Can you please explain impulsivity to me??

[Fuzzy12]

I've been told a number of times now on this forum that I do come across as impulsive but I don't really understand why. The way I understand the term is that it means acting without thinking. According to wikipedia:

Impulsivity (or impulsiveness) is a personality trait characterized by the inclination of an individual to initiate behavior without adequate forethought as to the consequences of their actions, acting on the spur of the moment. Eysenck and Eysenck related impulsivity to risk-taking, lack of planning, and making up one's mind quickly ^[1]

Research confirms that impulsivity is not unitary: but has at least three distinct facets ^[6] Some researchers have proposed a 3-factor model according to impulsivity; attentional ("getting easily bored"), motor ("going into action") and executive ("inability to plan") factors. Recent theories^[7] have suggested four aspects of impulsivity:

1. Urgency: the tendency to act immediately.
2. Lack of premeditation; action not organized by a consideration of anticipatable consequences. Example : sex without consideration of pregnancy.
3. Lack of perseverance: failure to follow through on a goal-related task.
4. Sensation-seeking: the experience of positive feelings towards risky actions. Example: skydiving.

I very rarely act without forethought. On the contrary, I overthink everything. I don't display the usual symptoms of impulsivity:

I don't overspend (at least not on expensive items. I can go crazy buying clothes in a sale. My wardrobe is stuffed with clothes that I've never worn and never will. And for a while I kept buying groupon vouchers that I invariably forgot to use. So maybe I just can't resist a good offer??)

I don't blurt out things. On the contrary. Mostly, I'm pretty guarded about what I say. I do say some pretty strange and unconventional stuff but that's just my opinions and I like discussing them. I don't blurt out inappropriate things and then regret it.

I don't make impulsive decisions. I'm actually incapable of making decisions. Though like Ana futura said in another thread, I impulsively race from idea to idea and keep changing my mind, incapable of sticking to just one option, no matter how silly the issue is.

So according to the wiki definition, I don't fulfill point 2 and only partially point 1. I do have a problem with points 3 & 4 though, especially 3.

I am aware of everything I do but then I usually decide to do whatever I want even when I'm fully aware of negative, sub optimal or damaging consequences. The people around me really struggle to understand this. Apparently want isn't a good enough reason to do anything.

I can't control my impulses. I can't control my eating (or starving). I pick my skin, which is known as an "impulse control disorder". I'm fully aware of the damage I'm causing to my skin but I still can't stop doing it. When I really want something, I want it now, irrespective of the consequence (except if I forget about it a few minutes later). If I'm wondering about something, I have to look it up immediately. I can't do any work because every few seconds my mind drifts off to another thought that I can't resist. I hate having something on the tip of my tongue and I keep bugging people to figure out what it is.

I'm incapable of waiting and need instant gratification. And there is a lot of stimulation seeking behaviour. Not necessarily sky diving or physically dangerous activities (though I used to have them when I was younger) but these days I get my kicks elsewhere.

So I do act with forethought but then the forethought or awareness doesn't ultimately affect my actions.

But doesn't this sound as if it's just in the normal range of impulsiveness?

[Flory]

for me its acting without thinking and realising the long term consequences of my actions be it
a)buying something (i have so many different bubble baths, years worth...mac cosmetics is a weak spot of mine spent 100s that i dont have on mac and dior cosmetics) i actually could be going to court if i cant sort out my debt i might be getting a ccj, doing something (throwing my glass at the wall), doing things out of low frustation i.e throwing my cell phone at the floor without thinking of the implications at the time
b)decisions (walking out of a job, literally showing up getting ****** off and walking out),
c)physical like fidgeting, poking prodding and being an annoying ***** to the person next to me, the latest thing is kicking stuff (i get really antsy when im physically inactive) and as an example i was walking through a field and kicking bushes and random sh*t around me out of the blue
d) verbally and emotionally impulsive, quick to anger, crying etc etc...telling people things that i dont wish to disclose by accident, no buffer between brain and speech ( the forums are great because i get to check what i write before i send it..in the real world it all comes out unfiltered ( telling a girl she looked diseased *bad spray tan*) for example didnt go down well .....

my impulsivity is my most destructive facet of my adhd

[Flory]

i am also incredibly impatient...waiting in lines poses a huge problem for me..i remember throwing a wobbly in the bank because i was waiting for so long and being asked to leave i start pacing and tapping, fidgeting whenever there is a time for waiting...

also if i want something i have to do it theres no tomorrow with flory its now now now

[Geno]

Did your parents tell you to "Think about what you say before you say it" a lot when you were a kid? If so, you're probably impulsive.

[Geno]

Originally Posted by Florence1989

i am also incredibly impatient...waiting in lines poses a huge problem for me..i remember throwing a wobbly in the bank because i was waiting for so long and being asked to leave i start pacing and tapping, fidgeting whenever there is a time for waiting...

also if i want something i have to do it theres no tomorrow with flory its now now now

Hahahah, when I was in high school, at lunch, there was always a very long line and no one let anyone cut each other. So I started giving people almost to the front $2 just to let me in there.

[plank80]

If you constantly ask yourself why did I do that or why did I say that then your impulsive.

Anxiety can stop you being as impulsive

[plank80]

Just seen a good post by rockydaydreamer on another thread that explains the anxiety thing.

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by plank80

If you constantly ask yourself why did I do that or why did I say that then your impulsive.

Anxiety can stop you being as impulsive

Yep, regret is a by-product of impulsiveness. I used to have a hard time seeing how impulsive I was. It was much easier for me to see the constant regret.

[Flory]

i get very guilty (contributed towards a lot of depression) about what i had done and said only to go out and do it again

[T-Rex65]

I am also trying to understand how impulsivity manifests with me. I'm impulsive in some ways, but definitely not in others. I have to agree with plank80's suggestion that anxiety can put the brakes on impulsiveness. Unfortunately, it isn't always a clean stop when that happens. Sometimes I feel like I fishtail and move sideways when my anxiety tries to stop my impulsiveness. :-) That happened a lot more often when I was younger. It's a pretty good way to picture what it's like to be an awkward adolescent.

I don't think that blurting out something inappropriate means that I'm not thinking about what I'm going to say before I say it. I do have a filter. It's just that my filter isn't calibrated the same way most peoples' are. And strangely, I think the calibration shifts quite a bit over time. So something I might have said out loud two years ago would horrify me today, or vice versa.

An additional factor is the fear that I'll forget what I have to say, or the conversation may move on to other topics before I can share what I'm thinking. So I may interrupt or interject, and I think maybe I am disturbing the rhythm and flow of the conversation.

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by Florence1989

i get very guilty (contributed towards a lot of depression) about what i had done and said only to go out and do it again

I know exactly what you mean. My actions are so predictable, yet I never learn from my mistakes.

It would tear me up- If I'm truly a "good person", why would I always do and say such awful things?

My actions never came from a place of malice, yet I was so confused by them I started wondering if I was a malicious person.

[rockydaydreamer]

Impulsivity is when you blurt out anything that comes to mind and do things for immediate gratification without really thinking about the cost or consequences.

It's when you do something and then afterwords tell yourself .."what the heck was I thinking?"

[plank80]

Originally Posted by Florence1989

i get very guilty (contributed towards a lot of depression) about what i had done and said only to go out and do it again

So do I. It makes me not trust myself.

I act on negative emotions a lot and then regret it straight away.

Anger problems and impulsiveness dont make a good mix.

[Conman]

i just do things. some things are due to me just wanting to do stupid ****. some i actually consider due to the fact i may get hurt bad, others may get hurt, i may get in big trouble. but i just do stuff period. dont know why

[Drewbacca]

Originally Posted by Geno

Did your parents tell you to "Think about what you say before you say it" a lot when you were a kid? If so, you're probably impulsive.

"choose your battles wisely" also comes to mind...