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  #1  
Old 11-06-17, 04:26 PM
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I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Just to see if I can do it without needing someone to pick up the pieces if it causes me to fall apart.

I want to try and sit through the song that I have not been able to hear for years without falling to pieces and try and desensitise myself to it.

It'll be round about this time on either Friday or Saturday that I'm thinking of doing it (so if I do fall apart and need someone with me, even if it's just a presence online, I'll have chance to be sorted before I have to go back to work and it shouldn't affect my work)

Good idea or bad idea? And will anyone be around to pick up the pieces if I do flip my lid hearing the song?
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  #2  
Old 11-06-17, 05:13 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
Just to see if I can do it without needing someone to pick up the pieces if it causes me to fall apart.

I want to try and sit through the song that I have not been able to hear for years without falling to pieces and try and desensitise myself to it.

It'll be round about this time on either Friday or Saturday that I'm thinking of doing it (so if I do fall apart and need someone with me, even if it's just a presence online, I'll have chance to be sorted before I have to go back to work and it shouldn't affect my work)

Good idea or bad idea? And will anyone be around to pick up the pieces if I do flip my lid hearing the song?
Star I'm sorry I can't commit to any particular times in case fuzzling is awake unless you are doing this very late at night. I'll definitely check in though and would love to hear of your progress.


If you get near the stage of falling apart though it's best to to stop with your experiment. If I understand desensitisation therapy correctly the stimulus has tobe so.mild that it does not cause an adverse reaction. If it did cause an adverse reaction the negative association might be strengthened actually. so you start very small and then gradually increase the trigger.


I have a lot of songs that I. Ant listen to because of the emotions and moods they evoke.ive niticeethough that of I'm very busy with something and then a trigger song. Cones on the radio or so then I don't react so strongly.
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  #3  
Old 11-06-17, 05:15 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

It's ok Fuzzy, hope Fuzzling lets you rest tonight
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  #4  
Old 11-06-17, 05:31 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

The day my own family ripped my heart out, tore it into shreds and threw it away like it was nothing was the day that song was playing on a tv advert. Had they waited i may have been stronger and better able to deal with their wants but they were in too much of a rush with their wants that my needs were ignored. Thats why that song hurts me so much. What a wonderful world my butt.
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  #5  
Old 11-06-17, 06:43 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Fuzzy is right. If it gets to be too much, take a break, come back to it later.
Small steps are still taking us in the right direction. You've come a long way
and I think you're doing fine.
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  #6  
Old 11-07-17, 09:35 AM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

I am scared, is it possible for it to hurt so much literally just hearing the song is literally what kills me? Is it possible for a song to be the direct cause of death?
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  #7  
Old 11-07-17, 11:26 AM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
I am scared, is it possible for it to hurt so much literally just hearing the song is literally what kills me? Is it possible for a song to be the direct cause of death?
I don't think the feelings when hearing that song can actually kill you, although
it may feel like that's what happening. I think you have PTSD from that awful
time and the song causes flashbacks.
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  #8  
Old 11-07-17, 12:30 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

midnightstar...

It may hurt to hear it, yes, because it may bring deep emotions to the surface.

Enough to kill you? I’ve never heard of such a thing.

As to whether this is a good idea or not, I think it is a good idea, and in any case, you are the best judge for you, so I encourage you to trust yourself.

That you had the idea to do this suggests to me that your person is seeking things out as a means to heal itself. I think the fact you got the idea to do this is very positive indeed.


Cheers,
Ian
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Old 11-07-17, 01:40 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Just mentioning the song was enough to give me leaky eyes, Tigger has been drying my eyes for me turning the tap off by rubbing my eyes dry and purring loudly, bless her. Ebony also knows something wrong, she pacing and meowing but she not brave enough today to jump up next to me
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Old 11-09-17, 01:58 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Don't desensitize.
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Old 11-09-17, 06:40 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
Just mentioning the song was enough to give me leaky eyes, Tigger has been drying my eyes for me turning the tap off by rubbing my eyes dry and purring loudly, bless her. Ebony also knows something wrong, she pacing and meowing but she not brave enough today to jump up next to me
Again start small. Maybe with just mentioning the name of the song. And then when you are ok with that write down the name of the song. When you are ok with that hum it...and so on. You can do this but don't shock yourself.gentle is the way to go. By the time you hear the song you want it to have lost its specialness.it should be mundane. Like listening to the macarena
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Old 11-10-17, 03:00 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

Set youtube off with the song just now.

Managed the first verse but then had to come off of it because I just can't deal with it.
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Old 11-10-17, 03:07 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

correct me if i'm wrong, but are you trying to do your own exposure response prevention therapy?

if so, i mean, i've done that with a therapist. and i think starting slow is ideal. writing it down, typing it here... maybe listening for ten seconds. practicing CBT stuff the whole time to reduce your anxiety.

i mean, it's a process. so i wouldn't feel badly about not listening to the whole thing. there's **** i've been working on, literally, for years, that i'm still not at the point of being ok with executing the goal.

to your question above about whether a song can kill you because it hurts so much, i truly don't think so. if that could happen, i'd be way dead. there are songs that can bring me to tears even now, with my blunted affect. that have torn me to shreds. but, no...i live on.
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Old 11-10-17, 03:12 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

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Originally Posted by peripatetic View Post
correct me if i'm wrong, but are you trying to do your own exposure response prevention therapy?

if so, i mean, i've done that with a therapist. and i think starting slow is ideal. writing it down, typing it here... maybe listening for ten seconds. practicing CBT stuff the whole time to reduce your anxiety.

i mean, it's a process. so i wouldn't feel badly about not listening to the whole thing. there's **** i've been working on, literally, for years, that i'm still not at the point of being ok with executing the goal.

to your question above about whether a song can kill you because it hurts so much, i truly don't think so. if that could happen, i'd be way dead. there are songs that can bring me to tears even now, with my blunted affect. that have torn me to shreds. but, no...i live on.
yeah I tried it in the past with a therapist as well, didn't work then either (got too upset then and finding it hard to even handle being online while that song was playing, just had to hold Tigger and tried cuddling up to Ebony but Ebony's not in the mood for cuddles, just got told in no uncertain terms by her to shove cuddles where the sun don't shine)

Am I "crazy", missing my snugglebug so much even after all these years? If he's still alive he's a old boy now. Can barely type. too upset.
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Old 11-10-17, 03:15 PM
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Re: I want to try something on Friday or Saturday

my best friend left this world six years, six months, one day, and 23.75 hours ago. i'm not in a position to judge when someone is "crazy" in general, but certainly not for missing a loved one.
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