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  #16  
Old 10-02-03, 11:35 PM
Bucky Bucky is offline
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Renaldos thankyou for posting. Everyone else has been through the worst(I think) and its kind of comforting to hear from someone who is pretty much where I am and and hasn't come to terms with and accepted the situation yet.

I have been on this medication"I hate thinking of myself on medication" for a week now. I think my body is starting to get used to it. My heart rate settling back down, the anxiety I was getting as the grug wore of has stopped and I can sleep about as easily as I did before.

I still worry that this is another missdiagnosis and I'll be left floundering in the dark once again. I am procrastinating with work more than I ever did because I am afraid my Dexies will prove not to help me one iota "I know it's stupid, but thats what I have been doing!"

Poeple don't seem to understand what its like to have failed at or not finished any magor progect or career you have put your soul into. What do you do when you are approaching 28 and you have tried and failed at every career direction you could possibly think of and it was never through lack of trying. People call me a "try hard", "starter, not finisher", "failure" amoungst other things and what hurts me is not that poeople say it, but that its true.

My father seems to think that with the way I bounce back from one disaster after the other and with my intelligence I am bound to find myself on the recieving end of a huge success sooner or later, but if that were to happen I am sure I would had atleast a moderate success by now... OK now I'm blabbering
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  #17  
Old 10-03-03, 12:14 AM
Wheel1975 Wheel1975 is offline
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Dear Bucky... if I may cut in...

I feel a great deal the way you do, I'm 46, and male, for what that is worth. Mileage will vary...

The drugs don't "do" everything, you are right. but they can help.

There is a guy with very weak legs who plays golf. He uses a golf cart, because it is a support he needs for his disability.

If you start things well, quit setting up to need to finish them yourself! Even in medicine, there are separate people for "closing."

we just did a home loan for a family member. The "guy" we talked to just stood around and looked useless when the REAL action was going on. A young woman who knew the ins and outs of the paper work came in and got all the signatures, checked the details... our sales guy could have been ADHD. He didn't do anything at that point. then she disappeared and he walked us out to the car. He spent hours with us, she spent an hour with us.

Find the division of labor YOU NEED. document it for yourself. follow the rules you learn about yourself. Don't try to be what it is impossible to be. don't fear being what you are, or finding out what you are. Your father is right. You will win. But first you have to pick carefully what to win doing, and when to share the work, or glory or both.

I hope this is palatable.

I had a perfect job. A guy and I talked for a month about it. When we were done we were completely happy with the arrangements:

I would go to shows, do demonstrations, go to dealer meetings, go to training, do training, do field technical support, do sales calls.

He would deal with manufacturers, customers billing, late pays, tax paper work, telephone techincal support, sending quotations. I would generte the specifications for the quotations.

We worked together a few years and he died.

I hired a type A completion oriented woman by luck. Then another employee of the same kind. I replaced him with two people, things went better! Business went great.

then each of them went their own ways, and I did not replace them, and on my own, I started many things I could not finish.

Get the right JOB. Don't do everything!

Be kind and patient, but not permisive, with yourself. you'll do great. trust what you know.
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  #18  
Old 10-04-03, 12:12 AM
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Garry Garry is offline
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I dont know if you had time to click on the link at the bottom of my post called

Various ADD Links but if you did or didnt here is a page that might be worth reading if for nothing else for the humor that I have found in it

Garry

http://www3.sympatico.ca/garrylawton/ADD/What.htm
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  #19  
Old 10-06-03, 01:56 AM
renaldos renaldos is offline
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Hi. Me again. A few things I want to say.

Bucky, I'm glad you got something out of my post. I know what you mean abou the fear of misdiagnosis because I certainly know what it's like to"flounder in the dark" and I'd like to think I've finally got ot right! All the false starts and failures and aimlessness ( there were good things in there too). By the way I was 34 when I got my first "real" job-I'm 42 now. But the diagnosis is important to me because I finally understand that all the struggling wasn't because I was a blithering idiot or that I had a horrible flaw in my character or that I just didn't have substance enough to "cut it".

Wheel, what you said about " carefully picking what to win at" makes sense and somehow gives me hope as I continue to try and figure out how to fit in to this world. You also brought up medication and what it might do for you. Then I went to the site Garry provided a lnk to . That description of what its like to have ADD ! That's perfect! The worst part for me is that feeling of not being able to see or hear clearly. It makes things sooo hard.

I've been on wellbutrin for years for depression. After the ADD Dx they upped my dose but I still have that lack of clarity and that feeling of struggle to understand.

I'm wondering if I can hope that the right med will help me get rid of that feeling of having to strain to see and hear. Any thoughts?


Until next time,
Sara
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  #20  
Old 10-07-03, 12:11 AM
Wheel1975 Wheel1975 is offline
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Hey? Me suggesting drugs?

Honestly. See a doctor!

That said, why you don't see and hear has got to be important! When there are a lot of demands on me, i have to turn off the radio to see around me while driving, while looking for things.

In familiar ground the tunes can be up and i am attentive to traffic front and rear, side, pedestrians, etc.

So it is task profile specific for me. When i can't hear is similar. i'm trying to hear somehing i need to see.... I ask to be able to write it down or read it.

Are these experiences like yours? Perhaps a stimulant would make it worse, or better. selective use of ear plugs? Eliminating clutter, OCD completely?

How do you experience the problem, what have you tried? What has worked?
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  #21  
Old 10-07-03, 12:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Wheel1975
When there are a lot of demands on me, i have to turn off the radio to see around me while driving, while looking for things.

In familiar ground the tunes can be up and i am attentive to traffic front and rear, side, pedestrians, etc.

So it is task profile specific for me. When i can't hear is similar. i'm trying to hear somehing i need to see
That's very interesting...I'm the exact same way...hrmm
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  #22  
Old 10-07-03, 12:37 AM
Wheel1975 Wheel1975 is offline
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There is a well developed theor concerning cognitive vs. associative tasks.

developed while studying the experiences of fighter pilots in dog fights, a few things came to light.

You can do about 12 things at once , associatively... walk, etc., on autopilot as it were, automatically.

cognitively, virtually everyone is restricted to one thing at a time in the group.

The demonstration of the resources required is: driving with kids playing in the back of he car, friend in passenger seat discussing stuff, radio on, highway speeds.

Suddenly it starts to hail. Cars begin to weave and swerve and some slow down dramtically while others do not. The noise of the hail is intense. What do you do?

most people yell "Shut up"

The conversation with the friend stops, the radio is turned off the kids are silenced and told to be still.

driving, that had been just one of several associative tasks, replaces talking with friend as the cognitive task, and reuction in associative tasks is also required.

I think ADHD promote some tasks too quickly to associative, and thus loose track of things while doing them, pass turns on the highway... and get to deeply to focusedly into cognitive tasks, thinking about something else and drive right by the exit.

Too much polarity and extremity in cognitive vs. associative splits.

do you see it this way for yourself, Big?


I wonder what McT would think of his from his own experience?
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  #23  
Old 10-07-03, 09:08 AM
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Its interesting that you use the hail storm metaphore to explain the ADD cognitive/associative "prioritization system". I have personally gone through precisely those exact moments, where my task priority system, instantly shifts to a new or more critical task, in times of stress or urgency.

In fact, I find this "prioritization system" works much better with urgency, when the adrenaline is pumping, where it seems to switch automatically, while in low pressure situations, my "prioritization system" seems to get hung up on the tracks, so to speak. I find, in these more common, low-pressure scenarios, that I have to remind myself to shift tasks & priorities. So...I guess one of my real issues is a Task Prioritization & Management Deficit.
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  #24  
Old 10-07-03, 09:27 AM
smooch smooch is offline
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Big, Wheel~~

All I gotta say is, "Me too! Me too!"
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