Large Rant about a recently diagnosed 18 year old with ADHD.

[Molite]

Hey ADHD communtiy! This might be a long post not sure, but I'm on Adderall right now and just typing my thoughts. Skip to the paragraph after the next for the questions. The paragraph below is a small summary of my journey in dealing with it and about my jouney in finally finding out about ADHD. Questions on the bottom if. I would also like to apologize if anything here is inappropriate or rude, I am fairly new here and not entirely sure how this community is. Please mods feel free to edit, move, this post just not delete as I worked quite hard on it. But now I'm one of you guys now, yay!

I'm a 18 year old in 2nd year of college. My whole life I felt I was different from other people. I used to do fine in school in Elementary and Middle but noticed I was very impulsive, forgetful, and inattentive. My grades were okay until Middle of Highschool. I was considered intelligent as I was recommended for GT Math and Science going into High School. I took higher level classes and was fine until Junior year. I was never a hard worker in High School but managed to get decent grades. I used to find the easy way and procrastinate excessively.

My symptoms started worsening and then in Junior year I was taking college level classes and just couldn't take it and my grades started dropping. I guess I was overwhelmed. I saw other students doing just fine and always wondered why I was doing poorly I tried as hard as I could but just wasn't good enough. Luckily I graduated on time and got into a top 100 public university. No feat I know. I started off doing poorly in college first semester and in the 2nd I did even worse failing my first class ever in any school. The feeling was horrible. I was desperate for help.

I went to my family doctor for anxiety as I thought that was a problem, maybe depression too. I felt it was a fast visit he asked me some questions and gave me Abilify. I felt happier first couple of days but it wasn't helping at all, it even made me me worse. My parents lectured me on going to the doctor. My parents HATE medicine for stuff like anxiety and depression or any mental illness. They also HATE psychology and wouldn't even consider allowing me to go to one Psychiatrist mainly because she didnt wan to pay and have it on record that I visited for mental health counseling. They even scared me by giving examples of relatives I know or they know who took medications and died or are mentally unstable. My parents are greatly misinformed.

I felt helpless and controlled by my parents even though inwas 18. They blamed my problems on video games and for not being religious, I am Muslim. Luckily, I sought my school center for psychological services and was seeing a counselor for anxiety once a week. It kind of helped me but overall I was still doing poorly. Then my counselor asked if I'd like to see my university's Psychiatrist, she insisted and I did. I was amazed they had a Psychiatrist that I could see no questions asked for FREE. He was a very nice doctor but told me to have a sleep test done because I was feeling sleep deprived even when getting like 7 hours of sleep during school. I would tend to sleep during classes, I swear I tried staying awake.

I had the sleep test done and my insurance was billed 10k for overnight and daytime. I insisted that I didn't think it was a sleep disorder but he wouldn't move forward before this was ruled out. My insurance covered everything which was nice. My parents didn't like that at all, they just keep lecturing me and putting more stress on me by saying "see we told you so". They said the sleepin test would be a waste and they were kind of right. My parents aren't supportive in this regard. I do listen to my parents though they are good parents, just grew up on different beliefs. I guess it wasn't entirley useless I did have a very minor sleep apnea but it was so minor the specialist didn't diagnose me with it.

So I come back to my schools Psychiatrist and we talk about ADHD as I visited a neurologist who briefly mentioned of I being a possibility. I brought this up. After an hour he came to a conclusion that it's Definitley ADHD. He talked to me about medications like Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta, etc... I am very new to this so I asked him a lot of questions and he answered very well. We talked about XR and IR. He asked me which one I'd like to try and I said Adderall XR because I want the effects to come progressively not suddenly. He said that was a good choice. It took 3 days to authorize it, mainly because my Psychiatrist had to call the insurance company and since I filled it Friday night he wasn't available till Monday morning. I was patient and now I have myself 20mg Orange Pills x 60.

I am now on Adderall XR 20mg once a day. My Psych said I can take 2 but I'd rather stick to a low dose. My first question is that I started taking it today and noticed that although the prescription said Adderall XR 20mg, when I filled it on the bag at the pharmacy it said Amphetamine Salts 20mg ER what does this mean? It only cost $8.00 with my insurance being United Healthcare Choice Plus. I didn't notice it until I got home so I couldn't ask the Pharmacist. Is this Adderall XR or a variation of it?

Skip below paragraph if not you're not interested in finding out my experience with Adderall, questions come after that paragraph.


My experience with the drug so far:

I took one pill yesterday at 2:30pm as soon as I filled the prescription. I didn't notice any immediate effects. I took it without eating anything. I went home and slept as I usually nap around this time and woke up at 4:00pm feeling extremely refreshed. I felt great, active, happy. I noticed that I wanted to do things and for the first time in my life I felt my mind was clear of "fog." I could think without thinking of a million things at once. I almost cried, I may be 6' 4" and 270 but I'm pretty sensitive. Life was awesome for the first time. I didn't feel like a god but it was probably the greatest day in my life. It was clear that ADHD was the culprit for my impulsive behavior (which would cause great embarrassment, thus lowering my self esteem and leading into social anxiety and depression), inattentiveness, forgetfulness, anxiety, depression, and trouble focusing.

One thing I immediately noticed was that I felt calm and not impatient or fidgety. I normally tap my leg, rub my chin, play with hands constantly even sitting down and doing nothing. It pains me to sit still. For the first time in my life the urge to move and fidget or do anything was gone, I actually had the ability to sit still while focusing on whatever activity I was doing. I spent the day cleaning and organizing my room completley (I had never done this before and would always do a half ***** job at cleaning it).

Before I would just make it look nice when actually it isn't lol. Like just throw stuff in my closet hide clothes under my bed. For the first time and in 7 hours I cleaned, organized, perfected my room. Yes it took 7 hours of constant work without getting distracted to clean my room. Although I was losing faith in religion, taking Adderall allowed me to get closer to mine. I know it is sort of ironic that science saved me instead of religion. But I think that Religion when kept in moderation is a good thing, I am a very open minded person and I do my best to not let bias deter my judgement or be ignorant.

I also had a habit of playing video games constantly and I also had a porn addiction (masturbating once a day). I didn't have these addictive urges anymore. I sought knowledge and in a matter of a half hour I finished 100 pages of a book about knowledge lol. I felt I was also much more creative and sharper, while cleaning I had wonderful ideas come into my head (not like those distractions, but actual clear and coherent thoughts). I also started writing/typing journal entries about my experiences on Adderall (hopefully I can make this a habit kind of like a diary. I noticed that I don't sweat as much as I used to when cleaning my room.

I did several speed typing tests and I scored 80-90 wpm easily whereas before I would sometimes struggle to break 75. The only side effects that I have are stomach pain below the navel (constipation/gas) this is easily overcome by taking a teaspoon of Ajwain (it really works if you have gas, works fast). Right now this morning I took Adderall and I can tell when it kicks in by a taste in my mouth. This happens almost exactl 1.5 hours after taking it. This happened yesterday and this morning. I have a dry mouth, loss of apetite, and a very VERY minor headache it's just like head pain comes and goes in like 5 min. Other than that I feel great again this morning. I took the pill at 4:30am because I fast this month and wake up at this time to eat before sunrise. The effects started again at 6.

I have started typing this long rant since 6:30 and it is now 8:30 and I did it without taking break or blinking. Unbelievable. I feel like I'm not drugged but you know something is different in your head. It's not euphoric but I do feel much happier, no mood swings or anger or sadness. Now for questions:


1. What is Amphetamine Salts ER 20mg, same as Adderall XR? Differences? Similarities?

2. Is 1.5 hours for Adderall XR to kick in normal?

3. How do I know if I start to become tolerant? I can take it 2x a day my Psychiatrist said so. I just think right now the effects are highly apparent and I don't want to get tolerant at a high dose his quickly.

4. What are the long, long term effects of Adderall. I heard that things like speed and cocaine cause brain aging, is this true? Adderall doesn't cause Alzhiemers or Parkinson's or Cancer right?

5. I'm curious about this Memantine compound. For the past couple of days and especially on Adderall I've been reading about ADHD non stop. Should I talk to my Psychiatris about it? My worst fear is becoming tolerant. So far it seems I have the same feelings as other people do on Adderall so maybe Memantine might help. I don't want the feeling of Adderall to wear off, ever.

6. Should I try Magnesium glycirate or Haperizine A first to prevent possible tolerance. Or should I just wait altogether for a month and see if I need to increase my dose. My Psychitrist told me that tolerance is unlikely and doesn't happen to most people. Is this true?

7. I have never been addicted to drugs. I even tried smoking a cig once and I didn't feel anything and hated it. I never smoked anything since, even though a couple of my freinds were smoking weed and I just didn't even want to try it. I am addicted to porn and video games but so far Adderall has subsides these feelings. I don't get the urge to play video games and I'm not horny all the time. So I'm hoping I don't get addicted to Adderall but without it I feel lost.

8. Does anyone have any secrets for staying organized or any useful application to use like for an iPhone or Computer?

9. Any school tips or tricks? I don't want to sign up with my disabilities center at my university. Do you think I should? I heard you can get grants or financial aid for ADHD. Although my tuition is already paid for.

10. How do you guys take breaks? I just want to keep on working and focusing on medication. I find typing this up to be so fun. I haven't been this productive for months and BAM now I am.


Okay I have to stop now because I was work soon, and I must get ready. Before I never took showers, yes I was a disaster but now I want to. I would have probably kept on going on and on and on if I didn't have to go to work. Typing is just so much fun even though you won't believe me but I typed this whole thing on my iPhone 4S with only 2 thumbs HAHA! It took twice as long but was three times more fun as I now find challenges to be much more fun.


It started out as a small paragraph...

[Molite]

I apologize. I brought up the Pr0n and Video Game Addiction out of context. I included that in there due to this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=wSF82AwSDiU

It's a Tedx Talk by Gary Wilson who basically studies pr0n addiction and over stimulation of the brain. This video hit home to me greatly, as I was addicted to both Video Games and Pr0n. I would play games like WoW non-stop for hours on end. Before watching this video I didn't even know they could be considered addictions. They may or may not have contributed to my ADHD symptoms. It's just there's not a day in my life before yesterday where I felt normal. I am not embarrassed for admitting these addictions.

The point of this rant was to ask you guys questions and also to or off some steam I guess, just hope it's acceptable to do that here. I mean believe that my life was changed this week significantly and I need to tell someone about it.

Thanks

[ginniebean]

Can we.get paragraph breaks? This is killer. Thanks either way mods!

[Lillianmay]

Some answers to a few of your questions:

1. That is the generic name for Adderall XR 20mg.

2. It is supposed to kick in about 1 hour after you take it – but everybody is a little different. First day on Adderall can be a little euphoric.


3. Your doctor probably meant you could take a second dose 6 to 8 hours later if you needed to get a full day’s coverage – but be careful about taking it too close to bedtime because you might have trouble sleeping. If you are not sure about the doc’s directions, then call his office and get it cleared up.

4. My understanding is that the stimulants are short acting in the sense they do not build up in the body and I have not heard any reputable source say that there are dangerous long term effects.

Go to your disabilities office at school if you think you would be helped by accommodations like extra test time or help with note taking. I have not heard of disabilities office helping with tuition. Vocational Rehab (a government program, not a school program) sometimes helps with tuition for people with disabilities.

There is a section on the forum about Adderall in the Treatment and Management section called “Medications” and other sections like “Resources, Tools and Organization Tips” that can give use some good advice.

I am not familiar with Memantine or using Magnesium glycirate. Do a forum search – I think others have written about them.

[Offle]

Hi, and welcome to the forum! I wish I could answer all of your questions, but I just woke up twenty minutes ago and I don't want to attempt anything too science-y this early in the morning because I'm afraid I might give you some inaccurate information. So I'll answer the ones I'm fairly sure I know the answers to.

1. This could be wrong, but as far as I know, Amphetamine salts is the generic form of Adderall. Some people don't report it feeling any different, some people do. Like all medicines, it varies from person to person.

2. It's normal for Adderall XR to take that long to kick in. Unlike IR, ER takes longer to kick in. However, it also lasts longer, for the most part.

3. Just to make this very clear, never compare your adderall's effectiveness to the very first time you took it. For many people, adderall has a euphoric effect the first time you take it. It will make you feel like you can conquer the world and still be home in time to clean your house. It won't always feel like that. In fact, the euphoria goes away pretty quickly. You should wait until a week or so after you've started taking adderall to really gage its effects for you and to get a better idea of what it can really do for you. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking they've become tolerant to adderall because the euphoria is gone when that's not the case.

I tell you that so that you don't mistake the loss of the euphoria for tolerance. For the most part, you will still struggle while on the medicine, it just won't be as much. You'll know you're becoming tolerant when it no longer calms your hyperactivity, helps you focus, expands your attention span, and basically it no longer does what it was prescribed to do. But it has to be like that over a fair period of time, not just a day. Adderall's effects can some times vary from day to day. If you do start developing a tolerance to adderall too quickly, you can always be switched to another medication. There are a few other kinds you can try, and all different dosages to try them at. ADHD meds are not a set science, it's trial and error. So it can take a while to find what works and at what dosage it works at.

7. Addiction to things is not unusual for people with untreated ADHD because we are on a constant search for stimulation. A lot of people with ADHD self medicate with things that give them stimulation, like drugs, alcohol, or porn and video games. When you can find stimulation elsewhere, and focus more on what you need to be doing you're no longer looking to those things to stimulate it for you. I don't know is that's really the case here, but it's just a thought.

As for getting addicted to adderall, my advice is to be open and honest with your psychiatrist and never up your dosage or take your adderall more than the recommended number of times a day without talking to your psychiatrist first. Also, never go chasing the Euphoria, it's not worth it. If it helps, you can also take breaks. Go over Christmas break without taking the adderall, or summer break. Don't take it on weekends, things like that.

8. My biggest thing for staying organized for school is a dry erase board, a working pen, and lots of lists written in plain sight or stuck somewhere I know I won't miss them. I also set a lot of phone alarms with reminders to do things or for appointments because I know I'm less likely to miss them when I'm being annoyed by my phone alarm to go to those appointments or catch that bus.

9. I'm signed up with my disabilities services because they give me extra time on tests, access to more notes for class, priority scheduling, and things like that. At my school they don't give you any financial help, only help with classes and school work. There's really no downside to applying with them. The worst thing that could happen is that you don't need all the help they have to give you, which really isn't a bad thing at all.

The financial help I get with school because my ADHD comes from the Department of Rehabilitation Services, or DRS. They help me afford my a medication, because the co-pay is sometimes too expensive, pay for my books, help pay for my classes, and they upped my financial aide refund from $5000 a year to $10,000 a year without raising my loans. Part of this was because I received more scholarships, but still. It was nice to have the help. They also help me a lot by helping me stay focus on my career plan for school and once I get out of school.

The only downside to DHR is that they can be a b***** to get help from. For me, it was easy. Where I live we have a great office that is really good about making the process as easy as it can possibly be. They tell you exactly what they need to know and what documents they need to have in order to get you the help your asking for, and they tell you how to get those things. Other offices are not so great. I have a friend who has been trying for over a year to get help from them and they've still stuck in the application phase because their DRS office is horrible and won't tell her what she needs or where to get it. So it all depends.

10. Breaks are optional. They help some people, they don't others. If you are worried about addiction and tolerance breaks would probably be a good idea. Talk to your psychiatrist about it and see what they think. Personally, I take breaks sometimes, other times I don't bother. It really depends on what I'm doing during that period of time and all that.

I hoped I helped you out some.

[Molite]

Hey Offle and Lillianmay!

Thanks for the quick replies! I also promise ginniebean to make paragraphs. I usually do but for some reason under adderall I just have to keep typing non-stop. I actually enjoy it.

I have a couple of other questions. When I'm reading a book or on the internet or looking at something my eyes are able to just stare, but comprehend. It feels like I have a blank stare however I am able to easily comprehend everything that I am looking at. What is this new feeling and sensation?

I only got 3 hours of sleep last night, does Adderall not work as effectively when sleep deprived? I'm doing my best to sleep properly tonight.

Also I get this odd taste in my mouth like a neutral taste. I feel this is when the Adderalll XR kicks in, does anyone else have this? This happens about 1 - 1.5 hours after ingestion.

For now these are my 3 questions. I think I have more but I'm actually tired (I think I'm crashing). I'm probably tired due to work today as well as less sleep the night before. I took 1 Adderall XR 20mg at 4:30am and noticed effects around 6:00am. I felt effects until around 1:00pm. I felt really great.

At this time I felt my eyes were heavy and I new I was crashing. So I took another one at 1:30pm. I felt really great again until 6:00pm as I was probably working and tired due to sleep deprivation. So can sleep deprivation cause Adderall to be weaker?

Thanks

[ginniebean]

Ty!! Looks like others were able to answer you pretty well. Much appreciated the paragraph breaks!!!

[Molite]

Yesterday morning I weighed 270 lbs. after two days and a total of about 60mg of Adderall XR I now weigh 263.6 lbs. This is almost a 7 lb decrease in two days. NOTE: I am also currently fasting so I am only eating once a day. Is this too extreme? Should I stop fasting. I'd actually like to keep fasting as I'd like to actually lose weight.

[ginniebean]

You can fast fine for awhile, eventually your body will go into starvation and hold on to those pounds.

[Molite]

Sorry my biology isn't that clear at the moment could you explain what you mean my body will go into starvation? Basically my body will starve and use my body fat? I also noticed I don't have the urge to write a lot because I think the Adderall wore off, it's been 9 hours since I took and I can feel the crash. It always is apparent in the eyes.