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Careers/Job Impact This forum is for adults to discuss how AD/HD affects work and career.

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Old 11-17-17, 03:54 PM
Abshire Abshire is offline
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Question Getting Interviews but no offers

I'm stuck in a dead-end job and have been searching for better work for quite a while. I must look really good on paper. I can get interviews, even in this tight economy. But I'm stuck in a cycle of always-the-bridesmaid, never-the-bride when it comes to offers of employment.

Part of the problem is that I've been focusing on our local area, where the job market is even lower than the state average. I tried for several years to get into a state government job, but finally lost interest in that after having my hopes crushed too many times. To paraphrase the late George Carlin, it's a big club and I ain't in it.

If the new job is the right fit for me, I'm no longer scared of the commute. There's also the chance that, if I find something especially good, we can move to a town that's halfway between my husband's employment and mine. We rent. He's 62 and I just turned 55.

The problem, though, is getting an offer. I've been watching videos about how "likability" is even more important that competence. How do I get an employer to like me best? I tend to have anxiety in unfamiliar situations, especially when I know I'm being evaluated...and even more so when I'm being compared to other people. One manifestation of my ADHD is that I feel a day late and a dollar short on the nuances of social interactions. So I get relegated to the role of Perpetual Runner-up.

Any suggestions?
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Old 11-18-17, 01:23 PM
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Re: Getting Interviews but no offers

I read the title and couldn't resist replying. I have had the exact same situation. Looked really good on paper, got so many interview invites, but didn't get through the interview. I have 'performance anxiety' too.
I know its easier said than done. But try if it works. Write down some common questions asked in the interview and then write down some of your best answers and stories. Then in the interview, try to incorporate those stories even when not asked. Try to lead the interview to a direction that you want to.
For the anxiety and nervousness part, BREATHE and remember its not the last opportunity. Brain tends to be an idiot in differentiating physical and emotional threats. So we can feel the same kind of pain in an emotional 'danger' situation as we would have if we were actually hit. Try to forget everything else during the situation(interview in this case) and stay in the moment.. Forget thr past failures or f ups. Rather try to bring out the failure story and tell them what you learnt from the same. And writing down and practicing with a friend helps.. Believe me.

Best of luck.. Tell me how it goes.
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Old 12-04-17, 12:25 AM
Abshire Abshire is offline
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Unhappy Re: Getting Interviews but no offers

One career advisor suggested a couple of "tweaks" to my resume. After I tried them, I got even fewer calls for interviews. So I'm going back to the old format.

I received one call about a weekend job during the middle of my shift at my current employer. It was kind of an odd exchange, because the person left only a page with a phone number, and no voicemail. I tried to set up an interview with the new employer after I was finished with my shift (we were working on a huge, complicated project), but they put me off both times I called back. For all I know, they could have interviewed and hired someone else while I was still at work. If they weren't interested in interviewing me, why did they call my number at all?

I'm beginning to feel superstitious, like the Curse of the Bambino or something. And I have no way how to break the curse.
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Old 12-04-17, 01:19 AM
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Re: Getting Interviews but no offers

Just keep your head up and keep charging forward is my best advice. Continue to practice for interviews and developing your interview skills. Don't forget to really network. Getting to know the right people in your industry is how many get in the door.

It's a numbers game really. Keep trying and sooner or later you will click with an interviewer and their company and it will happen. It only takes one. Don't give up!

Best of luck!
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Old 01-15-18, 03:02 AM
jovianmstar jovianmstar is offline
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Re: Getting Interviews but no offers

I'll try to give what advice i can. I left a company almost a year ago where I had the opportunity to be the interviewer and evaluate candidates for our group. Almost all of the time we were making decisions based on personality. we wanted people that seemed easy to get along with, professional, and likely to integrate well with our group dynamic and the company culture.

the worst thing candidates could do is talk so much to where you couldn't even ask them questions. Sometimes not even answering your question in the first place. sometimes this comes off as arrogant.

on the other side is not talking enough. never give simple yes and no answers. answer the question and back up your claim with a real life example stated in a few sentences.

the best candidates were the ones that engaged me. they made me lean in and want to listen. they were clear, concise, and confident. be professional and polite. but don't over do it. go with the flow of the conversation. It's a good sign if things get a little light hearted and if you have a brief anecdote that will give everyone a chuckle then try it out. if the opportunity arises use it but never force it in the conversation. good interviews have a certain ebb and flow. engage in small talk or your hobbies and interests if it seems appropriate. try to get a feel for your audience. if your interviewer is some young lad dressed in a trendy kind of way it's probably wise not to discuss your rock collection that you recently reorganized in order to separate the metals from non-metals.

you said "I tend to have anxiety in unfamiliar situations, especially when I know I'm being evaluated" Remember that you are there to interview them as well. You have to decide if you want to work with them too. go into the interview with the mindset that you are judging them too. sometimes we were nervous ourselves when a really good candidate came along. dont be cocky or try to be the only dominant figure in the conversation. its kind of a give and take thing. on the same note, not having any questions yourself makes you look naive or unprepared.

I think based on what you said about getting anxious about being judged etc. try to go in with the idea that you are there to interview them too. they need to convince you to join them as well. I hope that can help you feel more confident. it certainly helped me.

its weird interviewing people and evaluating them. I'm only 27 and I never thought i'd interview people. in the end it came down to "do they seem like a good fit FOR THE TEAM. I was trying to evaluate if I could see myself working with you and having positive interactions. It's not always your fault if you dont seem like a good fit. every group and company has its own culture and dynamic. once that dynamic is established only certain people fit the criteria. there's nothing wrong with you per se. you just might not fit in well given the already established collective culture of the group. It just depends really.

also keep your social media stuff as private as you can. we do look and we do judge you based on what we see. a brief look at a facebook profile right before an interview can and has biased my opinion negatively. not a good way to start off.
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