What the heck is ADHD really??

[SquarePeg]

Well my son 13 and has ADHD and it has made me really think what exactly is ADHD and is it only a problem in our society because of the way it´s structured and kids are taught.

My son learns well when using a mixture of reading, listening and more important visual aids. He is very much a visual and practical learner. He watches national geographic and remembers so much.

As school processes it´s all about books books books, concentrating and studying and remembering what has been read and he doesn´t processes written information so well.

My husband and 3 of his brothers have learning disabilities, dyslexia or adhd. they were labelled stupid and lazy at school and don´t have a single school qualification between them. Yet they are all useful functioning members of society, with their own businesses and doing very well.

There so many unwritten social rules to follow that people are made to feel different if they are not exactly like the rest. Why do we all have to be the same, sociable, touchy feely, interact and follow these "rules". Why can´t we be hermits, loners (doesn´t mean lonely) and do whatever we want. yeah I understand society has to have some rules.

But like where did the rule, for example, appear that men can´t wear dresses and make up. It only makes people uncomfortable because it´s not the way of our society at the moment.

I mean, we´re born, have to grow up and learn to follow the particular rules of society in which we live, go to school and obtain academic qualifications. Go to work, meet a partner, have kids and start all over again. No deviation from the program, no turning left cos it´s not in the rule book.

There´s no easy way to opt out of society.

Do you ever imagine what your life would be like if you were brought up in a completely different society. Would ADHD be such an issue then or even exist. What about in the future, I think learning will be done in a much more interactive and visual way, a lot of it outside the classroom. IT will defo happen one day Will ADHD be an issue then?

My son has always been so happy living in his own world, he can be sociable he has many friends, but he loves his own little world. kids are carefree and happy for such a short time and I have cut that time short by forcing him to fit in the academic world.

I´m aware I am ranting

[amberwillow]

Rant away!

I'm guessing that you may be in the grieving stage of diagnosis.

Yes, it bites.

I remember my sadness when I realized that my son only felt 'normal' when he was in a room alone.

Our family is pretty sparky, happy and chaotic... But when it has to fit in with mainstream schooling... Disaster!

[SquarePeg]

Thanks, yes I suppose your right, but I have been here before, during my 20s when I had therapy for depression, all I wanted to do was opt out of society for a few years, but society doesn´t let you back in, gotta keep up with the rat race. good luck to you and your family.

[sarahsweets]

As far as adhd being something we recognize more here I just think that maybe other places dont have a name for the same symptoms. For years in the US and other places kids with adhd were labeled slow,hyper,stupid, lazt=y, bad etc. That may still be the case in other places.

[Lunacie]

Well, I don't know if it's a rule of society that one must pay their bills

but that's one of the biggest struggles for me, getting my bills paid on time.

Also keeping my checking account straight. I'm allowed 4 electronic

overdrafts a month before they begin charging me for an overdraft.

In August I had 3 overdrafts I was charged for - quite a bit of money

gone now that I could have spent on an oil change for instance or a meds refill.

[Targaryen]

Good post Linda,

I think about this a lot.

When I was in elementary school I was in a gifted program with just a few other students that was taught by a very eccentric women and learned so much, the program was unconventional to say the least. Lots of hands on learning.

I learn a lot more by seeing or doing and have often thought about how I would benefit from some type of apprenticeship program but I don't believe society really does that anymore.

I always picture how artists used to go work under a master artist for years and learn by actually doing instead of having to sit in a class room reading. Then once the student had become proficient they would become a master and leave the school.....wishful thinking.

[Geno]

Yes, America has a very bad education system, no, that is not the cause of ADHD. ADHD just makes the bad education system even worse for you, and ADHD causes impairments in ALL areas of my life, not just school/work issues.

[Ms. Mango]

I think about my maternal grandfather because DS's behavior reminds me of him. My grandfather was never diagnosed with anything; if he were alive today he'd be over 100, so it was a different time.

I never knew what was "wrong" with my grandfather until I saw some of the same behaviors in DS. This was a man with (allegedly) an IQ of 160 who could barely hold a job of any kind. My mother told me when she was a child he used to get milk for her and her brother by stealing it off the neighbors' doorsteps. That's how broke they were.

He finally had a great idea and started his own business. But, he couldn't follow through with it so, like everything else in his life, he just gave up on it. He sold the business to two guys who turned it into a multi-million dollar, nationwide operation that is still going today.

He was so hyper he looked like he was going to jump out of his own skin. Couldn't stop moving--even when I knew him. Ever see a hyperactive 80 yo?

If you just met him you'd think he was a lively, funny old guy. But if you got to know him you'd avoid him at all costs. He drove everyone in his life away. He never had a friend in all the time I knew him and my mother confirms that, as far as she knew, he never socialized with others during her childhood either. He had no ability to sustain a relationship.

He led a miserable life, when he died only my mother and grandmother were at the grave. His sisters weren't even there as he pushed them away decades before.

Thank goodness we live now! My son can get help and history doesn't have to repeat itself.

If we lived at a different time or place I wouldn't hold much hope for my DS's future.

[SquarePeg]

I realise that adhd affects different people in varying ways, and can be more debilitating for some people than others.

Unlike your poor grandfather, my son is very happy in his own little world, he has friends and is very sociable and he loves his taekwondo and is very good at it. But also loves to do his own thing for days on end and invent stuff.

His problem is mainly attention and being able to focus and process information so he´s having a hard time with the way he is being taught at school. School caters for the way in which the majority learn, it´s doesn´t suit everyone.

glad your son is getting the help he needs.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by LindaGreen

I realise that adhd affects different people in varying ways, and can be more debilitating for some people than others.

Unlike your poor grandfather, my son is very happy in his own little world, he has friends and is very sociable and he loves his taekwondo and is very good at it. But also loves to do his own thing for days on end and invent stuff.

His problem is mainly attention and being able to focus and process information so he´s having a hard time with the way he is being taught at school. School caters for the way in which the majority learn, it´s doesn´t suit everyone.

glad your son is getting the help he needs.

I was pretty happy in my own little world as a child too, mostly reading books.

I tried to play with the kids in my neighborhood or from school, and never felt

accepted unless I was playing with kids a few years younger than myself.

Looking back at some of my old report cards (the ones that survived the tornado)

the teachers could see there were problems but didn't know why ...

or what to do to help me.

And here I am, all grown up, and still having problems with authoritarian figures,

and fitting in, and doing homework/paying bills.

I'm very proud that I've kept a job for almost 6 years ... but that said

I only work one day a week and I work all by myself (cleaning a salon).

So I'm still in my own little world I guess.

[Codykins]

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinso...reativity.html

Ken Robinson is a great speaker on this subject. I've attended two events with him speaking. Wonderful!

[SquarePeg]

Originally Posted by Codykins

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinso...reativity.html

Ken Robinson is a great speaker on this subject. I've attended two events with him speaking. Wonderful!

Thanks so much for this link, just watched it and thought "wow".