my adhd.

[mhyper790]

I am the opposite. There more I get fusterated about somthing the more passionate I become. Sometimes though this is a bad thing. I find that when my eomtions run high I don't always think things through and I want to say the first the thing that comes to mind before taking the time to investigate and understand what it is I am so frustrated about.

However, the days I do think about it, I get a end result that all most always is positive. Its amazing what I can accomplish when I take my Frustrations and out them to use in a positive way.

IMO you have to stick up in what you believe in. Else you are just living someone els's life. (Hope that did not come out the wrong way.)