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  #16  
Old 11-25-17, 02:18 PM
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Re: 16 year old cousin allowed to drink at Thanksgiving

My thing would have been not in my house. If I am the host, I don't think I would have a problem with somebody having a sip of wine or something, but having a 16-year-old drinking that much alcohol in my house just seems like asking for trouble.
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Old 11-26-17, 09:48 AM
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Re: 16 year old cousin allowed to drink at Thanksgiving

I actually saw my mom and the other cousin Erica with the 14 year old son my youngest daughters's age and we talked about things. She was really upset and my Mom noted that the more she thought about it the more upset she was but she was cooking/serving and cleaning up from dinner. The cousin Erica said that what they choose to do at their own house is their business which I need to remember too. But the fact that from my son's count this 16 year old had at least 6 wine coolers/Jack and cokes means that this goes beyond a special day or occasion. Come to find out this girl had plans to go to a bonfire later on as well.
My Mom wasnt in the position to start any crap about it and it and it wasnt my house or kids. I mentioned Christmas because they sort of informed us that they will be there. Erica said she was going to talk about it with this girls father, he brother. The brother is actually an awesome guy and even he noted that the mom and daughter were in BFF territory rather than mom and daughter territory. It upset my youngest a lot more than I realized and maybe that has to do with me, but she is more of a rule follower.And I have to remember that the world doesnt revolve around me being an alcoholic but I dont think its too much to ask that the 16 year old not drink. The adults can get smashed for all I care, at least its legal. Im calling her in a bit to see what she says.
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Old 11-26-17, 09:58 AM
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Re: 16 year old cousin allowed to drink at Thanksgiving

moderator note

please keep the discussion to drinking alcohol only.

cheers,
-peri
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Old 11-27-17, 10:07 AM
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Re: 16 year old cousin allowed to drink at Thanksgiving

I have known parents that introduced alcohol young in the hopes it limited the wild child behavior. I'd have to say that while the teenagers didn't hide the drinking, things got complicated. When her 17 year old best friend comes over is SHE allowed to drink? What about her boyfriend on prom night, arriving at prom with any alcohol on your breath is grounds for expulsion at many schools.

So, what happens when their house rules clash with other place rules regarding alcohol? If this were my child I would limit her alcohol intake where it wasn't appropriate. A family gathering that consisted of other children age 13-20 that could not drink would be an inappropriate place in my opinion. She likely double drank BECAUSE it was inappropriate and wanted her cousins to see it and comment on it. It wouldn't surprise me if she drank sparingly when she wasn't making a spectacle of herself in front of others who could not drink.
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Old 12-01-17, 05:44 AM
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Re: 16 year old cousin allowed to drink at Thanksgiving

Well, my one cousin Erica decided to talk to her brother and it went really well. He was very apologetic about not considering the place he was at and if other parents were ok with it and that he basically made that decision for my mom by allowing her to drink. When I talked to erica first I told her that if it would help she can relay my alcoholism and tell him that my other daughter has had issues and that it makes me think I am overreacting and makes her care less about the consequences of drinking.
She said he was very receptive and that Christmas wont be an issue. Its the wife really that is the factor in this so I think he is just going to say that he doesnt think its right with other kids around rather than tell her that people complained about it. I feel much better!
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Old 12-01-17, 09:27 AM
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Re: 16 year old cousin allowed to drink at Thanksgiving

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Well, my one cousin Erica decided to talk to her brother and it went really well. He was very apologetic about not considering the place he was at and if other parents were ok with it and that he basically made that decision for my mom by allowing her to drink. When I talked to erica first I told her that if it would help she can relay my alcoholism and tell him that my other daughter has had issues and that it makes me think I am overreacting and makes her care less about the consequences of drinking.
She said he was very receptive and that Christmas wont be an issue. Its the wife really that is the factor in this so I think he is just going to say that he doesnt think its right with other kids around rather than tell her that people complained about it. I feel much better!
Glad you are feeling better Sarah...the other kids thing is a perfectly valid reason to not allow it. It's not the right place or time to impose their family values on others. I also think strongly that she over imbibed because she knew it was wrong in that environment and was showing off in front of the other kids.
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