How do They DO That ????????

[Dana K]

Believe it or not, it's actually not that hard to have your life clean & orderly (and I admit, mine often ISN'T). It's just a matter of having tiny little jobs built into a daily routine. Like one poster said, Marla Cilley (www.FlyLady.net) has a super program on her site that I've found really helpful.

It's hard for me to establish a routine, and easy to get knocked off when life interrupts. But when I DO follow a simple routine (about 1/2 hour per day), my life amazingly takes care of itself.

For example, it's a routine for most of us to brush our teeth twice a day. Someone who didn't do that might say, "How do they manage to have such clean, healthy teeth?" Well, it's not a huge chore to spend a minute in the morning and a minute at night every day. But to do it once a year - scrape & power-wash & whatever it took to clean them - the job would be overwhelming.

Likewise, my car. In the past, it's often become one huge, giant purse. Overfilled with papers, food containers, bags, blah blah blah. I mucked it out one day, took it for a $20 wash/wax/vac (one where it's done FOR me, 'cuz I never would) and it looked great. Now my rule is to take everything out of my car, every time I get home at night. And I run it through the same $20 wash once a month.

It's doing the little stuff that adds up, not waiting until it's big stuff that's overwhelming to do. Not that it's easy for me; I'm 48 years old and still trying to get myself together!

Oh - and the trick is to get the "little stuff" into a routine or regular schedule, so there's already a time & place that it's taken care of.

[Joker_Girl]

i have actually thought about hiring someone to clean, especially when i am super busy at both jobs. From the first of November through mid January, we are so busy I have to take time off from my part time job and focus only on our family business, where i am likely to spend 8-15 hours a day, 6 or 7 days a week. Generally during that time, the house falls into disarray, but this year it should be better with the kids out of the house. I need to make sure right before the busy time hits, I have everything caught up so when i come home i can just collapse in a heap on the couch. I am always going to make casseroles and meals ahead so they just have to be thawed and heated up, but i can't get it together and i can't stand the delayed gratification.....if i am going to go to enough trouble to make lasagna, we are eating it TODAY.

There are two reasons i dont want to hire a cleaner....for one, if i hire a maid, does that make me some fancy socialite or something? Somehow, if i hire someone to do my "icky" tasks, it is like i am saying my time is more valuable than theirs or something, like i am "better". I dont know. Alot of the schoolteachers and nurses and doctors here hire cleaning help, in fact i have heard discussions at the hospital about it, but i just can't bring myself to do it. I am not sure why. Hopefully with the kids gone i can keep it cleaner by myself. Most of the ones who have housekeepers here, i dont even know why. They have plenty of time, they are always going shopping and getting manicures and pedicures and their hair highlighted (which i need my hair done BAD, i am seeing a LOT of gray in places!). If i had that much time i could keep my own house up. I dont know if i would though, i would probably not spend time getting manicures, but rather on dumb projects like making hundreds of cookies for no reason or painting a dresser i found in the garage.

Another thing is i am embarrassed when it is dirty and i would almost need to clean it before i had the cleaning lady over.....which kind of defeats the purpose. There are certain things i just couldnt have them do....like my wash....its embarrassing.....i can't have someone be looking at my underwear.

What i MIGHT hire someone to do, if i felt i could afford it, which i am not sure what it costs.....would be to hire a landscaper. I absolutely LOVE a beautifully landscaped yard and garden....and i SUCK at it.

[stef]

Originally Posted by Joker_Girl

i have actually thought about hiring someone to clean, especially when i am super busy at both jobs. From the first of November through mid January, we are so busy I have to take time off from my part time job and focus only on our family business, where i am likely to spend 8-15 hours a day, 6 or 7 days a week. Generally during that time, the house falls into disarray, but this year it should be better with the kids out of the house. I need to make sure right before the busy time hits, I have everything caught up so when i come home i can just collapse in a heap on the couch. I am always going to make casseroles and meals ahead so they just have to be thawed and heated up, but i can't get it together and i can't stand the delayed gratification.....if i am going to go to enough trouble to make lasagna, we are eating it TODAY.

There are two reasons i dont want to hire a cleaner....for one, if i hire a maid, does that make me some fancy socialite or something? Somehow, if i hire someone to do my "icky" tasks, it is like i am saying my time is more valuable than theirs or something, like i am "better". I dont know. Alot of the schoolteachers and nurses and doctors here hire cleaning help, in fact i have heard discussions at the hospital about it, but i just can't bring myself to do it. I am not sure why. Hopefully with the kids gone i can keep it cleaner by myself. Most of the ones who have housekeepers here, i dont even know why. They have plenty of time, they are always going shopping and getting manicures and pedicures and their hair highlighted (which i need my hair done BAD, i am seeing a LOT of gray in places!). If i had that much time i could keep my own house up. I dont know if i would though, i would probably not spend time getting manicures, but rather on dumb projects like making hundreds of cookies for no reason or painting a dresser i found in the garage.

Another thing is i am embarrassed when it is dirty and i would almost need to clean it before i had the cleaning lady over.....which kind of defeats the purpose. There are certain things i just couldnt have them do....like my wash....its embarrassing.....i can't have someone be looking at my underwear.

What i MIGHT hire someone to do, if i felt i could afford it, which i am not sure what it costs.....would be to hire a landscaper. I absolutely LOVE a beautifully landscaped yard and garden....and i SUCK at it.

I totally agree with everything you've said!
also my husband doesnt want a stranger coming into our home (he's got a point)

my mom has a cleaning lady come in once a week but she's employed by the residence
also she's over 70 so that seems fair! and she's naturally neat so it's not embarassing to have someone come into her apartment.

the cleaning lady came when we were visiting, wow was it nice to go out for an hour, and come back to a spotless home.

LOL about preparing meals and instant gratification. No way am I cooking on Sunday and not eating it the same day!

[ADDinHDefgHi?!]

They do it because that's what they were told to do and they follow instructions better than us? Or they care about how others perceive them more?

I often have wondered the same thing, but then I started to wonder WHY would they want to have such a big house and so many cars? That's way too much crap for me to think about, I mean just maintaining the house and the cars and making the payments on them is more than I want to have to think about.

I like to live simply, ideally I'd have a studio apartment but I'm just renting a room. I keep my car clean about half the time. It really ties into how much I'm working and my mood level, I prefer to drive a clean car and I swear it runs better when it's clean.

One of the ways I deal with my ADHD is by keeping my possessions down to the bare minimum. Makes it easy to organize. Cleaning is another story though, doesn't happen as often as it should.

I do remember when I was first put on stimulants (the honeymoon phase) and I was standing in line at vons and I thought to myself "This is how they do it! They're either all on uppers or have a more balanced brain chemistry..."

If I had enough money for a house I'd hire someone to clean it regularly.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by salleh

....I find myself driving around sometimes, and I look at the house, and they're all nicely cared for, and their cars are clean, and sometimes you can even see in the windows...and I see neat and clean .....

....Now, their lives maybe s*** and the people in that house may not be able to stand each other ....but probably most people live with who they choose to because they want to be there....but that's not the issue here....

...What I want to know .is .....


How the h*** do they do that ??????

ok it's not my house ....but my room is an even bigger mess than usual ....I have too much stuff for one room ..and that's all the room I have ....but I live and run a business out of the same room ....chaos WILL happen.....


...but cars, ....I drive a old piece of s***, not only does it need a wash, but my passenger side mirror is missing ( roommate knocked it off years ago while I was out of town....he drove too close to the building)

....and my drivers side mirror is held on by duct tape ! ....

and there's always stuff piled up in the car ....when you don't usually have a passenger, it makes it even harder to take stuff out of the car ....having a place to put that stuff in the house makes a big difference too.....


how do these people take care of just the business of having nice cars, a nice house and clean rooms????? plus all the other things you need to do everyday, or once a week or twice a year or whatever in order to get along in this complex society of ours.....

LOL! I love how much of your story echoes mine!

My favorite is when somebody asks me why I carry so much stuff in my car. Well, what in the world could be more natural and logical when you basically have one room to put your whole life in? Your car is going to become an extension of the room.

And passengers....if somebody needs to catch a ride with me, they need to submit their request at least 24 hours in advance. It's not like I can just open the door and say hop in!

And I do try to clean out the car, but every time I do, I end up thinking I might need each item just in case and nothing but actual garbage ends up coming out.

[spunkysmum]

Originally Posted by Dana K

Believe it or not, it's actually not that hard to have your life clean & orderly (and I admit, mine often ISN'T). It's just a matter of having tiny little jobs built into a daily routine.

.......nah, it actually pretty much IS that hard. LOL.

[ADHDTigger]

Sals, I truly don't know.

I park my truck in the garage and keep the blinds low. My MIL is joining me for an appointment tomorrow and I am terrified to let her into my house. The reality isn't pretty.

I've tried to hire a housekeeper several times. I paid out a ton of $$$ but never once had a result that was worth paying for. Now I just keep my house sealed tight against the outside world.

Do all those folks have it so good... or even better?

Dunno.

ADHDers constantly try to fit 10 pounds of stuff into a 2 pound shoebox. In general, we have a tough time understanding the size and mass of our "stuff".

It's similar to our tendency to misunderstand clocks and time.

The rest of the world isn't wound up better than you or me. The difference is appearances.

[tudorose]

I don't know Salleh. I can't even present myself in such a way that I don't look like a scruff. I often wonder how all the other women at work can make themselves look so perfect when I know I couldn't even do it if I tried.

[salleh]

OMG ! ...Tudorose.......that's me too ! .....even years before my diagnosis.....my family would get ready to go somewhere .....Mom and Katy would step out looking fabulous, ( well it helped that they were both beautiful women, whereas the best I could ever do was "kinda cute")

and then there was me .....something was always not quite right .....I'd put thought into what I was wearing, and my hair and stuff, but it never quite lived up to what I had seen in my mind's eye .......reality never lived up to the imgination .....


being a hippie was better, but even those had style ....

I have long since given up on trying to be stylish .....now it's hawaiin shirts, black bicycle shorts, and tennies with slouch socks for summer, and that's pretty much ALL I wear, I have one or 2 black shirts.....

[salleh]

Not to mention almost everything I own has a least ONE spot of paint on it somewhere!......

[peripatetic]

i don't collect things. i can't say my house is spotless...at all...and i don't own a car after having license cancelled...and the yard thing isn't applicable because of where i live...but i don't have clutter. i do just throw **** out without regard to needing it or not...quite often...though. i just gut things. i hit some snapping point and it's like....EVERYTHIGN's going. then my partner comes home and kinda freaks out becausee we no longer have...anything in closets...or...who konws what/where. if i'm in a room...i will gut it if i have to stay there as the bombardment from things just overwhelms me.

[ginniebean]

I know exactly how it's done, I just can't do it. I mean, there's this thing where you can't have it all and that's just the case. I lived with my NT sis and brother in law and

Laundry was done 1st thing in the morning on monday and thursday, vacumming and dusting was done daily, sweeping as well, dishes are put in dishwasher as soon as the meal was done, things were wiped upand put away immediately.

The things under the burners of the stove they washed those too!

Tuesday and saturday wash floors, clean mirrors, water plants (those that needed it) organize cupboards,

Wednesday baking, dusting, vacumming,

Bathtubs are cleaned and squeegeed after each use. Bathroom fixtures buffed daily.

Lawn and snow removal as needed but always right away.

500$ set aside every six months for vehicle maintenance, vehicles washed 2x a month, and vacummed out at the same time.

small garbage tin in each vehicle and all garbage removed upon exiting the car upon return home. New bag put in.

In order to keep this schedule up I'd need a wife.



On wednesday and saturday bathrooms were cleaned, decluttering done and filing of bills that were paid during the week, shopping etc.. it just was anunending daily grind of work

[peripatetic]

holy ****! that's a substantial amount of work just remembering the schedule my "just gut it" tactic is far less complex

[SquarePeg]

ok ladies, let´s start on a much smaller scale, what´s the state of your purse??

Mine, well when it overflows with receipts, lipsticks, coins, fluff, business cards, pens tampons, odd cigarettes, sweets and other stuff, I go out and buy a new purse and throw the old one in a cupboard somewhere!!

[Lunacie]

I stopped carrying a purse years and years ago.

I left too many in restaurants and grocery carts.

Really the reason was a bad back.

My cell phone and cloth face mask go in front left pocket of jeans.

Wallet and chapstick go in right front pocket of jeans.

Receipts tend to collect in the console between the front seats of my car.

Every so often I throw them all out.

If I've had fast food in the car, I throw the trash in the poly cart

as I get out of the car, they park next to each other.

I don't check the backseat very often.

That's where most stuff accumulates from the grandkids riding back there.

I haven't gone through a car wash in a year maybe,

just can't spend the money on that these days.

The dust is so thick on everything inside the car you can write you name in it.