What's your stupidest/strangest excuses for being late/absent for work?

[RoboticPaper]

I dont think the truth one would work that great with me. "I don't really feel like working today, pretty tired from working yesterday. Kind of want to hang out and chill with my dog."

[Dciv]

I woke up this morning and I started watching a documentary on chickens @ 5 am in the morning. I couldn't tear myself away. A Headless chicken lived for a couple of months...now I couldn't walk away from that.

[Uneek1]

Originally Posted by DotwithADD

Thought of another one... I took a turn thinking it was a short cut and it wasn't! Silly me...

I totally understand that one! I do that all the time!

[amberwillow]

I thought this thread could do with a dust off...

I had to ring my boss and tell her I wasn't going to make it in to do nightshift because was bleeding in a taxi on the way to emergency. I had been running for an early train, tripped crossing the road and driven my knees an my chin into the asphalt.

This was ironic, since my job was nursing.

Luckily my teenage daughter was there to haul me off the road.

[anonymouslyadd]

Cut myself while shaving.

[Fuzzy12]

Now, it's usually traffic related.

In school, my most common excuse was "The bus was late". I used it pretty much every day till one of the teachers asked me to get note from the bus driver.

[sarahsweets]

Once I had a car accident on a major interstate because I had to swerve around a washer and grill that tell off a truck. I was super late.

[pitbullgirl65]

The cops pulled me over.
My dogs got out and are running loose
My car/truck won't start
I'm snowed in stuck in my driveway. sadly, this one is true. I've had three feet of snow and no snowplow around. One year I had to hire a bobcat to move the snow after they plowed my driveway.
I threw my back out.
My cat ate my contacts. (true story)