I can not believe the pdoc's office did this..warning- kind of long

[Raye]

This is basically a rant, so forgive me......As many of you know, I have been griping on here for quite a while that my pdoc could not get my depression under control. I have literally tried 25 different meds in the last 10 years ( gone thru about 5 different ones since seeing this pdoc in May) He kept giving me anti psychotics- they either made me nauseaus or in a zombie like state so I told him I wanted no more anti psychotics. He gives me Trileptal, which of course ended up being junk for me.

2 weeks ago I walked into his office so depressed, almost in a catatonic state. The pdoc wasn't there, so his nurse practitioner was filling in for him. I told her what was going on, that I was having a huge depressive episode that has lasted 5 days so far. So she looks at my file on her desk, says that I've been diagnosed with Attention Deficit and bi polar. I was so physically drained from the depression but I did manage to tell her that since he (the pdoc) has diagnosed me as bi polar, that I wanted a med strictly for bi polar. I also told her that I was having severe panic attacks that went from once a day to 2-3 times a day.

So she prescribed Lamictal for the bi polar, explained how it worked, and it almost went in one ear and out the other as I was so depressed I couldn't focus or concentrate on what she was saying. She also said she would be giving me something for the panic attacks.

Being in such a depressed state, I went and dropped off the script, went home and took a nap. Later I picked up the meds to discover the nurse practioner had prescribed Lamictal and Klonopin.

Ok the issue is that I am addicted to benzos and have been working with the pdoc to taper off of them with librium, to no avail though because every time I get him to lower the dose, I feel crappy. But she had my file on her desk, shouldn't it of said I wasn't allowed to be prescribed, klonopin, xanax, valium, etc?

I did not abuse the klonopin- the old me would have had that whole bottle gone in 2 days. I know that drug addiction does not age discriminate, but I just feel too old to swallow a bunch of pills for a cheap 20-30 minute buzz. It itsn't fun to me anymore. My only interests is to get well mentally for my family.

On the other hand, the Lamictal has worked wonders for the depression. Believe it or not the first dose of 25mg I began feeling alot better, even coming out of the bedroom to socialize with my family. So far I don't have a single side effect from it and I generally feel better.

2 things about this upsets me though- one, it was a nurse practitioner who gave me the lamictal and not the pdoc. Second, it was in the pdoc's file that I'm not be prescribed any benzos other than librium.

Needless to say, I am done with that pdoc. He just couldn't help me and I gave him chance after chance, so I have an appt. this afternoon with a new one.

I've been on this ADD/depressive journey for over a decade. Wish me luck.

[SquarePeg]

Sometimes it needs a fresh pair of eyes. Wishing you luck on your continued journey. I used to go through stages of trying everything, spending loads of money for a few years and then giving up, then trying again 5 years later.

This is my last shot.

[Raye]

Square- Have you been diagnosed bi polar and/or ADHD? Or are you still going through the chaotic mess of mis diagnoses? For years I have seen different Psychiatrists and Dr's only to be what I call 'blown off as depression' and prescribed zoloft, paxil, prozac, and every other one under the sun, all which had zero effect on me. I truly believe the pdoc finally got it right about the bi polar- but I believe he should have given me the Lamictal, not the CNP.

I did some research and lamictal is one of 3 bi polar meds approved by the FDA. I feel so amazing on this med. and have only been on it for almost 2 weeks now. Even my family says they can see a difference. I no longer hide away in my bedroom and cry, feeling hopeless and worthless and guilty. The last 2 weeks I have just generally felt better. I just hope it lasts. Good luck on your journey as well.