His Mistakes

[mad83]

Anyone who reads my threads know I love my husband DEARLY, but this confuses the absolute **** outta me.

He makes the same mistakes at home that I do in the workplace that would get me fired. I asked him to refill the soap dispenser with liquid soap. He filled it with bubble bath.

He forgets to put groceries on the list when we run out

Stuff like that. These "little mistakes" are a part of my daily life at a job, but they pile up and get me fired. Yet he's had a job for 6 years and he's a well respected employee.

I don't get it.

[sarahsweets]

Well the first question is does he have adhd?

[ginniebean]

I couldn't remember to put stuff on a grocery list for my very life. Everyone has areas they are better at than others. You may be running into his big problem areas and need to find alternative ways of doing things that work. So often plan A seems like the most logical, the most efficient and just the right way to go about doing things but if plan A doesn't work you are just setting yourself up for frustration.

It's a home, not a business bubble bath is soap it'll do the job.

[Fuzzy12]

the difference is that your husband's employer presumably doesn't love him dearly.

[mad83]

I don't know if he has ADD. I wouldn't be surprised. We run our lives with the same system and it seems to work for him.

[RedHairedWitch]

Plus one we get home we are often so mentally worn out that we make mistakes at home. Besides, lots of men can't tell the difference between soaps and such.

[Zevispaz]

I've put ice cream away in the cupboard, shampoo in the fridge, sugar has ended up in the fridge, stuff ends up in weird places all the time. We just take things in stride. Ice cream can be re-bought, shampoo and sugar can be taken out.

If you're upset over a little soap, maybe get a sense of humor?

If he does well at work, it's probably because he's not in charge of refilling the soap in the office kitchen.

[T-Rex65]

Maybe the skill set he needs at work isn't the same skill set he needs to do the tasks you described.

[Lisa_Mac]

Just because you don't have adhd doesn't mean you're perfect. I don't think there's such a think as a Neuro-typical person. My husband, for example, has the most incredible working memory and focus, but he hasn't a clue when it comes to things like soap and bubble bath. He would quite easily get the 2 mixed up. We all make mistakes, adhd or not. He's probably just more on the ball at work, because his livelihood depends on it, and at home he kinda lets loose. Doesn't focus so much because he's had a hard day at work.

We all have to learn to be tolerant of each others shortcomings.

Lx

[ginniebean]

Well that's silly, there is a typical neurology, it is what we're measured against. Typically people don't forget things as often as we do, there's a range .. like a bell curve.. we're on the outer edge, anyone who falls within the normal range of the bell curve is called neurotypical.

[mad83]

I didn't mean to come off like I was angry at him. I'm just baffled that the mistakes I make and the mistakes he makes are so similar and yet I can't keep a job and they love him at his job. Some of his mistakes are just priceless and make me laugh.

He told me his employers are a lot more lenient with him and the people I've worked with are just ********. Made me feel a bit less incompetent.

[Lisa_Mac]

Originally Posted by ginniebean

Well that's silly, there is a typical neurology, it is what we're measured against. Typically people don't forget things as often as we do, there's a range .. like a bell curve.. we're on the outer edge, anyone who falls within the normal range of the bell curve is called neurotypical.

Yes, but only if measured against adders. I'm add, but next to someone with Aspergers, I'm neurotypical, and next to someone with other neurological disorders, I'm neurotypical. But most people have some sort of neurological shortfall. Measure me against someone with cerebral palsy, and I'm neurotypical. Someone with colourblindness? Are they neurotypical. What about my sister with clinical depression 3 months of the year. Is she neurotypical? Or my brother who has an eating disorder and cannot function properly. Is he neurotypical because he is not adhd?

What about my friend who is able to function perfectly on the surface and seems totally normal to her work colleages. But she suffers from OCD. She is fashionable thin, nobody realises that she is actually anorexic and bulimic. Is she neurotypical?

What about my friend, a very successful businesswoman, who can only function with a cocktail of drugs, including Prozac and many others. Suffers severe anxiety. Is she neurotypical. Everyone who comes in to contact with her thinks she's absolutely normal and incredibly successful.


Just asking.

Lx

[Amtram]

No. If you need meds to bring yourself to a normal level of functionality, you are not neurotypical.

[ginniebean]

Originally Posted by Lisa_Mac

Yes, but only if measured against adders. I'm add, but next to someone with Aspergers, I'm neurotypical, and next to someone with other neurological disorders, I'm neurotypical. But most people have some sort of neurological shortfall. Measure me against someone with cerebral palsy, and I'm neurotypical. Someone with colourblindness? Are they neurotypical. What about my sister with clinical depression 3 months of the year. Is she neurotypical? Or my brother who has an eating disorder and cannot function properly. Is he neurotypical because he is not adhd?

What about my friend who is able to function perfectly on the surface and seems totally normal to her work colleages. But she suffers from OCD. She is fashionable thin, nobody realises that she is actually anorexic and bulimic. Is she neurotypical?

What about my friend, a very successful businesswoman, who can only function with a cocktail of drugs, including Prozac and many others. Suffers severe anxiety. Is she neurotypical. Everyone who comes in to contact with her thinks she's absolutely normal and incredibly successful.




Just asking.

Lx

I think you are mixing up neurology with mental illness and disability in general.

Both ADHD and autism are neurological disorders, there for neither fall within the typical range of neurological functioning. Neither are neurotypical, both are disabling conditions and yes, many with autism are more impaired life wise but it's just as true that some with adhd are as impaired.



Cerebral palsy is a neurological condition that affects different areas of the brain, it is impairing and disabling, Our impairments stem from different areas affected. Our impairments may not be the same but neuroscience logically speaking we Are neither typical.

Colourblindness, is for one specific function impairing. They are not neurological typical in that one function.

Depression and eating disorders may have nothing to do with neurology and more to do with psychology. So, yes, in that case they would be neurotypical.


One can be disabled and impaired and be neurotypical.


I have very bad knees, and at times this is impairing, yet I still fall withing the typical range of functioning physically. There is always a majority in a range and outliers.

I fall in to many typical ranges in different aspects of health and well being, neurological speaking my functioning is atypical.

There are people who do fall into the typical healthier in every area, will they for their entire lives? Possibly.

[i eat beef stew]

you should be happy he tried at least, instead of him pushing them off till next week.

what happened was he walked in the bathroom with the task in mind, ( add soap to dispenser). opens the cabinet under sink to grab the soap, then he notices that you are almost out of toilet paper, now his mind is racing thinking " is there toilet paper down stairs? does my wife know we are running low? should i call and ask? maybe next time she will by the good stuff? or should i just pretend i didn't notice." at this point he is just got done filling up the dispenser with what he thought was the soap because the color and bottle looked right and he didn't read the label cause his mind was busy thinking about the toilet paper. his mind wont stop racing about the toilet paper until he get distracted about something Else.

at work he knows if i screw this up I'm going to get fired or someones going to get hurt or i will get hurt. so all task at work he focuses hard and if he does get distracted he will simply stop what he is doing until he is focused back on the task at hand.

but he will focus on more important things at home like giving kids medicine or feeding the dog. cause he know this are important, but during boring tasks we will let our minds relax