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Old 12-01-13, 02:22 AM
khuul64 khuul64 is offline
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I just don't know, help?

Not sure where to start, but the begining seems like a good place. I've always assumed I have had some sort of ADD since I was young. I remember doctor appointments when I was in elementary school and the word ritalin being thrown around, but it just wasn't something my parents we're willing to... accept? I dunno maybe that is the wrong word.

Anyways I'm on the verge of turning 26 now and I think I have turned out ok so far, but life isn't without it's struggles. All througout school I was always labeled the smart kid who diddn't apply himself, which to me seemed spot on honestly. It's not like I didn't want to do well, I did, but when push came to shove I just got out of the way, ya know, to avoid any resistance. I barely made it out of highschool with passing grades mainly due my immense procrastination skills, once I was out of school the last thing I could focus on was homework.

In school I had trouble paying attention to anything teachers we're saying, not that I didn't understand, my mind was just elsewhere, always wondering what's going on later, or maybe thinking about something stupid I said to the cute girl yesterday. Always thinking about something but never what was happening right in fromt of me. But I made it out of that alive, and I'm not dead yet. Today I still have some of the same problems, I have trouble sticking to the task at hand, which is starting to cause issues in the workplace. I work 3rd shift at a hotel, the job is cake really, even still I have problems finishing one task before I move on to the other, like the old phrase "chicken running around with it's head cut off" that's how I feel, I don't think I'm lazy, that's not the problem, just mentally preoccupied and it's stressing me out.

Now that you have a little backstory, confusing as it may be, I'll cut to the chase and tell you why I am here. I recently was given some adderall by a friend, for recreational purposes to be honest, but it affected me in a way that I can only describe as positive. For lack of better words, I get **** done when I take it. Normally I'll stand in the back room of the hotel looking at the laundry worrying about things I have no controll over, thinking about nonsense that happened the week before, or wondering if I'll ever get to take that trip to Myrtle Beach, the last thing on my mind is folding laundry. But on adderall, even tho these thoughts still remain, I am able to focus on the task at hand, and do work. This may not sound like a huge deal, but to me I think it could change my life, I wonder where I would be today if I could have been able to focus in school, if I could have gotten **** done.

Anyways that is my speal, I've been thinking about seeing a doctor I guess, I don't know how to about it, that's why I'm here, where can I go to get help? or some answers?

Last edited by silivrentoliel; 12-01-13 at 12:01 PM.. Reason: paragraphs
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Old 12-01-13, 10:11 PM
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Re: I just don't know, help?

Get tested for adhd. Also sounds like you have anxiety w/o meds (adderall exasperates underlying conditions, anxiety being one) which believe it or not can be just as debilitating in terms of totally making you unable to concentrate/focus. Even more than adhd. You can treat anxiety with lexapro or contain it (google anxiety, primitive, contain) see what to do. Also take the adhd screening test at Harvard or Yale. Visit upenn adult adhd site. They're #1 research/clinic. Think Harvard's no 2. Hope that helps!

Last edited by Daydreamin22; 12-01-13 at 10:25 PM..
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Old 12-01-13, 11:00 PM
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Re: I just don't know, help?

The only way to know is to get tested.
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Old 12-02-13, 12:08 AM
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Re: I just don't know, help?

It's time to see the Dr. and get tested. You sound like you have the symptoms. I would tell the Dr. everything you told us, except the recreational use of Adderall.

That is a huge red flag with Dr.s as well as forum members here. Be careful. You can easily get labeled as a drug seeker. The Dr. won't be interested in your personal drug trial results or your experiences.

Many of us have self medicated as a result of ADHD and made positive personal discoveries. Many others have been arrested, died and harmed others. We are constantly searching to feel, think and focus normal. You just need to do it the proper way.

I think you must use it as a positive indication to seek treatment, although it is always dangerous when you self-medicate and it should be avoided.

Good luck.
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Old 12-02-13, 05:27 AM
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Re: I just don't know, help?

Just remember that someone's reaction to adderall has nothing to do with whether or not they have adhd.
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