enough

[nightlife]

I've got one thing to say; despair.

It's something that has lingered with my soul since I was a child. Being able to sense infinite despair. It is the most painful thing to endure in life; nothing is worse than feeling nothing, and nothing is more fearful than losing hope.

I wonder what to do now? It's beyond anhedonia, neglecting all of my life's affairs, arrangements, and obligations without any regard for the consequences. I mean, can it get any worse than this?

I want to live, but I can't seem to move.

[nightlife]

Rather than neglecting, it's more like I haven't been able to. I haven't been able to take care of personal hygiene, federal obligations, and even eating. I've literally gone days upon days living on small amounts of milk, having no desire to eat food of substance. It has occurred for months at a time.

It's hard not being able to eat and knowing that it is something that has the potential to improve life. It's hard when even food that others consider tasty hasn't the ability of attraction whatsoever.

I really don't know what to do.

[sarahsweets]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, I have no words of wisdom just wanted to show some love.

[nightlife]

Your words need not be of wisdom; your presence is in itself enough.

Thanks.

[nightlife]

I'm going to do everything from now on.

I'll move till those habits forge my character, and my character forge my spirit; self-worth and virtue. Self-actualization.. i'll realize it.