I need help :(

[ToneTone]

Natalie,

One thing I keep noticing. You keep reporting on how he sees things. I confess: I tend to always try to see things from another person's point of view. That has its virtues, but it also has its dangers. I worry that you are in the place of dangers.

At some point, it doesn't matter how he sees things. What matters is how you feel. That's what you need to focus on.

I know it's hard--really hard, but if you keep trying to see the world from the point of view of a troubled person, it means you have to become more troubled yourself. See what I mean?

In other words, you can't put insanity on the same level as sanity. You simply can't do that.

It's your job to trust your own judgment here. You can do it. Your view is worth it, even if he disagrees and calls you names. Your judgment is valid and it is enough! Don't worry about his approval or agreement. You'll never get it any more than I'll get a robber's approval to give back the money he takes from me.

Tone

[RedHairedWitch]

Tone tone is right.

Also, try to see things from your kids perspective.

[mummyofthree]

I havnt read any replies yet...but for some reason I always feel kind of scared to read what has been written :s

[mummyofthree]

I'm trying I really am but I always let him back, once again I'm up at 3.30 am with my 20 month old,
Because he's dad refused to let me ut him back to bed when he woke up,
He stands watching over everything I do, telling me I'm doing this wrong that wrong I'm to loud, whatever he can pick at.
@cheekymonkey....I can relate completely I know in my heart there's nothing wrong with me at all I am a fantastic mum, he tells me I have anger problems I need to see a physciatrist, I don't do things with the kids, he ppushes me to breaking ppoint after days and days and then calls me a bad mum if I burst into tears whilst he's doing it, I'm not crazy I know I'm not, I can clearly see situations and what exactly is happpening, but he's made up version is all he will accept,
Its like he gets a kick out of me crying or arguing my point so then in a way he can say YOU see its ALL YOU,
He's awful for days and then when I stop and say why do you keep doing this to me,
He will loudly and rudley start shouting SHHHHHH over and over what I'm saying
Saying shut u u terrible mother, scarring your kids, your kids are gona grow up messed up because of you
And in a way he's. Completely right because I'm not protecting them, they've not got the home they deserve and I'm as bad as him for not keeping them safe from what they see and hear,
I just don't know what to do anymore,with anyything at all every aspect of everythong I have absolutley nothing and nobody other than my babies anymore

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by mummyofthree

I'm trying I really am but I always let him back, once again I'm up at 3.30 am with my 20 month old,
Because he's dad refused to let me ut him back to bed when he woke up,
He stands watching over everything I do, telling me I'm doing this wrong that wrong I'm to loud, whatever he can pick at.
@cheekymonkey....I can relate completely I know in my heart there's nothing wrong with me at all I am a fantastic mum, he tells me I have anger problems I need to see a physciatrist, I don't do things with the kids, he ppushes me to breaking ppoint after days and days and then calls me a bad mum if I burst into tears whilst he's doing it, I'm not crazy I know I'm not, I can clearly see situations and what exactly is happpening, but he's made up version is all he will accept,
Its like he gets a kick out of me crying or arguing my point so then in a way he can say YOU see its ALL YOU,
He's awful for days and then when I stop and say why do you keep doing this to me,
He will loudly and rudley start shouting SHHHHHH over and over what I'm saying
Saying shut u u terrible mother, scarring your kids, your kids are gona grow up messed up because of you
And in a way he's. Completely right because I'm not protecting them, they've not got the home they deserve and I'm as bad as him for not keeping them safe from what they see and hear,
I just don't know what to do anymore,with anyything at all every aspect of everythong I have absolutley nothing and nobody other than my babies anymore

((hug)) I hope you can find a way out.

[sarahsweets]

For the sake of your child/children you MUST leave this abusive as*hole.

[RedHairedWitch]

This is abuse. Plain and simple.

[mummyofthree]

Love. And thanks to all that have helped me see sense and gave me support xx

[bumblebe]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

it sounds like a form of abuse no matter what reason there is for it. He needs help.

YUP! and there is no excuse for abuse...EVER

[mummyofthree]

Well now he's gone I see how much it was abuse
It is not normal
I was not to blame
And me and my boys willl never ever be put through any of
That ever again
They have there mummy back
And its staying that wayxxx

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by mummyofthree

Well now he's gone I see how much it was abuse
It is not normal
I was not to blame
And me and my boys willl never ever be put through any of
That ever again
They have there mummy back
And its staying that wayxxx

How are you doing? I'm sure it was not easy and still isn't. I'm glad you are in a safer place now and ready to recover. You must be one tough cookie!