No libido at 23 whats wrong??

[Fuzzy12]

Originally Posted by TheChemicals

if you hang around women all the time, the smell of vag will trigger your sexuality.

err... The smell of vagina? can you actually smell that? *worried*

[Cedric88]

First I'd go to the doctor, you never know there is something going on. But probably there is nothing wrong, it's all in the head (no pun intended!).

I've been there, actually never had a real libido problem, I was physically attracted to girls, but "girls" were more like friends to me than really girlfriend-material. I didn't need a girlfriend, didn't need a relationship. Everything was going ok alone, I saw the 'drama' around me from friends with their jealous/cheating/... girlfriend. Didn't have the energy for that. And for the physical part... well what you don't have you don't miss. I couldn't be hurt neither, all win... I did fell in love, did stupid things to get her attention... but never took the step, always stayed on the safe side.

My view on the subject has changed, being alone sucks, and you are a lot stronger together! Took me some time to understand this, that even if you can be hurt, that it takes energy and it sometimes goes with drama... some girls are worth going through fire. But it took me 22 years to understand this (I'm 24 now). Do I now have less experience than most? Yes, but there are a lot of men and women at the same stage in their lives. Does my inexperience makes me scared? Yes! Should I therefore not try? No!

Just start meeting girls, even if you only talk to one every month, it's better than nothing, take your time if you need to. And don't be afraid to tell how you feel! I've heard to much "why didn't you tell me? I was afraid you didn't love me like I did". Three words made me miss a lot! Three words that are the hardest to say. Don't wait to long, it's the recipe to be friendzoned!

We are not all the same, so follow your own path, but sometimes it helps to (be) force(d) a little sometimes.

[naturalremedy]

Just start thinking about your life goals. Do you plan on getting with women? Well if so, then you need to create a system in your daily life, where you have a reason to talk with women, like at store, traveling, walking, sports games, etc. Realize when you are talking with them, that might be an opportunity for you to grow as well as create a network/friend.

Thus, over time, your confidence will grow and then you'll be more on track. And like others said, the more you hang out with them, it will happen naturally.

Another thing is to not think about. I know that is tough at times, bc I'm too young, but I realize it is easier to work on my goals, projects, etc and other things seem to work itself out. Even my desires and such with women. Just do me and get myself on track with life and then the other things like taking the people's advice above in this thread with hanging out with women and what not, now you got yourself some motivation and desire with something going for yourself in life.

[NateDEEzy]

Originally Posted by naturalremedy

Just start thinking about your life goals. Do you plan on getting with women? Well if so, then you need to create a system in your daily life, where you have a reason to talk with women, like at store, traveling, walking, sports games, etc. Realize when you are talking with them, that might be an opportunity for you to grow as well as create a network/friend.

Thus, over time, your confidence will grow and then you'll be more on track. And like others said, the more you hang out with them, it will happen naturally.

Another thing is to not think about. I know that is tough at times, bc I'm too young, but I realize it is easier to work on my goals, projects, etc and other things seem to work itself out. Even my desires and such with women. Just do me and get myself on track with life and then the other things like taking the people's advice above in this thread with hanging out with women and what not, now you got yourself some motivation and desire with something going for yourself in life.

See I dunno if I completely agree with this. I work with many women, and am around them a lot, yet I don't show/have much interest in them, despite many of them showing interest in me. It's kinda like I don't have the drive/motivation/want to put in the effort. I am kinda low energy as is and to imagine being in a relationship is exhausting. I was in a 4 year relationship about 3 years ago, which ended because what I am now finding out seems to possibly be related to my adhd-pi.

[naturalremedy]

I hear what your saying. Well I would then recommend a natural energy supplement of some kind. Perhaps, Kombucha Tea, Energy Green Tea & Ginseng. There are more but these could help if you're looking for energy.

[vanslem6]

Do you drink a lot of coffee? What's your diet like?

I self-diagnosed myself with Adrenal Fatigue over the summer. I was ALWAYS exhausted, and had ZERO interest in ladies - I just wasn't interested at all. When I finally realized it, I was shocked that I hadn't noticed sooner. A long story short, I was drinking loads of coffee (worked 7 days/week over the summer), and only felt awake for about an hour after each cup (I was drinking 4-5 cups/day). Did a little research and figured out that fatigue, as well as well as a low sex-drive can be Adrenal-related. I quit drinking coffee entirely, and after about a week or so, things began to go back to normal.

I don't think it's psychological, however, I'm not a doctor. Best of luck!

[TheChemicals]

Originally Posted by vanslem6

Do you drink a lot of coffee? What's your diet like?

I self-diagnosed myself with Adrenal Fatigue over the summer. I was ALWAYS exhausted, and had ZERO interest in ladies - I just wasn't interested at all. When I finally realized it, I was shocked that I hadn't noticed sooner. A long story short, I was drinking loads of coffee (worked 7 days/week over the summer), and only felt awake for about an hour after each cup (I was drinking 4-5 cups/day). Did a little research and figured out that fatigue, as well as well as a low sex-drive can be Adrenal-related. I quit drinking coffee entirely, and after about a week or so, things began to go back to normal.

I don't think it's psychological, however, I'm not a doctor. Best of luck!

Coffee or caffeine? Wow i dont know how life would be without caffeine.

[vanslem6]

The caffeine in coffee, of course.

[Subtract81]

Where guys are concerned i think it is common knowledge that anxiety plays a HUGE role in libido, and people with ADD suffer from that more than most.

ADD->anxiety->depression->tiredness- and repeat... I think it may be a vicious cycle and one i have also been trapped in.

OP do you find yourself able to get off when you have no source of anxiety?

[TheChemicals]

Damn....so no soda, coffee, redbull..... anything good.

[NateDEEzy]

Where's the OP'er?

[eddie5656]

I'm not saying there's anything necessarily wrong with having a low libido at your age but chances are, if you miss your libido, then there's a "problem," that is lowering it. Have you tried looking at gay porn? seriously, maybe you swing both ways and need a little change. There's nothing wrong with that, it's 2012 man.

Furthermore, I don't know how long its been since you've gotten any but maybe it's been long enough that you've forgotten how great it is. I mean, I know you obviously can't forget, but you can sub-consciously. Go get yourself a freak and bust a nut in her/his eye, see if that helps.

Jacked her then I asked her who's the man; she said B-I-G, then I bust in her E-Y-E

Worked for Biggie... all I'm saying.

[PoppnNSailinMan]

Are you on any meds that could be causing lack of libido? Many antidepressants reduce libido and even stimulants can cause problems.

[Geno]

I've never been on SSRIs/antidepressants that are known for causing this but I'm 19 and also have next to no sex drive these days thanks to my synthetic cannabinoid abuse(stopped 11 months ago and still having problems). Having a girlfriend doesn't fix this. The ONLY thing that brings it back to where it was for a few hours are stimulants. When I'm not it's very rare sex interests me.

[PoppnNSailinMan]

Originally Posted by Geno

I've never been on SSRIs/antidepressants that are known for causing this

I've been reading the book Unhinged: The Trouble with Psychiatry - A Doctor's Revelations about a Profession in Crisis by Dr. Daniel Carlat, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine, and according to him:

The most common side effect of SSRIs is a deadening of patients' sexual lives. Both men and women experience a spectrum of problems, including lowered sex drive, a sense of numbness when performing sex, and an inability to achieve orgasm. In men, erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation are common. Just how common are these side effects? When SSRIs were first released, we had no idea there were problems at all. The official guide to medications, the PDR, initially reported that Prozac's rate of causing sexual dysfunction was only 1.9 percent, and several studies thereafter estimated a rate of about 10 percent for SSRIs in general.

These turned out to be wildly inaccurate estimates. The early studies assessed sexual side effects only by waiting for patients to bring the problem up spontaneously, which many were apparently reluctant to do. More recent studies, in which patients were asked specifically about the problem, have reported rates of sexual dysfunction ranging from about 20 percent for the non-SSRI medication Wellbutrin to rates of as high as 70 percent for the SSRIs Celexa and Paxil.

We still don't know why these medications cause sexual problems, although most researchers believe the problem is connected to the effects of serotonin. Viagra, along with its more recent cousins Levitra and Cialis, can counteract problems to some extent, but they can only enhance erections and clitoral blood flow; they cannot improve that basic engine of sex, libido. Some of my patients find SSRIs so helpful that they gladly choose relief from depression over having a sex life, but others are less willing to make this trade off. Complicating the issue are recent case reports of patients who continue to have sexual problems even after SSRIs have been discontinued. Are we creating a world of blissful people who are asexual? It is a worrisome possibility.