Do you Know your Psychological Injuries?

[crystal8080]

Originally Posted by ana futura

My dad died 2 months before I was going to bring my partner home to meet him. They were really looking forward to meeting each other, and would have had so much in common. They're in the same field, and I can just picture them talking to each other for hours. I didn't talk to my dad much before he died either, because he was always feeling tired and my mom would answer the phone and not think to pass it along to him. I can't remember our last conversation, and that just kills me.

Absolutely. Grief comes in pieces, and it seems that most of the pain is tied up in lost opportunities. You have all the time in the world one day, and the next there isn't enough. Isn't that the twisting knife? I have some comfort knowing I had "the talk" with her the year before when she got really sick. You know, the one where you give permission to go. But the lost opportunities, the ones that were so close you could almost reach them, are the things that sting the most.

[Unmanagable]

This is a thread that needs to be bumped. Glad I came across it tonight.

It helped me remember that I need to give myself much more of a break than I often do. There's been a lot of trauma along the way.

And I dig this quote from sarahsweet's post:

"Negative thoughts are like walking in a bad neighborhood, you know youre about to get jumped you just dont know when."

[salleh]

the major stuff , losing a family member, abusive realtionships, especially when you really have no way to remove yourself.....all of these are major hurts in your life .....


but the hardest times come when you are hit one after the other in a short period of time .......been through two of those times ......multiple deaths, moving, job loss, business loss, childbirth,.career dreams crushed....all happening within a 2 to 3 year period .....I just got punch drunk .....just about the time i'd be starting to get back on my feet ,....life would say ..."oh I don't think so" ....and ke-rash ....down would come another major life hurt ......


.....I don't think I ever really got through the pain of those times .....it can still blindside me, but at least now, I can't lose any close family members anymore ....they're all gone ......


...The thing that stikes me is how much so many of us have suffered from occurances that we really didn't have any control over at all.....and certainly not our faults.....just crushing hurts .....


....and having little or nothing to do with our ADHD......just painful lives ......

[anonymouslyadd]

I never got the sympathy I deserved when I was a kid. I'm not sure if it's an injury or not, but I find myself pining for sympathy and compassion.

Sometimes, I mope around wondering if someone cares about what I'm going through.

[Conman]

i dont know if it classifies as an injury, but the way my brother has lived his life since an early age has made me unconsciously assume his way of life is the only way i can be happy, i dont know and i dont care anymore

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd

I never got the sympathy I deserved when I was a kid. I'm not sure if it's an injury or not, but I find myself pining for sympathy and compassion.

Sometimes, I mope around wondering if someone cares about what I'm going through.

I care!

And that should be enough!

[anonymouslyadd]

Originally Posted by CheekyMonkey

I care!

And that should be enough!

And what am I supposed to do when I'm thinking like that? Look at an emoticon and think of CM?

If you really do care (I think you do), then maybe I'll write down what you say on a notecard to remind myself that there are people out there that care about me.

[Fuzzy12]

Yes, I think I know my psychological injuries. Some were inflicted by others but most were self inflicted, I guess. I'm too ashamed to share them here (at least for now..I've mentioned bits and pieces anyway in other threads) but I do find it always surprising what a deep impact they have left and how they still affect my thinking and behaviour.

I think, it's good to know them so that you can realise, as you said, when you are having an overreaction to something rather trivial happening, but sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't be better off if I could just forget about them completely. (Trust my stupid brain to only remember the crappy bits of my life in all details). But then I guess a psychological injury leaves a scar no matter how much you try to forget or ignore it. Maybe it's better to try and deal with it.

I've been pondering why I'm feeling hurt over this. It doesn't seem like something major, and I know it's not intentional. My friend is a wonderful person. Then, I remembered those nights my mom would pick me up from Hebrew school and silence filled the car during the ride home.

After we had an argument or I did something wrong, she wouldn't talk to me. My mom wouldn't talk to me for periods of time. I was left to wonder what I did wrong, I suppose. I guess it hurt me.

I can relate to this anon. My dad used to do this sometimes (more to my mom rather than me.) He would sulk, snap or just stop talking and we would be left wondering what we did wrong. I hate, hate, hate that feeling and I hate that my mom had to experience it consistently. It's so unfair. If you've got a problem and don't want to share it at least don't let it out on others. Often it's something that has got absolutely nothing to do with the person who is getting the silent treatment but that just makes it worse. The wondering. The unfairness of it.

[sarahsweets]

Sometimes you just have to remember.....if your parents or loved ones cause you pain they can go f**k themselves...youre better than that.