ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Non-ADD Partner Support
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Non-ADD Partner Support This is a support forum for non-ADD partners, spouses, and significant others offering feedback from both the ADD and non-ADD perspectives

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #16  
Old 11-04-17, 04:56 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is online now
 
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: .
Posts: 22,097
Blog Entries: 12
Thanks: 33,843
Thanked 33,358 Times in 15,067 Posts
peripatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Can she stop the infidelity?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JALondon View Post
The only odd habit is occasionally inventing / exaggerating illnesses for the kids, or labels for aspects her life and broadcasting I think to get moral and physical support from friends and family.
i find this really disturbing. i know it's not the focal point of your thread, but... all sorts of red flags are popping up for me here. that's SUPER manipulative and to "invent/exaggerate illnesses for the kids"...holy crap!

in light of that, if nothing else...i really don't know that there's an amicable way to resolve this for the sake of your children. she's using them. i don't mean to be harsh, but that's what's happening. she uses your children to get sympathy.

get a solid divorce attorney and start documenting some things. like, yesterday.

i'm so sorry you're going through this.

my heart aches for you and your children. x
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to peripatetic For This Useful Post:
Cat Noir (11-09-17), OyVeyKitty (11-04-17), sarahsweets (11-04-17)
  #17  
Old 11-04-17, 06:29 PM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 26,823
Thanks: 5,650
Thanked 31,176 Times in 14,304 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Can she stop the infidelity?

Quote:
Originally Posted by peripatetic View Post
i find this really disturbing. i know it's not the focal point of your thread, but... all sorts of red flags are popping up for me here. that's SUPER manipulative and to "invent/exaggerate illnesses for the kids"...holy crap!

in light of that, if nothing else...i really don't know that there's an amicable way to resolve this for the sake of your children. she's using them. i don't mean to be harsh, but that's what's happening. she uses your children to get sympathy.

get a solid divorce attorney and start documenting some things. like, yesterday.

i'm so sorry you're going through this.

my heart aches for you and your children. x
Peri is right. Its all kinds of wrong for anyone to use their children like that.
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post:
peripatetic (11-04-17)
  #18  
Old 12-12-17, 08:45 PM
JALondon JALondon is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: London uk
Posts: 5
Thanks: 4
Thanked 10 Times in 5 Posts
JALondon is on a distinguished road
Re: Can she stop the infidelity?

Thanks Tone. Thanks all. Iíve moved out. Her best friend has told me that the infidelity was constant and started even from the first month we dated. I donít think this is an adhd related behaviour at all. Before we met she had sex with her best friends ex fiancť after a few drinks which must have really hurt her friend. I donít think she can control it as Iíve learnt about public acts like streaking in pubs and at sports events and even a naked sex routine (bananas and spray cream etc) on stage in a bar in front of hundreds of men just because tipsy and some Australians dared her to. Itís not behaviour that I think I could ever trust she could stop if itís that longstanding and that impulsive / uncontrolled.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JALondon For This Useful Post:
Fuzzy12 (12-13-17), WhiteOwl (12-13-17)
Sponsored Links
  #19  
Old 12-13-17, 04:34 AM
DeClutter's Avatar
DeClutter DeClutter is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Home of the Fries (no, they are NOT French!)
Posts: 133
Thanks: 201
Thanked 241 Times in 105 Posts
DeClutter is a splendid one to beholdDeClutter is a splendid one to beholdDeClutter is a splendid one to beholdDeClutter is a splendid one to beholdDeClutter is a splendid one to beholdDeClutter is a splendid one to beholdDeClutter is a splendid one to behold
Re: Can she stop the infidelity?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JALondon View Post
Thanks Tone. Thanks all. Iíve moved out. Her best friend has told me that the infidelity was constant and started even from the first month we dated. I donít think this is an adhd related behaviour at all. Before we met she had sex with her best friends ex fiancť after a few drinks which must have really hurt her friend. I donít think she can control it as Iíve learnt about public acts like streaking in pubs and at sports events and even a naked sex routine (bananas and spray cream etc) on stage in a bar in front of hundreds of men just because tipsy and some Australians dared her to. Itís not behaviour that I think I could ever trust she could stop if itís that longstanding and that impulsive / uncontrolled.
I am so sorry for you, and I can imagine how horrible it must feel to discover that what you thought you had, and what you were holding onto was in the end not what it seemed.

And as you say, i don't think this is the AD(H)D at work, it's a deeper rooted personality issue that makes her look for superficial attention in all the wrong places, while not being able to value true attention within a relationship. The alcohol is just an enhancing factor.

I can imagine that you feel both stupid and betrayed now. But don't be too hard on yourself. She seemed very manipulative and a master in deception from what you describe, so you couldn't have known it all. She was/is not capable to have a healthy relationship with anyone.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DeClutter For This Useful Post:
WhiteOwl (12-13-17)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do I stop thinking and start doing? Drexir General ADD Talk 12 02-20-14 06:08 PM
Really weird thing I can't stop traze23 General ADD Talk 28 05-27-13 06:23 PM
I want to stop Concerta flutterbye Children's Diagnosis & Treatment 14 03-06-11 04:11 AM
Can't Stop ttmolnar Adderall 8 12-07-04 08:04 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:34 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums