Can I measure how much ADHD is a gift?

[hockeyguy]

ADHD has caused me academic trouble all through school (although now in college I have a 3.8 gpa). It has caused the demise of my marriage. I have very few real friends. I am unable to get stuff done that needs to be done. I make people uncomfortable by throwing out random thoughts. I am unable to make decisions because my brain becomes cloudy and unable to process thoughts.
I don't see how any of this can be considered a gift. Until I learn to "take charge" as Dr Barkley says, for me this is 100% a hindrance.

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by meadd823

The same traits can be both a positive and a negative depending. You are the same person with the same trait what changes is your perspective / environment NOT the trait itself...

We are all different, but different does not equate to wrong or inferior. The personal experiences of being ADHD has nothing what so ever to do with clinical studies. Perceptions of the effects of living a life with ADHD is as diverse as the individuals living it.

Excellent post meadd. These gift/ curse threads always irritate me. It's not about that. It's about how YOU perceive YOUR disorder. Personally, I think an ounce of delusion is healthy. Does that make me any less impaired by ADHD than anyone else? No, it merely means my outlook is different.

I find it rather ironic that I try actively to see the positive in my ADHD, yet when I compare my life to other people here who only see it as a curse, their lives often seem less impacted by ADHD.

I have no job, no money, I've never made much more than minimum wage, I can only take one class a semseter, I'm completely dependent on other people, I'm anxious, I have almost no long term friendships, and I live in a crap hole. Still, I will not let go of seeing the positive. It's the perspective I need to have. If I developed a different perspective, things may get even worse for me.

[Geno]

Originally Posted by hockeyguy

ADHD has caused me academic trouble all through school (although now in college I have a 3.8 gpa). It has caused the demise of my marriage. I have very few real friends. I am unable to get stuff done that needs to be done. I make people uncomfortable by throwing out random thoughts. I am unable to make decisions because my brain becomes cloudy and unable to process thoughts.
I don't see how any of this can be considered a gift. Until I learn to "take charge" as Dr Barkley says, for me this is 100% a hindrance.

I've tried to "take charge". Many times. But I always fail and ADHD bests me every time. So I gave up and decided to rely on chemicals to give me the happiness I can't find on my own.

[Geno]

Oh, and about the thread itself, I REALLY think threads claiming ADHD is a gift should be against the rules. Yes, I know it has benefits for some people, goody goody for them, but they don't have to open their mouths about it. People boasting about how their ADHD is a gift and helps them makes people think all cases of ADHD have positive aspects, and one of the few things I've found truly offensive on these forums are people who boast about the positives of their ADHD. Like I said, if you have positive aspects of ADHD, yay for you, now keep it to yourself.

[ana futura]

Originally Posted by Geno

Oh, and about the thread itself, I REALLY think threads claiming ADHD is a gift should be against the rules. Yes, I know it has benefits for some people, goody goody for them, but they don't have to open their mouths about it. People boasting about how their ADHD is a gift and helps them makes people think all cases of ADHD have positive aspects, and one of the few things I've found truly offensive on these forums are people who boast about the positives of their ADHD. Like I said, if you have positive aspects of ADHD, yay for you, now keep it to yourself.

As long as you are clear about it being your perspective, I see absolutely no harm. This site exists for people with ADHD (all of us) to get a better understanding of their disorder. We all come to understand our disorder differently. I NEED to hear from people who can see positives in their ADHD. If I didn't, and everything here was disorder, disorder, disorder, I'd just be even more tempted to drive my car into a wall. It's not "Oh goody goody for me", It's "If I don't look for the positives I might flipping kill myself."

[ana futura]

I think part of the reason I have to look for positives is that ADHD impacts every area of my life, and I literally can not seperate it from my personality. ADHD = Me.

I think that people who are able to seperate the disorder from their personality simply have a different perspective on life than I do (or a different educational or religious background). I always have to look at things in their entirety. I'm not able to break things up and reduce things to the sum of their parts, as I think many things, especially regarding the mind, are far too complicated to be looked at in this manner.

I see ADHD in my personality, others don't. Does that mean that my personality has been effected by ADHD while someone else's has not? Of course not, we are just perceiving the interaction differently. "Personality" is a subjective concept- there is no fixed definition of what factors constitute personality.

From wiki- "Personality is the particular combination of emotional, attitudinal, and behavioral response patterns of an individual." How on earth someone can seperate a psychiatric disorder from that is beyond me, but some people do.

[Retromancer]

Amen brother. Come join us in the STFU choir.

Originally Posted by Geno

Like I said, if you have positive aspects of ADHD, yay for you, now keep it to yourself.

[Geno]

Okay, fine. I have another reason for these threads to be against the rules. Because whenever somebody posts one people argue and get ****** off. Do we really need that on these forums?

[Retromancer]

On this forum we argue about everything. There is nothing we are not passionately for or against. That's why we have mods.

Originally Posted by Geno

Okay, fine. I have another reason for these threads to be against the rules. Because whenever somebody posts one people argue and get ****** off. Do we really need that on these forums?

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by Geno

Oh, and about the thread itself, I REALLY think threads claiming ADHD is a gift should be against the rules. Yes, I know it has benefits for some people, goody goody for them, but they don't have to open their mouths about it. People boasting about how their ADHD is a gift and helps them makes people think all cases of ADHD have positive aspects, and one of the few things I've found truly offensive on these forums are people who boast about the positives of their ADHD. Like I said, if you have positive aspects of ADHD, yay for you, now keep it to yourself.

Talking about it with other people gives a therapeutic benefit.
Writing your thoughts and feelings down just takes a load off your chest.

The choice to speak your mind, as long as it isn't intended to hurt another person, should never be banned.

Arguing is ugly but there's always a light at the end. That's how I feel. Kiss and make up.

Originally Posted by KCTang

Wow FracturedStory... when I saw your percentages for autism, my jaw just dropped. It impacts everything...

That's pretty close to accurate too. I did the gifted part first, followed by neutral.
Most of it can be down to sensory issues, fear of change, and poor social skills (or these days trying not to argue and get p*ssed off with people too much).

[Geno]

Originally Posted by Retromancer

On this forum we argue about everything. There is nothing we are not passionately for or against. That's why we have mods.

Shhhhhhh! We're members of the STFU Chior! You're supposed to support not being allowed to boast about your ADHD "gift"!

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by ana futura

I have no job, no money, I've never made much more than minimum wage, I can only take one class a semseter, I'm completely dependent on other people, I'm anxious, I have almost no long term friendships, and I live in a crap hole. Still, I will not let go of seeing the positive. It's the perspective I need to have. If I developed a different perspective, things may get even worse for me.

I'm in the same situation apart from the money thing. But I'm paranoid about losing it. I have no job and hold to this dream that I can become a successful author. I'm dependent on other people and don't know when I won't be. I've been dependent on people all my life, and they've always been there for me because I seem so young naive and delicate. I've even started to hide any sign of weakness from people. I wish I could get out.

I hate the city I live in, though it's the envy of people I moved away from.
I constantly think my friend hates me after we get into arguments, which happens a lot. I have pretty rocky relationship with her. But we have mental issues and need each other. Well, she probably needs me less. I've only got one friend though.

I'm agoraphobic and have high general anxiety. Plus a hormone disorder that this month I've managed to not break down and cry and scream at someone because of. However, I can't believe how sad I got when the body of a women in a case I was following was found.

Still, I will be a published author. I have to keep pressing forward so I can make it a reality. I will not be unemployed any longer. And I'll get out of this city.

I think KC's approach was the most open minded I've seen here. I really like the G/H/N percentages. It's a good way to show people who don't understand your situation how you experience a disorder.

But overall I think it's not ADHD but our brain that gives us these skills. See, people said 'personality' but that wasn't enough. I needed to compare the 'gifts' with other neurological disorder 'gifts' and come to the conclusion that if it isn't exclusive to ADHD it cannot be from it. And that Norman Doidge, bless him, showed me how the brain can compensate even after the most horrific of traumas.

[Kasi]

Depends on the day. I've lived with this for a bit over twenty two years, most of the time, now that I'm kind of over the whole "but why didn't the diagnosis happen before" hump, I don't even really think about it.

It's not 'just' ADHD, it's my brain and it's the way it's wired. I've spent 24/7 with the damned thing since it started making connections. Occasionally, I just have to go "...why? Just why? We were not meant to go there. That way lies the marrows of insanity!" Other days, I find it really funny. It's all the time that I find it interesting, it's not like it ever stops, and overall, I'm grateful for that.

It's kind of like that gift at Christmas that people get you as a reference to an old inside joke, you kind of want to throw it at their forehead and hope it makes that "BINKT!" noise that was so common in old cartoons. But you won't, you'll snuggle it, and when you run across it later on, you'll make a face at it, but you'll still also sort of smile at the memories.

I may not have asked for it, but it's mine, and you can't have it back.

Oh, because I'm a hind end and think I'm funny, this is my distribution.
0%-100%-0%.



...I did say it depended on the day.

[fracturedstory]

Originally Posted by Kasi

It's kind of like that gift at Christmas that people get you as a reference to an old inside joke, you kind of want to throw it at their forehead and hope it makes that "BINKT!" noise that was so common in old cartoons. But you won't, you'll snuggle it, and when you run across it later on, you'll make a face at it, but you'll still also sort of smile at the memories.

I like this analogy.

[keliza]

I think that if you don't like reading about how people are able to view aspects of ADHD as a gift or a positive thing in their lives, you should probably just not view the thread. It's really that simple. Nobody is forcing their Pollyanna views down your throat if you go onto a thread they started, knowing based on the title that it was about their perception of ADHD as a gift or blessing in certain aspects of their lives. If it riles you up that much, just don't go there. Same reason I don't watch Fox News.

As far as the OP's question, I don't understand the gift/handicap/neutral percentage idea because I really just don't do numbers in general. But I can think of a few ways in which ADHD has blessed me over the years.

1. I'm really, really good at laughing at myself. I probably laugh at myself more than anybody I know laughs at themselves, because I have to. As often as I do "stupid" things like forgetting something, temporarily misplacing items in as of yet undiscovered locations (AKA losing them), making air-headed mistakes at work or in school, etc. I had to learn how to find the humor in those situations. If I didn't, I'd go crazy with frustration, anxiety, and anger with myself. So now, instead of getting flustered, I just laugh. And believe me, I provide enough of that kind of humor to keep myself amused ALL day!

2. Related to #1, I'm very funny. People tell me so all the time, that I have stellar comedic timing and I'm great at improv. I was almost kicked out of my friend's hospital room a few weeks ago because I kept making her and the nurses laugh without meaning to, and every time she laughed it would increase her pain. I think part of that is inborn, some people are just funny by nature, but part of that was also learned. I got into a lot of mischief as a kid because of my ADHD behavior, and if I hadn't learned how to make the adults around me laugh I would've gotten into a lot of trouble! But I learned, fairly quickly, that if you can diffuse a situation with laughter you usually also decrease the punishment by a solid 75%. I still use that in work meetings, diffusing tension with humor. Especially self-deprecating humor (see #1), that really helps when you've accidentally screwed up.

3. I work really well with kids, because I relate to them. Our attention spans are similarly short, so when I start feeling that restless sense of, "Okay, this is getting old, I'm tired of this" I know they are too. The high energy of combined ADHD also helps me keep up with the kids, and not taking many things seriously means we view the world in an often similar way. In the past I've worked as a nanny, camp counselor, and elementary reading coach, and all of those jobs were fantastic because me and the kids got along so well, partly because of that ability to relate to them on their own terms.

4. I see the world differently. Good, bad, or neutral, I see the world differently than most of the people around me. For example, my friend and I were walking our dogs one day and I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk because I saw a dewdrop hanging off of a vine from a tree. It caught my eye, and I looked into it. Have you ever looked inside a dewdrop? The entire world turns upside-down when you do, it's amazing. I could see her and her dog, standing a few feet down the sidewalk, turned upside-down in the center of the droplet. Then I looked just beyond it, and saw that there was a whole line of palm fronds that all had dewdrops hanging off the tips of them. I called my friend over to look at them, and she was just blown away by it. She said, "How did you see that? I would have never even noticed it." Because my attention is all over the place, and because I am an artist at heart, I just see the world differently. I see different parts of it, or in different ways than most people, because we're just looking at different things. I think that is a gift.

5. ADHD has given me a gift of patience, believe it or not. When people have extra patience for me, it makes me, in turn, try to show extra patience to others. Obviously not everyone has patience with my ADHD symptoms, but there are many good people in my life who do. Some people call me an airhead or a space cadet, or get frustrated because I lose focus, forget what I'm doing, etc. But other people see the gifts in me - the creative spark, the zany, off-beat personality, the sense of humor, and the different way of seeing the world. They see those gifts, and they appreciate them, and they try to hone them in a positive way instead of bashing the negatives. When those people come into your life, they make you feel so good about yourself that you try to help others feel just as good, by extending the same kind of loving patience that was given to you. That, I think, is a really great gift.