Social Anxiety Disorder question

[rickymooston]

This is for people who have Social Anxiety Disorder. If you have SA, particularly if you are female, I want to hear from you.
How do you say "no", when somebody asks you to do something you are uncomfortable with?

For example, a guy, who makes you uncomfortable "commands you" to drive somewhere with him. You don't want to. You don't feel comfortable.

Please tell me:
1) Can you politely decline?
2) Is there any medication available that makes it easier for you to assert yourself
3) Does any sort of assertiveness training help with this sort of thing

My feeling is, you have a right to assert yourself and to feel safe. I think the solution has to be simple. Complicated solutions never work because on the spot, one can't think of them. I don't think its acceptable to do something you are not comfortable doing.

Options she has rejected already:
- Being rude in the rejection
- Going with a friend.

I don't have SA but I'm not very aggressive or assertive. My approach is to try and be polite.

[Fuzzy12]

I don't have social anxiety either but I do find it difficult to say no.

I think, I'd just say No & say I've got other plans or made other arrangements.

If the other person doesn't accept a simple NO or gets pushy, then it's ok to be rude to them. And the pushier & more aggressive they seem the less inclined I'd be to get into their car.

[arrested_truth]

Originally Posted by rickymooston

This is for people who have Social Anxiety Disorder. If you have SA, particularly if you are female, I want to hear from you.

Oh dear... I guess that's me...

How do you say "no", when somebody asks you to do something you are uncomfortable with? For example, a guy, who makes you uncomfortable "commands you" to drive somewhere with him. You don't want to. You don't feel comfortable.

I would probably come up with a way to specify how I felt, without exactly saying it like I'm directly speaking my mind... this could include saying something like, "Well... I don't really think I have to do that right now; and besides I'm going to (somewhere else for a long time and it's urgent to be there as soon as possible)... so sorry pal, you're outta luck"
This is kind of along the lines of 'too bad, so sad, good bye, don't cry' and it can be tough especially if you do feel intimidated to begin with... but it helps to have a few couple of sentences/reasons to be excusing yourself from those situations...

1) Can you politely decline?

Yes, I always try to politely decline every thing

2) Is there any medication available that makes it easier for you to assert yourself

Not that I've come across... except the first six months of being prescribed Adderall... and the occassional opiate seems to help me along just dandy; I do believe I have an endorphin deficiency

3) Does any sort of assertiveness training help with this sort of thing

Yes, if you can find the right person/class/course that would benefit your personal learning process of what makes you genuinely uncomfortable, and what is just your social anxiety talking... I think this could help greatly.

[Crazygirl79]

I have touches of social anxiety due to having Aspergers but it's improving a lot.

I have had difficulties in saying no to people in the past even if their request was to the detriment of my well being but since I left an abusive relationship 3 years ago it's almost like a new person has arisen in someways and while the relationship has damaged me in many ways I am now comfortable in saying no and standing up for myself which I guess is a good thing if done appropriately.

This thread reminds me of my school days when I was a complete and utter social retard....oh the awkwardness ugh.

Selena