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  #31  
Old 12-06-17, 01:25 PM
Arthos Arthos is offline
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by Caco3girl View Post
I think our signals are getting crossed here. In the original post mildadhd asked "Primary caregivers are in the best position to accommodate that extra time needed, and also make sure that other family and community members also accommodate that extra time, when needed."

My response to that is that I don't make sure other family and community members accommodate my kids, they have to adapt to the world, not the other way around. I can't see my son explaining to his boss that he is constantly 20-40 minutes late due to ADHD, and the boss should accommodate his tardiness.

The world doesn't work that way, so I'm trying very hard to make sure my kids understand that if they know they have a weakness they need to figure out a way to overcome it or get around it. In my kids case I ask them to be 30 minutes early to everything. This is how we as a family adapt to the world, we don't ask the world to stop and wait for them.
Oops! I sure missed that part in the OP. (ADHD, anyone else? )

Yeah, mostly I agree with you, as long as people have a healthy bit of patience and kindness

Last edited by Arthos; 12-06-17 at 01:44 PM..
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  #32  
Old 12-06-17, 01:54 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by Arthos View Post
Hi mildadhd, there are so many assumptions / unusual definitions going on in this topic that it is (at least for me) hard to understand what you are asking.

The cause of ADHD is unknown. In fact, ADHD is diagnosed based on clinical symptoms. That means that it is likely that there are several possible causes involved and that two people with ADHD might have very different underlying causes.

Are you asking what parents can do to accommodate children with ADHD (symptoms) until such time that they can be diagnosed and treated?


There are multiple evolving thread topics going on.

I agree that two people might have very different underlying causes.

There are also always at least two or more causation factors involved in each individual case.

That’s a lot of individual causation possibilities.

In this thread..

I am focusing on normal developmental timeline before it is possible to be diagnosed with ADHD.

The normal developmental milestone for implicit emotional self regulation is about the age of 4-7*

What can primary caregivers do to accommodate their children born with symptoms of a hypersensitive temperament before ADHD (symptoms) emerge about the age of 4-7*. (*Give or take)

Thanks for your help and patience.

Thoughts?





M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 12-06-17 at 02:19 PM..
  #33  
Old 12-06-17, 02:26 PM
Caco3girl Caco3girl is offline
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
There are multiple evolving thread topics going on.

I agree that two people might have very different underlying causes.

There are also always at least two or more causation factors involved in each individual case.

That痴 a lot of individual causation possibilities.

In this thread..

I am focusing on normal developmental timeline before it is possible to be diagnosed with ADHD.

The normal developmental milestone for implicit emotional self regulation is about the age of 4-7*

What can primary caregivers do to accommodate their children born with symptoms of a hypersensitive temperament before ADHD (symptoms) emerge about the age of 4-7*. (*Give or take)

Thanks for your help and patience.

Thoughts?


M
What are you calling hypersensitive temperament? Can you give an example?
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  #34  
Old 12-06-17, 04:44 PM
Arthos Arthos is offline
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
I am focusing on normal developmental timeline before it is possible to be diagnosed with ADHD.

The normal developmental milestone for implicit emotional self regulation is about the age of 4-7*

What can primary caregivers do to accommodate their children born with symptoms of a hypersensitive temperament before ADHD (symptoms) emerge about the age of 4-7*. (*Give or take)
As you are saying, (emotional) self-regulation is usually something that a child develops over the years. This is one of the reasons why an ADHD diagnosis requires symptoms to the extent that is inappropriate for the developmental level.

To be honest, I don't think children who go on to be diagnosed with ADHD necessarily have/had hypersensitive temperaments. In fact, some might be so all over the place (or aloof) that they barely notice things. Hypersensitivity may be more commonly associated with autism, or I might be misunderstanding what you mean by "hypersensitive temperament".

If anything, I have heard children who go on to be diagnosed with ADHD combined/hyperactive be described as intense, in the sense that they keep their parents occupied.

For young, intense children (who may or may not go on to be diagnosed ADHD, and not all diagnosed children will have been intense), I agree with earlier posters that unconditional love is key. Chances are that intense children will start having negative experiences with other people at a very young age, and this is likely to affect their sense of self-worth if not taken care of.

Parenting is all about giving your child what it needs, and children's needs vary even if they happen to have a similar temperament. Whatever suggestion I would give would for sure work for some intense children and be detrimental for others.
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  #35  
Old 12-07-17, 09:30 AM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by Arthos View Post
As you are saying, (emotional) self-regulation is usually something that a child develops over the years. This is one of the reasons why an ADHD diagnosis requires symptoms to the extent that is inappropriate for the developmental level.

To be honest, I don't think children who go on to be diagnosed with ADHD necessarily have/had hypersensitive temperaments. In fact, some might be so all over the place (or aloof) that they barely notice things. Hypersensitivity may be more commonly associated with autism, or I might be misunderstanding what you mean by "hypersensitive temperament".

If anything, I have heard children who go on to be diagnosed with ADHD combined/hyperactive be described as intense, in the sense that they keep their parents occupied.

For young, intense children (who may or may not go on to be diagnosed ADHD, and not all diagnosed children will have been intense), I agree with earlier posters that unconditional love is key. Chances are that intense children will start having negative experiences with other people at a very young age, and this is likely to affect their sense of self-worth if not taken care of.

Parenting is all about giving your child what it needs, and children's needs vary even if they happen to have a similar temperament. Whatever suggestion I would give would for sure work for some intense children and be detrimental for others.
I can agree with this Arthos. My 15 year old son is in a brain fog without the meds. He's the opposite of hypersensitive, he has to repeat instructions back to me when he's not on the meds because I'm tempted to wave my hand in front of his face and say HELLO!!!! Anyone in there? I of course don't, but it's tempting.

My 8 year old daughter is a bounce off the wall type, she is moving so fast she can't stop long enough to absorb things. Again, I don't see her as hypersensitive, more like a perpetual motion machine. If her friend fell down she would show empathy, ask if she could help, maybe get me, but then she would be asking her friend if she wanted to make fairy dust out of chalk, or maybe go down to so and so's house, or maybe they should play basketball, or ride a scooter, I think i have an extra scooter....and all of his is within 2 minutes of the girl falling and scrapping up her knee and the girl is looking at her like HELLO, I just fell, can we stop for a minute?

I don't think either of my ADHD kids are hypersensitive.
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  #36  
Old 12-07-17, 06:39 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthos View Post
As you are saying, (emotional) self-regulation is usually something that a child develops over the years. This is one of the reasons why an ADHD diagnosis requires symptoms to the extent that is inappropriate for the developmental level.

To be honest, I don't think children who go on to be diagnosed with ADHD necessarily have/had hypersensitive temperaments. In fact, some might be so all over the place (or aloof) that they barely notice things. Hypersensitivity may be more commonly associated with autism, or I might be misunderstanding what you mean by "hypersensitive temperament".

If anything, I have heard children who go on to be diagnosed with ADHD combined/hyperactive be described as intense, in the sense that they keep their parents occupied.

For young, intense children (who may or may not go on to be diagnosed ADHD, and not all diagnosed children will have been intense), I agree with earlier posters that unconditional love is key. Chances are that intense children will start having negative experiences with other people at a very young age, and this is likely to affect their sense of self-worth if not taken care of.

Parenting is all about giving your child what it needs, and children's needs vary even if they happen to have a similar temperament. Whatever suggestion I would give would for sure work for some intense children and be detrimental for others.
Why would there be a inborn temperament associated with autism but not ADHD?

If there is no inherited temperment associated with ADHD, does that mean ADHD is not inherited?

I think in the future, I will refer to the normal inborn temperament associated with what ever disorder is being discussed.

When I started this thread, I thought the idea of was widely accepted that many children with ADHD, where born with a more sensitive temperament and was not expecting the disagreement in this thread.








M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 12-07-17 at 06:51 PM..
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  #37  
Old 12-07-17, 06:51 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by Caco3girl View Post
-Sensitive and Reactive are synonyms, so one does not yield the other, they are the same thing.

If you reread the thread, I wrote a more sensitive temperament is a more reactive temperament.

It was namazu that thought they were different.





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  #38  
Old 12-07-17, 06:54 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by namazu View Post
I'd keep it simple: "What can primary caregivers do to help a sensitive child?"

So far, people have suggested:
  • love
  • extra time
  • hugs
  • advocacy on their behalf
  • not letting them assume that the world should adapt to them and instead figuring out strategies to enable them to meet expectations
  • ensuring that parents' own challenges (including ADHD) are addressed
  • letting them know they're appreciated
  • fun
I'm not sure what to make of this list. We did all of this when we thought our ASD/ADHD daughter was "just sensitive, just intense, just [insert adjective here]." The BEST thing that helped our daughter was getting properly diagnosed and starting medication. I guess from our point of view, the usefulness of this only goes so far and parents should be doing these things anyway, regardless of diagnosis (ie. my son also benefits from the above).
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  #39  
Old 12-07-17, 07:01 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by maple17 View Post
I'm not sure what to make of this list. We did all of this when we thought our ASD/ADHD daughter was "just sensitive, just intense, just [insert adjective here]." The BEST thing that helped our daughter was getting properly diagnosed and starting medication. I guess from our point of view, the usefulness of this only goes so far and parents should be doing these things anyway, regardless of diagnosis (ie. my son also benefits from the above).
I wanted to say something similar. Is there anything that the parent or a sensitive child should be doing differently that wouldn't benefit all children?
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  #40  
Old 12-07-17, 07:20 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I wanted to say something similar. Is there anything that the parent or a sensitive child should be doing differently that wouldn't benefit all children?




Emotional self regulation develops in interaction with the environment.

Consider a infant who is born with a autonomic temperament that more sensitive to distresses during early development of emotional self regulation, but is not exposed to chronic emotional distresses.

Verses

.. the same infant born with the same more sensitive autonomic temperament, but is exposed to early chronic emotional distresses, daily.




M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 12-07-17 at 07:29 PM.. Reason: Edit edited mistake
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  #41  
Old 12-07-17, 07:26 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by maple17 View Post
I'm not sure what to make of this list. We did all of this when we thought our ASD/ADHD daughter was "just sensitive, just intense, just [insert adjective here]." The BEST thing that helped our daughter was getting properly diagnosed and starting medication. I guess from our point of view, the usefulness of this only goes so far and parents should be doing these things anyway, regardless of diagnosis (ie. my son also benefits from the above).

Emotional self regulation develops in interaction with the environment.

ADHD is caused by both environmental and biological factors.

I am not disputing the possible benefits of medication.

This thread is focusing on environmental factors also involved, and how we could help accommodate children who are born with more sensitive temperaments before medication is a option.





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  #42  
Old 12-07-17, 07:39 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

Quote:
Originally Posted by maple17 View Post
I'm not sure what to make of this list. We did all of this when we thought our ASD/ADHD daughter was "just sensitive, just intense, just [insert adjective here]." The BEST thing that helped our daughter was getting properly diagnosed and starting medication. I guess from our point of view, the usefulness of this only goes so far and parents should be doing these things anyway, regardless of diagnosis (ie. my son also benefits from the above).
For what it's worth, when I made that list, I was merely trying to summarize the responses that people had already given to the question asked in the subject of the thread.

While (like you) I do believe that many of those ideas are generally good parenting advice, I definitely did not mean to endorse the idea that they could prevent a child with a predisposition towards ADHD (or autism, or...) from developing the condition.

I'm glad you've found appropriate ways to help your daughter cope with her ASD/ADHD.

Last edited by namazu; 12-07-17 at 07:58 PM..
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  #43  
Old 12-07-17, 07:48 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Emotional self regulation develops in interaction with the environment.

Consider a infant who is born with a autonomic temperament that more sensitive to distresses during early development of emotional self regulation, but is not exposed to chronic emotional distresses.

Verses

.. the same infant born with the same more sensitive autonomic temperament, but is exposed to early chronic emotional distresses, daily.
Regardless of a child's temperament, wouldn't any caring parent try to minimize the distresses on their children to the extent possible?

I think Fuzzy's question still stands. What is it that caring parents could do differently for a child with a "more sensitive" temperament that they wouldn't already do for any child?
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  #44  
Old 12-07-17, 07:50 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Emotional self regulation develops in interaction with the environment.

Consider a infant who is born with a autonomic temperament that more sensitive to distresses during early development of emotional self regulation, but is not exposed to chronic emotional distresses.

Verses

.. the same infant born with the same more sensitive autonomic temperament, but is exposed to early chronic emotional distresses, daily.




M
I agree that a sensitive child will do better in a healthy environment with minimal distress but all children would do better in a healthy environment. I guess for a sensitive child this is even more important.

My question is: all the things that were mentioned in this thread would benefit ANY child. They might be more important for a child with a sensitive temperament but ideally we would do these for all children. I'm curious if you think there is anything that you would do for a sensitive child that would not benefit or even potentially hurt a non sensitive child and vice versa
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  #45  
Old 12-07-17, 09:51 PM
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Re: What can primary caregivers do to accommodate ADHD temperament?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I agree that a sensitive child will do better in a healthy environment with minimal distress but all children would do better in a healthy environment. I guess for a sensitive child this is even more important.

My question is: all the things that were mentioned in this thread would benefit ANY child. They might be more important for a child with a sensitive temperament but ideally we would do these for all children. I'm curious if you think there is anything that you would do for a sensitive child that would not benefit or even potentially hurt a non sensitive child and vice versa


Hugging a child who does not want to be hugged due to hypersensitive temperament is an example I have been thinking a lot about lately.

Prof Grandin said she wanted to be hugged by her mom, but due to her hypersensitive temperament, human hugs are painful.

That must be a terrible experience for both undiagnosed infant and primary caregivers to deal with.

I read that infants who startle when touched, may be a sign of a hypersensitive temperament.





M
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