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Children's Diagnosis & Treatment This forums is for parents to discuss issues related to diagnosis and treament of children with AD/HD

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  #16  
Old 11-21-13, 09:33 PM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

It was really helpful for me to acknowledge here that I had grief.... To realise that and accept that's how I felt.

Having ADHD myself and knowing in my heart for a long time that my daughter had ADHD too I thought I would only feel happiness and relief when she was finally officially diagnosed.

I wasn't expecting grief.

I guess the diagnosis makes things 100% real and nothing that will magically go away.... And I wish I could spare my daughter the struggle.
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  #17  
Old 11-22-13, 06:10 PM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

I am so glad that I found this forum and post. My wonderful 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD combined about a month ago. I have known something was up since she was 2. Even though I wasn't surprised by her diagnosis, I was so sad.
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  #18  
Old 05-19-14, 10:29 AM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

This post is very helpful. My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD last week. I have been crying off and on ever since. I knew in my heart all along that she had ADHD but hearing the therapist say it out loud just broke my heart. I feel so isolated too. None of my close friends have kids with this and i feel like I have no one to talk to. So happy to find these boards.
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Old 05-19-14, 12:08 PM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

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Originally Posted by BlessedMommy View Post
This post is very helpful. My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD last week. I have been crying off and on ever since. I knew in my heart all along that she had ADHD but hearing the therapist say it out loud just broke my heart. I feel so isolated too. None of my close friends have kids with this and i feel like I have no one to talk to. So happy to find these boards.
Welcome. I think you will find the forum to be a lot of help as so many others have.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Just go to the appropriate forum section and ask away. You may be quite surprised at the help and support you will get.

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  #20  
Old 07-14-14, 09:50 PM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

Thanks for this post - very helpful. I catch myself caught in thinking about San Francisco too much sometimes . . . what would life be like if we could just let DS go play with his peers without watching over him so closely? What would life be like if all the kids were still at the same school, rather than the one with ADHD at a different school? What would our family life be like if we could just all be with each other, interacting with each other "normally"?

It's not productive at all to be thinking "what if?". I believe about myself that I'm not caught up in the idealized, "must have a perfect family", but I also sometimes do just wish we could hit "normal", if not perfect. Helpful to know it's normal to grieve what isn't our path.
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Old 09-28-15, 12:15 PM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

Thanks for posting this.

Just read this. It really is hitting home for me right now. Son was diagnosed with ADHD and EF LD back in March, though we knew something was up for a while and he'd been getting speech therapy for about a year or so prior. When initially diagnosed it was tough, but at least we knew what was up, and being able to plan was an enormous relief to me. By the time he finished Grade1 in June he seemed to be making positive movement, however, with the start of Grade2, it's almost like starting over again for him. He has a lot of Anxiety, and barely talks to other kids or play with them at recess. It just breaks my heart, to the point where my wife has told me I have to find someone to talk to professionally. I feel my main area of worry is the unknowns of how he will be 10 or 15 years from now. I'm sure that my Anxiety is partly where he gets his, and on top of that my wife and I are very introverted, so add the two of us together, add some booster juice and you pretty much have our Son. Luckily for me, the wife is a rock. Though she sweats his troubles too, she is convinced he's going to be okay. He's happy when at home, is concerned about others feelings and even though quite, seems to be liked by some other kids.
I just need to get past my issues right now to able to concentrate on his.
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Old 09-28-15, 04:13 PM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

CanadianDad:

Don't be ashamed to feel how you really feel. You can't just suddenly feel how you're told to feel, even if sometimes it seems like it would be better to be able to do that.

Worrying about the way things might be in 10 or 15 years... While I acknowledge that you do feel that way, I think I have to mention that that is so far from the present that you can't possibly predict it or even have coherent thoughts about it other than generally hoping that things will turn out all right.

The very best thing you can do for your son's future prospects is to help turn the present moment into a good place for him to be.
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  #23  
Old 09-28-15, 04:33 PM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
CanadianDad:

Don't be ashamed to feel how you really feel. You can't just suddenly feel how you're told to feel, even if sometimes it seems like it would be better to be able to do that.

Worrying about the way things might be in 10 or 15 years... While I acknowledge that you do feel that way, I think I have to mention that that is so far from the present that you can't possibly predict it or even have coherent thoughts about it other than generally hoping that things will turn out all right.

The very best thing you can do for your son's future prospects is to help turn the present moment into a good place for him to be.
I agree with you 100%. Like I told my wife, I know exactly what I would tell someone if they were in my shoes, but for some reason it's hard for me to process what I know is right into actually feeling it.

However, I can assure you. My wife and I are 100% behind being there for my son and providing whatever support he needs and getting whatever (scientifically proven) help he needs. My whole goal is to be the type of father I can truely be proud of.


Thanks again for the feedback.
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  #24  
Old 03-14-17, 11:00 AM
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

Thank you for the awesome post. I didn't realise I was grieving for my child's possible ADHD diagnosis until I accidentally disclosed it to someone for the first time and I broke down and cried...
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Old 05-16-17, 11:31 AM
vibrantflame85 vibrantflame85 is offline
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Re: Dealing with grief and ADHD

Thank you for this insightful post. It's so accurate. For years, I wondered if there was something different with my middle son S. Call it mother's intuition or whatever, I kept getting this nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right. But it was easier to believe that it was just a phase, or that his older brother was mature for his age so S seemed immature by comparison. Now that he has been officially diagnosed, I keep fluctuating between depression and acceptance, but at least now I know that thanks to this post.
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