i feel stuck

[PookDo]

It seems that no matter how hard I work or how hard I try I feel stuck. Like I'll always being struggling

[Unmanagable]

I can relate.

No matter how seemingly good things get at times, this continual up hill battle surely doesn't seem worth the fight at times.

[mayza1]

I too can relate! It is the only thing I fear from life with ADHD, being stuck, never getting anywhere, being average. Like many, I have a vivid imagination with ambitions some would say are stupid. I dream big and I want to be big. Being only 22 I think I can achieve anything should I really want to (maybe an arrogant naivety, but I don't care).

Sometimes when I feel down or stuck, I like to listen to and watch videos on youtube. Here are two that for me pick me up just a little bit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugtHJNhzFiQ

and,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cFL80PN3wA

There are a variety of versions but the message is the same.

There is no point to being stuck, it will get you no where. Life shouldn't be average, it should be exciting, challenging, inspiring.

Do you have medicine or the option that might give you a pick up? Sometimes a little kick may be all you need. But who knows, we're all individuals.

[Raye]

I can so relate to this. Nothing i try seems to feel good enough, there's always someone better at something than you, and when things are going right for once, something always comes along and it goes straight to ****. being stuck sucks. sorry you are going thru this.

[sarahsweets]

You are not alone.

[keliza]

You will always be struggling.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but it's true. You're always going to struggle. You're probably going to struggle in most things you do. Hell, some days just getting out of bed is a struggle, much less everything that comes after it for the next 16 hours until you lay down to go to sleep again. And then, if you're an insomniac like me, even that is a struggle!

This is one of my favorite movie scenes about struggling or about things being difficult:



"It just got too hard."
"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."

Life is full of a lot of unfortunate crap. It really is. Sometimes life pushes me. Sometimes life flattens me with a steamroller. Sometimes it ties me to the hull of a ship, sails me across the ocean, then scrapes me off like a barnacle. I don't enjoy any of that, obviously. But every single one of those things is better than being bored, to me. It's better than if life was easy, because when things are too easy, I get bored, restless, and depressed. I hate being bored. I get uncomfortable when I feel like life is taking the calm, scenic route. I want back on the interstate.

Maybe that's some dysfunction with me, I don't know. But I do know that once I learned to embrace the struggle as a better alternative than boredom, it doesn't seem as bad. Kind of like stoicism, you know? Have you ever read about it? The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, "Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them." If that sounds pretty Buddhist in nature, it's because a lot of parallels can be drawn between stoicism and Buddhism insofar as the way both philosophies view pain (inevitable) and dealing with it (acknowledging it, without passing judgment on the circumstance [which is what produces the suffering], and moving on).

Someone once told me, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." I don't know if they were quoting someone else, or if they made that one up themselves, but it struck me as uniquely clear and true. We're going to struggle. Life is hard. Pain is inevitable. But suffering isn't a natural part of pain. Suffering comes from an excessive struggle against the source of pain. Instead of accepting the painful experience for what it is and moving on, we get upset, we get our feelings hurt, we flail around in life, and we suffer from it.

Mentally I think about stubbing my toe. When I stub my toe it hurts, but then I accept that it hurt and keep walking. Sometimes when we 'stub our toe' in life (metaphorically) we drop to the ground, scream in pain, hold our foot, and cry about how unfair it was that the universe put that table right there and we hit our foot on it. Pain, inevitable. Suffering, optional.

I'm sure I've rambled on far longer than anyone wants to read, so I'll just stop now. I've gone everywhere from A League of Their Own to Greek philosophy to Buddhism, all in one post! (Thank you, ADHD.) But my point is that yes, I understand you. Yes, I understand the feeling of constantly struggling against the tides of the universe, because nothing ever feels easy. But I think it's supposed to be that way. And I think that the more you change the way you view difficult situations, the easier they become to handle. Not because the situation has changed, or even because your talents or abilities have changed, but because the way you see them changes.

[Fuzzy12]

I hate feeling stuck.

"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."

I like that. I've tried it with pain. As in, whenever I'm in bad physical pain I try to just view it objectively without judging it. Ok, that doesn't make much sense probably but I've really got to go now. Anyway, I haven't had great results with it. I can't stop not wishing I wasn't in pain or not letting it bother me.

[lovebugg]

life's a trip ...... you have to take the highs with the lows. A lot has to do with controlling your thinking and seeing things is a positive light