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Old 05-27-08, 02:09 AM
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reesah reesah is offline
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Re: ADHD Boyfriend and Drug Abuse

It is thanks to people, kind people, like you, that I was able to wreak so much havoc in my younger days. You're helping him screw his life up.

Tell him it's the doctor or the door. And try separation until he's been clean for at least a few months. I know you love him and this is why I say, it is thanks to KIND people like you. Your good valuable. Just make sure you protect yourself, and always do what is healthiest and right for you, not thinking of him first. Nobody else in this world is going to look out for you as much as you ought to be. Is he thinking of your welfare first? No he is thinking of himself. You do the same.

edit: I have ADD/ASPD. I'm also from the other side of the fence here, so take it as you will. Just trying to help
sunday morning I'm waking up,
can't even focus on a coffee cup
don't even know whose bed I'm in,
where do I start, where do I begin?
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Old 05-27-08, 11:54 PM
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Re: ADHD Boyfriend and Drug Abuse

Get packing. No matter how sexy you might be, you're not as sexy as Coke.
"The good Earth- we could have saved it, but we were too damn cheap and lazy." -Kurt Vonnegut
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Old 09-29-17, 09:17 AM
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Re: ADHD Boyfriend and Drug Abuse

Hi Ina,

You've had some crazy poetic responses here, haha. I'm familiar with trying to decide about doctors and such while not having heath insurance, and being pretty low income. It's tough, but in this instance it seems like a no-brainer.

Ultimately it IS your happiness that matters, of course, and you have to really look at whether or not having a spouse with severe ADHD is something you are ready to deal with for the rest of your life.

Sounds to me like your man would be doing himself and you a serious disservice to refuse to try medication. Does he not see the difference between when he's straight and when he took the Concerta?

How can you get him to agree to at least TRY add meds? Does he know that generic adderall is an inexpensive prescription? (my husband pays $14 for his script each month). Does he know that all it takes is 1 visit to a psychiatrist to get medication (and then you follow up every few months). Have you tried talking to him about this while he is medicated and in a more sound frame of mind? Can you ask his family or friends for help?
(Like, Intervention style)

Lastly, with the coke, does he do other drugs also? I'm maybe less condemnatory of recreational drugs than some people here (for better or for worse). If he's JUST doing coke, then maybe it really is an effort to self medicate, but if he's generally reckless with other drugs, mdma, acid, pills, opiates, booze, etc, etc. Than that belies a deeper issue.

If I were you (and btw I really liked your initial post, well written and dare I say a little humorous, even though I know the situation is anything but..) I would make a Herculean effort to get him to try medicating for ADD. Once he is stable, you can begin to address other issues that may arise, getting him into NA meetings if necessary, or therapy. (Even if you dont have insurance, there are programs for free counseling. Are you in NYC? They have good programs sometimes, if you qualify as low income). And then once he is stable, which is something he should do for himself anyway, then maybe you will feel more free to decide if its best for you to leave or stay...
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