Why Change? With ADHD, Your Brilliant

[sarahsweets]

I don't understand why people just can't embrace these attributes as part of who they are and not because they have adhd. Adhd does not make anyone anything they wouldn't be anyway.

[Amtram]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12

Sigh, I sure would love the ability though to express myself concisely and briefly.

I know what you're saying. I hate realizing later that I've been redundant and repetitive again, too.

[Drewbacca]

This entire thread could be summed up in a paragraph or two... Then again, so could the other 100+ similar threads.

See? I just added more unhelpful information.

[Zevispaz]

I've been thinking on this thread for a bit, and I think I finally know how to say what I want to say.

So I will tell you all the story of my friend who was born with only one arm.

She was born with one arm in a world that was made for people with two arms. Some people would be dismayed with having only one arm, and understandably so. There's all sorts of simple things that we take for granted being appendageably blessed. Things like: Squeezing the shampoo out of the bottle and onto your hand, rock climbing, holding your books and opening the door at the same time, playing on the monkey bars, driving. I could go on, but you get the point. These things are not easy for a person with one arm. Some things are just down right impossible, like those classroom pencil sharpeners that you have to hold your pencil in and turn the handle at the same time.

But being the clever girl she is, she found ways around most of these problems. She would squeeze the shampoo with her body onto her hand, use her knee to hold the steering wheel so she could signal while she drove, etc... She chose not to use a prosthetic arm because she could do just as well without it, and quite frankly it was clunky. The point is, she did not let her disability stop her from what she wanted to do. But that's not the point of this story.

Because she had one arm, she had to think about the world slightly differently than a person with two arms would. A person with two arms would simply grab a cafeteria tray, and walk back to their table. She would think about how to distribute the weight of the items and then press the tray to her body, and keep the right balance and posture while she walked back, and further keep that posture while she squatted down to slide the tray onto the table. Not once did she drop her tray or spill anything. It was pretty impressive.

She had all sorts of clever ways to get around different obstacles. She had to think differently because of her disability. Had she two arms she would not be thinking of those problems in a different light.

Were she a less clever girl, she may not have done so well. But she was pretty brilliant, so we'll stick with that. But that doesn't mean having one arm is a gift, or that it made her more intelligent, or even more creative. Instead, having one arm made it so that she had to use the creativity she already had to think of a solution. Having one arm made her use the resources she already had to think of a different way around a problem. If she was born with two arms, she would have that same intelligence and that same creativity.

The same goes for ADHD. People with ADHD are born with a bit of a brain disability, which requires them to think of ways around problems that other people may not have. For instance if a person can't do math, they may work around that by going into a field that doesn't need it such as art or writing. A person that needs to move around alot may work around that by becoming a martial arts instructor.

Yes, having ADHD may cause a person to have to think differently for certain everyday obstacles, and in doing so may cause them to come up with a different and clever solution to a problem. But that doesn't mean that ADHD caused the creativity, but rather forced a person to use that creativity they already had to begin with. ADHD just makes a person think differently. Different is neither good nor bad. In fact being different can be both simultaneously.

Had I been born without ADHD I would have been just as creative and smart. But I was born with ADHD and so I have to use the creativity and intelligence I was born with to work around certain problems.

Just as no one would fault my friend for using a prosthetic arm, I don't think anyone would fault someone with ADHD for using meds. Likewise, not using a prosthetic arm is a personal choice, some can do it, some can't. It doesn't make a person any better or worse than another person. But that doesn't mean everyone with one arm can function like my friend did without some assistance. Same goes for ADHD and meds.

I personally choose to use meds to give me some assistance. Doesn't mean people who don't are wrong.

The End.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12

Sigh, I sure would love the ability though to express myself concisely and briefly.

Never wish that Fuzzy. Your words would never have the same impact they are having. I like seeing you think in your sentences. It's like you're learning through these long descriptions while teaching us too.
Or not.
But I like these long descriptions you do.
Although even your concise description of 'innovative thinking' got the message home.

I'm having difficulty constructing my thoughts into those things...sentences. Clear sentences. It's not happening today.

I'm the same way with coming up with ideas. I've got about five ideas for blogs now. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. Like today my idea was so complex I didn't know how to put it in a single paragraph, but I got there eventually.

There's no harm in seeing something as both negative or positive, or if someone does better thinking about it in a positive way, then they can. People hate being told they're wrong, which is quite ironic because isn't that why poor Joe was jumped on to begin with?

As much as I love what Zevispaz said having one arm is different than taking advantage of ADHD symptoms. It makes it easier to squeeze under a fence though.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I don't understand why people just can't embrace these attributes as part of who they are and not because they have adhd. Adhd does not make anyone anything they wouldn't be anyway.

Because it offers them some hope. Some people do better with seeing it as a positive thing than negative. I'm not one of them. Well not completely.

If I didn't ADHD I would be have just autism and might even be even more impaired by it. I wouldn't be impulsive so would probably be cautious with my words. I'd be stuck in one interest. ADHD gets me out of my routine from time to time and gets me interested in more things.

So that whole 'without ADHD you wouldn't be any different anyway' doesn't work on me. ADHD is like having a vacation from my autistic issues.

What I don't understand is why people aren't allowed to see it another way? And if they are - great - but from what you've been saying you're making it sound like they shouldn't think of it any other way. Not long ago I would agree because I usually see a disorder as the diagnostic criteria and nothing else. But I've taken advantage of most of my disorders except for seizures, but even hypoglycaemia can bring a sudden end to unwanted hyperfocus. I even work with anxiety for motivation.

You might think I'm mad for seeing those conditions in that way, but, I am mad.

[hanikamiya]

Originally Posted by fracturedstory

Because it offers them some hope. Some people do better with seeing it as a positive thing than negative. I'm not one of them. Well not completely.

[...]

So that whole 'without ADHD you wouldn't be any different anyway' doesn't work on me. ADHD is like having a vacation from my autistic issues.

What I don't understand is why people aren't allowed to see it another way?

I understand your point of view, and frankly - I myself don't believe I would not be a different person had I not those imbalances in my brain. I would be a different person. I would have made different experiences, and those would have shaped me. I would not have trained myself to do certain things or think in certain ways because it hadn't been necessary.

But I see an entirely different problem in seeing one's condition as a blessing instead of a curse. It means that you just replace the negative affirmation with a positive one, and that can happen the other way around just as easily. It doesn't result in a stable sense of identity.

If I think like that, I will end up thinking of my condition as a 'blessing' when I'm alright, and as a 'curse' when I'm down. And that will make it much harder to come up with more novel ways to deal with new (or old) challenges, because my idea of what I can do won't be consistent in itself. (Or rather, even less than it already is.)

That's why I want to see this condition(s), be it ADHD or something else, as something that is not part of my core self. It's a factor that influences my behaviour, yes. But it's not 'me'.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by JoeB

Oral tests, such as IQ tests for example, are tough for the ADHD as well. We require a lot of thought. Our brain gets distracted easy. So, tests are very hard for us to do as it is. But oral tests? These are normally timed and close to impossible for us to do and make a good grade on even if we know the material.

I have ADHD, and tests are generally not hard for me. I normally ace tests. Not all ADHDers have problems with tests.

My point being, it's very difficult to make any sweeping generalizations about people with ADHD that actually apply to every case.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by hanikamiya

I understand your point of view, and frankly - I myself don't believe I would not be a different person had I not those imbalances in my brain. I would be a different person. I would have made different experiences, and those would have shaped me. I would not have trained myself to do certain things or think in certain ways because it hadn't been necessary.

But I see an entirely different problem in seeing one's condition as a blessing instead of a curse. It means that you just replace the negative affirmation with a positive one, and that can happen the other way around just as easily. It doesn't result in a stable sense of identity.

If I think like that, I will end up thinking of my condition as a 'blessing' when I'm alright, and as a 'curse' when I'm down. And that will make it much harder to come up with more novel ways to deal with new (or old) challenges, because my idea of what I can do won't be consistent in itself. (Or rather, even less than it already is.)

That's why I want to see this condition(s), be it ADHD or something else, as something that is not part of my core self. It's a factor that influences my behaviour, yes. But it's not 'me'.

Well that's good as long as it helps.
There are some traps in being just positive. One, you don't weigh all options or possible outcomes. But being too negative might make it too hard to even want to try. Learned helplessness. You can be blinded by both of them.
That's why I like to see a balance. To me taking advantage of ADHD symptoms is like taking advantage of a bad living situation. You hate having to live each day where you are for whatever reason. Maybe it's the people. Maybe you just hate your town, your job, your finances. But you can't get out of it so you may as well make it work for you. Actually I'm in that situation too. I hate the city. I hate the noise, the crowds, the crime and even the stale air.

It's hard for me to separate ADHD from my personality; it's damn near impossible to separate myself from autism. The many times I've tried to I've just found things more stressful. It's different in autism; instead of lessening the symptoms you utilise them. I suppose that's why I do it with ADHD.

[Fuzzy12]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I don't understand why people just can't embrace these attributes as part of who they are and not because they have adhd. Adhd does not make anyone anything they wouldn't be anyway.

I'm not sure about that Sarah. I think, we'd all be very different if it wasn't for our various mental health disorders. In fact I think that everything makes a difference. Every tiny little experience, every tiny little tweak in our genetics, etc. impact who and how we are. Whatever I experience today will shape the me of tomorrow to an extent.

In particular, with ADHD, which is supposed to affect you from birth I can see how it could make a huge difference in shaping your personality. It is difficult to see though how ADHD symptoms might have affected you and I guess, it's impossible to know what kind of person you'd have been without ADHD.

[Lunacie]

Originally Posted by Zevispaz

I've been thinking on this thread for a bit, and I think I finally know how to say what I want to say.

So I will tell you all the story of my friend who was born with only one arm.

>> really excellent storytelling <<

The End.

Thank you Zevispaz!

[KCTang]

I agree very much with everything Hanikamiya said in the post above, the best part being this:

Originally Posted by hanikamiya

...That's why I want to see this condition(s), be it ADHD or something else, as something that is not part of my core self. It's a factor that influences my behaviour, yes. But it's not 'me'.

There's a problem that comes with identifying ourselves as 'ADHDers' I believe.

It hinders us from separating ourselves from the problem. We lose that necessary distance and it becomes easy to think 'this is always the way things are going to be' because it's now part of our self-identity. We might stop looking for solutions or mechanisms to help cope.

I am a person, who ~has~ ADHD, not an ADHD person. It may have a giant hand in shaping my life and my daily & overall problems, but it still does not define me.

I am an individual, first, and ADHD is just a trait I have.

Control of myself may be difficult but I still don't relinquish that control to 'ADHD', no matter how hard the struggle...

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12

It is difficult to see though how ADHD symptoms might have affected you and I guess, it's impossible to know what kind of person you'd have been without ADHD.

This is very true. It's become to me almost a chicken-or-the-egg question that nobody's ever really going to be able to answer anyway. LOL.

[hanikamiya]

Originally Posted by fracturedstory

It's hard for me to separate ADHD from my personality; it's damn near impossible to separate myself from autism. The many times I've tried to I've just found things more stressful. It's different in autism; instead of lessening the symptoms you utilise them. I suppose that's why I do it with ADHD.

My idea of my 'personality' isn't a long detailed story. It's more like:
"I like books. I like cats. I like to laugh. I don't like noise." Those things are always true, and they are my link to remembering how I feel when I like books, and so how I feel as 'being myself'.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by hanikamiya

My idea of my 'personality' isn't a long detailed story. It's more like:
"I like books. I like cats. I like to laugh. I don't like noise." Those things are always true, and they are my link to remembering how I feel when I like books, and so how I feel as 'being myself'.

I see personality as certain behavioural traits, or learning styles, or decision making skills.

Personality is dependent on genes and environment. And I've got two neurological disorders that are caused by gene mutations. Well, one is, jury is still out with ADHD.

I found out today in a journal of Science that autism is caused by a mis-wiring of synapses, so we really do think differently. It's no wonder that we have to make our own model of the world to better understand it. Although I don't always see this as a bad thing.

Originally Posted by KCTang

I agree very much with everything Hanikamiya said in the post above, the best part being this:




There's a problem that comes with identifying ourselves as 'ADHDers' I believe.

It hinders us from separating ourselves from the problem. We lose that necessary distance and it becomes easy to think 'this is always the way things are going to be' because it's now part of our self-identity. We might stop looking for solutions or mechanisms to help cope.

I am a person, who ~has~ ADHD, not an ADHD person. It may have a giant hand in shaping my life and my daily & overall problems, but it still does not define me.

I am an individual, first, and ADHD is just a trait I have.

Control of myself may be difficult but I still don't relinquish that control to 'ADHD', no matter how hard the struggle...

Nah, I'm ADHD. I like being different from people. I don't even like to think of myself as human. Why would I want to be like those 'hoomans?'