Help for Picky Eater!!!

[JenE]

Hi everyone, been a while since I've been on. I need some help with my son's diet.

He is extremely picky and his meds effectively kill his appetite. We are very concerned. He is growing and is actually above average on the charts but he is soooo thin and has no muscle and no energy. He craves carbs and sweets, doesn't like meats, eggs are iffy. We need to get some more protein in him.

He likes milk and cereals, oatmeal, cream of wheat, pasta, cheeses, potatos. He'll eat pizza but only cheese and preferred white sauce to red. I already add carnation instant breakfast to his milk but he doesn't care for the texture so I mix it with nesquick. He will eat Zone bars but I hate to give them to him all the time. Can I maybe add evaporated milk to his oatmeal instead of water to boost the protein?

I am also at odds with Dad about his eating. He wanted to make him sit at the table all night last night until he eat a piece of pork which of course resulted in nothing but a power struggle and he gave in because DS was about to totally lose it. He had eating mac n cheese and baked beans and I was satisfied with his dinner but Dad was NOT! How can I get him to understand he can get his protein from other sources than meat?

Any ideas on helping improve his diet?

[TygerSan]

Will he do dairy/smoothie type stuff? You might even be able to get some protein powder in there for some more oomph (caveat being it can get kinda gritty if you put too much in. I'd almost rather just put in Greek/strained yogurt which has more protein). I like that better than the instant breakfast stuff, which I've never really liked the flavor of, unless it's almost frozen.

If he doesn't like meat, why fight that battle? There are other ways of getting protein (beans or lentils and rice, for example), or even protein bars (if you can find ones that he likes). Will he eat nuts?

Is it possible for him to eat before the meds kick in, or after they wear off? That might help as well.

[JenE]

Thanks Tygersan. yes, I'm with you, I don't care about the meat. I've just got to get my DH to understand he doesn't have to eat the meat. I thought the mac n cheese and beans last night was acceptable but DH didn't. I also don't support the strongarm tactic he tried last night either. I was going to tell him that if he forced it, he was going to sit with him all night not me!! He finally gave up but said some ugly things including he just wasn't going to care anymore. (DH is ADHD also and can be quite volatile which doesn't help matters).

I would prefer to try to get the best nutrition into him I can while encouraging him to try things at each meal. He did try a turkey and cheese sub at lunch yesterday and the first bite he loved! The second, not so much and then he was pretty much done with it.

He's very texture sensitive so protein smoothies are usually a no go because of either grittiness or "too creamy" if you can imagine that! We just tend to cook what he will eat and then he gets tired of it and we have to find something else he'll eat.

He does eat baked beans and certain protein bars. He will eat breads and rice and potatos. He ate eggs at my IL's but wont eat them for me. He likes bacon if I cook it very crisp. I may be able to sneak some tofu into something like mac n cheese if it doesn't change the taste too much. He doesn't like yogurt but maybe I could try some of the new frozen greek yogurts. We find greek yogurt too tangy but I heard the frozen ones are good.

It's just so frustrating. Especially when it puts DH and me at odds against each other.

[LynneC]

Creamy peanut butter? (natural is better, just peanuts and salt). Cheese quesadillas with refried beans with sour cream on the side, hummus on pita squares, grilled cheese sandwiches. What about homemade lunchables with wheat crackers, squares of cheese and turkey slices? French toast is an easy way to sneak an egg in...

[holmracing]

I know they area little expensive but have you tried pediasure... They are coming out with some generic brands that are a little less spendy.. but i have a 7 year old who is an extremely picky eater and he will drink these. They taste like a chocolate or vanilla shake.

I give him one in the morning and that helps get him some of his nutrition. If he will eat beans then he gets plenty of protein from those. He also gets protein from milk.

I talked to my sons OT about this a while back and she told me to go in steps with new foods.

1. Smell the food... when he can tolerate this
2. touch the food with hands.... when he can tolerate this...
3. touch food to mouth... when tolerated
4. Touch food with tongue.. when tolerated
5. Chew food and spit out... when tolerated
6. chew food and swallow

This is because some foods will make kids gag just from the smell or texture. My son will say he likes the first couple bites also but not eat anymore because he doesn't like the texture. If i change food at all by hiding stuff in it.. he will no longer eat that food!!! So be careful before you add to much stuff to his food.

As for DH... I would just print out a list of foods that have protein in them and highlight the ones that aren't meat.

Don't know if this helps but good luck!

[Ms. Mango]

What is it about guys and protein? It's like some kind of caveman complex.

DS is a pretty picky eater but likes meat and chicken, so we're good there. Plain cheese pizza is fine! My DH has issues with portion sizing, not enough protein being eaten and doesn't like it that not every meal DS eats is 100% balanced nutritionally. If DS is eating chicken and fruit at dinner but no starch does it really matter--especially if he had a huge bowl of cereal for breakfast? DH has finally relented on that one. The protein--DH gets that you can get protein from other sources and is ok with DS eating cheese quesidillas, etc. For portion sizing I got out my measuring cups and showed him what a child-size portion of certain foods looks like on a plate.

DS is still thin. His pediatrician is not too worried at this point so DH is a bit calmer.

This isn't something to fight over; if your DH really is fighting you on this maybe a consult with a nutritionist would be helpful for everyone.

[arrested_truth]

Turkey with lettuce on whole wheat bread.. cottage cheese
Cheesy broccoli!

[RedHairedWitch]

You can put extra eggs into things like pancake batter and cookie dough and biscuit batter etc.

If he eats eggs at your IL's then find out how the eggs get cooked there.

I thought I had a lot of food issues when I was a kid. I hated everything. Then, as a young adult on my own, I was was forced to learn how to cook and to eat at other people's homes. I discovered that while I do have some texture issues, I didn't hate food. My mom is just a very ****ty cook! Might be time to try some different recipes. Are there other foods he eats at restaurants or at other people's homes?

Tell your hubby that my Dad used to pull the same sit with you all night until you eat your cold dinner thing. I'm 32, I still haven't forgiven him for it. There are certain foods, like creamed corn, that I can't eat, because it triggers memories of those nights. IMHO forcing a child to eat, especially after hours of sitting there as it goes cold and becomes gross, is abuse.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by holmracing

I know they area little expensive but have you tried pediasure... They are coming out with some generic brands that are a little less spendy.. but i have a 7 year old who is an extremely picky eater and he will drink these. They taste like a chocolate or vanilla shake.

I give him one in the morning and that helps get him some of his nutrition. If he will eat beans then he gets plenty of protein from those. He also gets protein from milk.

I talked to my sons OT about this a while back and she told me to go in steps with new foods.

1. Smell the food... when he can tolerate this
2. touch the food with hands.... when he can tolerate this...
3. touch food to mouth... when tolerated
4. Touch food with tongue.. when tolerated
5. Chew food and spit out... when tolerated
6. chew food and swallow

This is because some foods will make kids gag just from the smell or texture. My son will say he likes the first couple bites also but not eat anymore because he doesn't like the texture. If i change food at all by hiding stuff in it.. he will no longer eat that food!!! So be careful before you add to much stuff to his food.

As for DH... I would just print out a list of foods that have protein in them and highlight the ones that aren't meat.

Don't know if this helps but good luck!

I've used that program with a lot of kids. Works well...although they are not happy about it! Make sure to give LOTS of praise and high fives for their efforts. Think of it like this, someone wants you to eat mud. It's slimy, gritty, gross and makes you want to gag when you put it near your mouth. How much are you going to HATE that? Give them LOTS of praise.

Another idea is to do "bite for bite" Cut up the food into equal pieces if possible. For every one bite of desired food, they need to take one bite of new food. Praise lots!

If it is a big issue, you might think of doing a token reward system like a sticker chart. For every night he eats new foods, he gets a sticker. Every 10 stickers he gets a small prize (I like to make a special "prize box" they help decorate and put items from the dollar section at target or something like that).

[JenE]

Thanks everyone!

I forgot to mention that he's allergic to peanuts so that cuts out a great source of protein for him.

I agree with the response regarding forcing him to stay until he eats. That is NOT what will help and in the end will actually hurt. Unfortunately DH and I are not always on the same page.

I did some label checking on the items he DOES eat and he is actually getting a fair amount of protein but he could definitely eat more. He also doesn't eat much at a sitting. I think DH is just hung up on that and him not eating meat. But DH will eat meat and carbs but no veggies so he's not much better! LOL!!

I'm ok with smaller more frequent meals as long as it's healthy. Last night he ate a little more than 1/4 of a frozen cheese pizza for dinner with a cup of chocolate milk (part Nesquick part carnation instant breakfast). That's not much. Then he asked for a snack and I let him eat 2 oreos and a glass of plain milk. Now on nights he doesn't eat a good dinner, I'll let him have a bowl of cereal with milk for his snack.

We are already doing most of the suggestions. I try to make sure there is something he'll eat at each meal and encourage him to try the other stuff. He will NOT try fruits or veggies but he will occasionally try a meat but usually only a bite and then he doesn't like it.

He is growing (3 inches and 9 lbs since January) so the dr isn't really worried. He's 10yrs old and I checked the growth charts and he's around 60-65% but before starting meds 4 yrs ago, he was in 95%. He just looks so thin, tires easily and doesn't have any muscle mass. Guess vitamin supplements are a must! I've wondered about something like periactin to increase his appetite but if he's still picky, I don't think it would help. He'd just want to eat more of the not so good stuff.

Thanks for all your help. I'll keep you posted!

[CheekyMonkey]

I've known parents to sneak veggies into foods, like muffins and chicken nuggets.

[happytexas]

I would try to get your dh to articulate what exactly he is concerned about; is he really afraid that your ds isn't getting enough nutrition or does he consider this a behavior problem? My ds has sensitive senses that are like mine when I was pregnant; also, when I was pregnant with him I had an incredibly picky tummy and spent a fortune on food because what was appealing changed from minute to minute.

A few things I would consider:

• Trying a different medication. With my ds, Concerta affected his appetite but Vyvanse didn't after the first couple of weeks.
• Consult with a nutritionist about making sure your ds is getting enough within the limits of what he will eat. It would be better if they are experienced with special needs and can work with your ds directly. Maybe your ds would do better with a deal-a-meal type program where he can match-up foods to make sure he is getting enough calories/nutrition.
• Consult with an OT.
• Get him involved with cooking. Try a cookbook like "The Sneaky Chef"; maybe he'd be ok with "sneaking" in foods if he's doing the sneaking (like pureed carrot in spaghetti sauce, chocolate zucchini bread, or tofu mousse).

[holmracing]

Originally Posted by happytexas

I would try to get your dh to articulate what exactly he is concerned about; is he really afraid that your ds isn't getting enough nutrition or does he consider this a behavior problem? My ds has sensitive senses that are like mine when I was pregnant; also, when I was pregnant with him I had an incredibly picky tummy and spent a fortune on food because what was appealing changed from minute to minute.

A few things I would consider:

• Trying a different medication. With my ds, Concerta affected his appetite but Vyvanse didn't after the first couple of weeks.
• Consult with a nutritionist about making sure your ds is getting enough within the limits of what he will eat. It would be better if they are experienced with special needs and can work with your ds directly. Maybe your ds would do better with a deal-a-meal type program where he can match-up foods to make sure he is getting enough calories/nutrition.
• Consult with an OT.
• Get him involved with cooking. Try a cookbook like "The Sneaky Chef"; maybe he'd be ok with "sneaking" in foods if he's doing the sneaking (like pureed carrot in spaghetti sauce, chocolate zucchini bread, or tofu mousse).

My 7 year old with asperger's will almost always try a new food if it is one that he found in a cookbook and wants to try. If they look like little animals or something that they can put together to look cool that is even better. Gets him excited about it.

There are alot of kid cookbooks out there that make food fun for kids and are nutritious!

One other thing i use to my advantage... dessert! If my kids don't eat enough for dinner (no i don't mean clean the plate! That is just ridiculous!!!) My kids will ask me if they have eaten enough to get dessert and i usually have then take 2 more "big bites" unless they have eaten more than half of everything on their plate that they like, and tried one bite of new food.

I'm pretty sure the meat thing is just a guy thing... My husband used to think a good dinner was a steak and a roll. NOT a good dinner. At the time i worked nights and this is what he was feeding my son for dinner every night. When i found this out i was livid!! Now he is much better and i am home all the time with the kids so this doesn't happen anymore plus my 7 year old would starve if he did this!

[JenE]

We do the same thing with desserts. If he doesn't eat well and still wants a "snack" before bed, then he gets something like cereal. If he DOES eat well, he can get something more fun like cookies or poptarts. Also the same with his plate. I don't overload his plate, just give him a reasonable amount. If he's eaten 4 out of 5 chicken nuggets, I know he can eat one more so we strongly encourage him then use the "snack" routine I mentioned before.

[BohoButterfly]

When i was little, i was a picky eater, and also a 'strange' eater, lol. Thankfully i loved veges, meat, all the stuff you need to grow, but i still drove my mum nutty with my eating habits.
I suddenly stopped liking cooked onion(always hated it raw) when i was maybe... Four or five. I dont know why! Mum tried it diced to miniscule scale in spaghetti, and i knew- i sat there and picked out every piece. If i ate onion accidentally i would gag.
I also always had an issue with my food 'touching'- mum had to get me a separater plate. I wouldnt eat even my fave foods if they had touched each other! I also would 'de-skin' my peas one by one. I took ages to eat, and still do- thankfully i grew out of the rest and actually now mix my foods together to the point that my bf laughs at me!
Your son will probably grow out of this to some degree, too, as he gets older.
Until then, my suggestions are:

1. If you attempt hidden vegies, blend them really well.
2. If he has problems with texture, id guess getting him to even eat chewable vitamins may me hard? There are brands that now make gummy vitamins that he might like- they're just like lollies.
3. If his fibre is low, try something like benefibre, which is meant to dissolve completely in water and be undetectable- not grittiness or taste. You can stir that through his food.
4. Does he like chippies? (fries) If so, you could try him on some oven baked potato chippies and add a few other vege chippies, like sweet potato, or carrot.
5. I forget the brand name now, but you can get supplements that are meant to contain such and such serves of veges and they do a fruit one, too- not sure, but you could possibly open them and add them to his food, too.

Other than that, i think its a great idea to try a reward system for new foods- positive encouragement. Also, if you havent already, maybe ask him what would he have be different about each that would make it more appealing, and if it can be done, ask if hed try it that way?
Good luck! Hope you make some progress