inattentive type

[birdandchicks]

Do you have a child with solely inattentive type ADHD? If so, how do you treat it? Have you found anything that helps besides medicine?

My daughter is purely inattentive. She's just off in her own little world most of the time. The kicker is that sometimes she's better than others. I'll get right to the point where I'll decide to medicate and then she'll all of a sudden start doing a lot better. Then I'll get confident and she'll go back to having trouble again. It makes me crazy!

Currently we are in a down phase. (hence why i'm coming to the board) She was doing really well at school up until a week ago. (she's 11 and in the 5th grade) All on her own, she told me that she was working on paying attention better. She was getting good grades on test and not giving me much trouble on her homework.

Then all of a sudden she get's in trouble for reading in class. starts not completing her work and missed turning in a couple of assignments.

In addition, she seems to be off in her own land a lot more. We took a trip to the mountains for a few days. She couldn't handle being off her routine. She spent most of her free time either reading a book, watching tv or playing a video game. (or begging to do any of these) I couldn't get her attention worth a darn.

She just seems to need constant input all the time. Or she's living in her fantasy land. I can't figure out why this has gotten worse lately.

[ccom5100]

Many people have found that Omega 3 fish oil helps with inattentive adhd. Try to find one that has a 2-1 ratio of EPA to DHA.

Some kids who are inattentive and seem to space out can have yeast overload, especially if they had been treated with antibiotics frequently. Try giving her a daily probiotic and limit the amount of sugar and carbohydrates (from white flour) that she takes in. Stick to complex carbs found in whole grains and fruits.

[Phoenix Ash]

I can't resist sharing here, not because I have that child, but because I AM that child. I'm grown, now, but you could be describing me as a child, to a T. It's actually a bit shocking to me to read, it's so accurate. I did every single one of those things throughout my school years, every single day. (I still do, in a lot of ways.) The failures my behaviors produced made me feel awful. But I couldn't help it.

I know this isn't quite what you asked, but I hope you'll allow me to share my perspective on what it's like to live in an inattentive mind. I am trying to help, in my own way.

For me, the reason I would cycle through ups and downs is because I would despair at my failures, feel awful and want to do better, and renew my determination to pour every ounce of my energy into trying to pull myself out of the hole. For a little while I could keep going just on sheer grinding willpower, but then I would get exhausted and crash and burn, which of course would drop me right back into a pit of failure again.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Endlessly. With variations in timing, intensity and duration depending on diet, exercise, stress, hormones and support system.

I would not be surprised if that's what's happening with your daughter. It's quite a rollercoaster, and it really takes its toll on self esteem. Sadly, I think it's a pattern you can expect to continue unless and until her ADD is well-controlled through treatment. And possibly even then, too. Whether you elect medication or alternative treatments is up to you, but I can tell you that I wish with all my heart I had been properly diagnosed and treated as a child instead of in my late thirties. I believe my life would have gone quite differently. Because the simple fact is, willpower just isn't enough. Not when you have ADD.

I know it drives you crazy to see this pattern. You see your daughter doing better, which gives you hope, and then all of a sudden it falls apart again. It's agonizing! But believe me, it drives her crazy, too. It's because as badly as she wants to succeed and make you proud, her immense will to do so just isn't enough for long. And she doesn't understand why.

Years of this pattern made me feel like a total failure and a defective human being who could never do anything right and never would be able to make anything of myself.

I now understand that it wasn't my fault. She needs to understand that, too. It may sound strange, but guilt and anxiety and fear of failure actually contribute to further failure. She already struggles with finding the energy to redirect her attention, but those emotions rob her of even more of that limited energy. Which then makes her even less attentive and less productive, which then makes her feel worse... It's a vicious, nasty circle. But when we're free of all those negative emotions suddenly things do get significantly easier to do.

You wanted to know what helps, besides medicine. So I guess what I'm saying is, positivity helps. Accept her flaws and faults, even while you try to help her with them. Always make sure she remembers that you love her no matter what, and that your love for her doesn't change whether she gets an A or an F. Notice the things she does right, ten times more than than the things she doesn't. Understand that even when it looks like she isn't, she is trying very, very hard. Positive reinforcement will help replenish her mental energy that gets so, so drained on a daily basis just from trying to function.

I applaud your presence here, because it means you're searching for answers and you care. Just knowing that is bound to help. Best of luck to both of you!!

[SquarePeg]

Phoenix Ash thanks for a great insightful post, it´s really helped me understand my son better. He has been offered a special class this year at school where the content is the same as ordinary classes but pared down to the minimum required to pass the year. He has refused, I understand he doesn´t want to be in "special" classes, he would rather fail than be "special".

He´s not keen on even trying meds because his friend takes them and has a tic (which he didn´t have before) and another one lost weight. My son is very think and can´t afford to lose a pound.

I try to find ways of telling him that even though he wants to try his best and wants to succeed his adhd is preventing him from achieving what he wants. I don´t want to crush him or make him feel his adhd is a separate entity. IT breaks my heart.

We are waiting for a psych appointment and I am hoping she will offer meds (a long whole other story about his other psych), but I don´t want to force him. He´s in denial a bit at the moment and truth is without meds he struggles.

[birdandchicks]

Thanks Ash, (may I call you ash? lol)

That was a very helpful post.
We are definitely in a unhealthy vicious cycle that I need to break. I can see that she checks out even more when things become too boring or difficult. With homework, she’s usually fine until we get to math and then all of a sudden she’s off in la la land. I suppose this could be true on a broader scale as well.



At this point I haven’t had a serious sit down conversation with her about adhd. Your post is convincing me that I REALLY need to have this conversation. She suspects, of course. But hasn’t had confirmation from me. Maybe if we get everything out in the open she’ll understand more of what’s going on and help me help her.



We haven’t medicated because she very underweight. (like not even on the chart underweight) Our ped wouldn’t even prescribe the medication. He wants us to see a psychiatrist which leaves me with trying to find another doctor.



Also she’s hanging in there at school. She’s getting mostly A’s and B’s. Now a lot of work goes into those grades on her and my part. I’ve always felt that as long as she’s hanging in at school we wouldn’t risk the medication problems. Of course, middle school is looming. I’m terrified what that’s going to bring.



One thing that’s happened recently is that she’s gotten points taken away at school for the things I mentioned above. This means she won’t get to participate in fun Friday with the rest of the class. I know this bothers her a lot. She lives for any free time she gets at school and these rewards. I don’t want to undermine the school but part of me wants to tell her that we’ll have our own fun Friday celebration at home. Maybe I will. Or I’ll call it something else and tell her its a reward for her working so hard this year.

Square Peg,
We have an IEP set up for her with the school. Our school doesn’t pull out any longer. My brother did that back in the day and it was the worst thing the school could have done for him. Do you have the option of setting up extra help in the classroom?



The IEP has done a lot to give her confidence this year. They pull her out to give her extra time with testing. She says it makes her feel special and not bad at all. It’s kind of funny because I thought the opposite was going to happen and drug my feet on setting it up.

[birdandchicks]

I forgot to add.

One of her behavior patterns is that she swings constantly on the trapeze. Back and forth then jump off. Over and over again. She'll get up in the morning, watch a TV show, then HAVE to go outside to swing for 15 - 20 minutes. If she can't swing she'll run back and forth in the house.

I find the behavior really odd. It's been going on for years.

[LynneC]

Originally Posted by birdandchicks

I forgot to add.

One of her behavior patterns is that she swings constantly on the trapeze. Back and forth then jump off. Over and over again. She'll get up in the morning, watch a TV show, then HAVE to go outside to swing for 15 - 20 minutes. If she can't swing she'll run back and forth in the house.

I find the behavior really odd. It's been going on for years.

There is plenty of info out there (Google 'swinging and ADHD') about the benefits of swinging for ADHD kids and kids who have sensory disorders. Sounds like she's found the perfect way to keep herself calm.

[SquarePeg]

Birdandchicks. I feel sad for your daughter that she will miss out on fun day because of her ADHD. I don´t think it´s fair. She is obviously working very hard to keep up her grades and if she could do this consistently, i.e complete all assignments and pay attention during class then she wouldn´t have ADHD.

It´s not an excuse to do nothing in class but on the other hand some understanding and leniency and compassion should be shown towards her.

You can´t penalise a child for something they don´t have full control over. If they won´t let her attend then I would do something special with her like you suggest.

[mommytriz]

Originally Posted by birdandchicks

Thanks Ash, (may I call you ash? lol)



One thing that’s happened recently is that she’s gotten points taken away at school for the things I mentioned above. This means she won’t get to participate in fun Friday with the rest of the class. I know this bothers her a lot. She lives for any free time she gets at school and these rewards. I don’t want to undermine the school but part of me wants to tell her that we’ll have our own fun Friday celebration at home. Maybe I will. Or I’ll call it something else and tell her its a reward for her working so hard this year.

I read this with absolute disgust. This is even worse than the the treatment my daughter got and I just couldn't send her to that school anymore. Does her teacher have no compassion. She sounds like a punitive witch. What a cruel, cruel thing to do to a child. If they were telling me that this was going to happen to my child I'd tell them to shove their stupid "fun day" up their riteous *ss. Bloody right have an amazing fun day for your daughter at home. Better than some stale cupcake and boring old movie her classmates will get. WOW. I wouldn't worry about undermining something that is just plain idiocy. Nothing like kicking someone when their down. Have you communicated with the staff that this practice is cruel and will serve in no way to motivate your daugher, rather it will do much more harm than good. Ok, another big WOW at the inneptitude your daugher has to deal with.

[Ms. Mango]

One thing that’s happened recently is that she’s gotten points taken away at school for the things I mentioned above. This means she won’t get to participate in fun Friday with the rest of the class. I know this bothers her a lot. She lives for any free time she gets at school and these rewards. I don’t want to undermine the school but part of me wants to tell her that we’ll have our own fun Friday celebration at home. Maybe I will. Or I’ll call it something else and tell her its a reward for her working so hard this year.

This is pretty typical for a teacher who doesn't understand how to discipline ADHD kids. Telling an ADHD kid if you don't behave now you'll lose something days away doesn't work. Since your daughter has an IEP, maybe it would be worthwhile to see if the Sped folks can come up with a more ADHD-appropriate consequence for whatever she's doing that makes her lose points. Or, even better, see if they can work with the teacher to find ways to redirect her so it's a more positive experience.

[birdandchicks]

You know it's kind of funny. Guess what she'll get to do instead of "fun friday". Read her book.

I find this amusing in some sick way.

Anyway. She got her book back today. I'm going to make sure it's packed for tomorrow.