Worried about my first appointment

[Worriedoldie]

So last monday I finally got my diagnosis, which is adult ADD. Feels good to finally have some clarity about all this. I don't feel bad about it... actually it's nice to now have some sort of guideline that can help me in understanding myself a little better and maybe it will also help me stop lingering in the past and "what could have been".

Unfortunately due to my family history (cardio deaths amongst all males on my dad side, including my dad who died earlier this year), I have to wait for a consultation with a cardio doc, which is in 2 weeks time, and the following friday, I will, if all is ok with the heart, receive the initial prescription for Motiron which is a cheap ritalin product...

Really looking forward to have these thought cycles quieted down! Patience is virtue I know...

[weiski]

I'm extremely new to this adult ADHD, but do you listen to podcasts? I've found ADHD Rewired with Eric Tivers informative and comforting. The Youtube channel "How to ADHD" with Jessica McCabe is well done and has great strategies as well.

[Worriedoldie]

Originally Posted by weiski

I'm extremely new to this adult ADHD, but do you listen to podcasts? I've found ADHD Rewired with Eric Tivers informative and comforting. The Youtube channel "How to ADHD" with Jessica McCabe is well done and has great strategies as well.

Wauw... that Jessica is so bubbly fun have been binging her videos the last few days. Thank you!

[Worriedoldie]

So... I've had a long christmas... my last appointment was the 15th and I don't have my next till next wednesday.

But during today, I've sort of fallen over a disorder I suffer from and then the mill starts running trying to find out what causes it etc.

Here's my problem... I think I might have messed up some of the personality questions in the questionaire she gave me several months ago. That I wasn't being completely honest when answering, and now I am so affraid what it will do to my relationship to my PDoc and my ongoing treatment.
I suspect that I have underplayed symptoms of anxiety and ocd...

But is it at all possible to have all three? I mean ADD, Anx and OCD? Or could I have been set down the wrong path from the get go because I wasn't honest.
My 54mg slow-release Methylphenidate feels like it wore off hours ago and my thoughts are racing now. What will happen etc

The symptom that set all of this off, is my realising I suffer from Dermatophagia / Wolfbiter. Something I've been stuck with for over 20 years, but always just called "biting my nails".
And... Well, just before x-mas, my gf accidentally broke our hallway closet door, which sparked that I tore down the entire build-in closet and went and bought a new Ikea closet straight away and installed it over the course of two days after which I determined that I didn't wanna look at our grey floor paneling and therefore spend 150 dollars to buy paint and began painting :´(

I mean... looking back, I could have just fixed the damn door!

I really felt I was doing good... but now I just feel ashamed.

[Little Nut]

Hi WO, I am new to reading the thread so you may have to help me a bit.

You sound extremely anxious and maybe a little overwhelmed by trying to figure out how best to proceed. What I can offer is how I would go about addressing items such as this. Ima list kinda guy so my suggestions will be how to go about making an objective list for these matters.

From your posts I see you have recently been diagnosed w/ ADHD and had to get checked out prior to your Doc prescribing ADHD meds. I'll assume you were recently prescribed and are taking the Motiron/Ritalin. Put at the top of your list that you recently started taking this med. Might be a good time to review side effects from Motiron.

First start listing problems/concerns that have started or made worse since you started taking the Motiron/Ritalin. Then add other problems that you want to address/resolve. Don’t worry symptoms will go on another list.

To force objectivity/validation, Next to each concern/problem, write down actual occurrences when this problem presented itself and how it negatively impacted you. Again actual incidents...NOTHING SUPPOSITIONAL. Jot down as many incidents where the problem presented itself w/ specifics. The list may take a few weeks to a few months to compile. Keep the notepad or whatever you use handy so you can capture incidents as they occur. Problems that you cannot come up w/ actual occurrences or feel the impact is trivial may not be valid for you.

From your last post you were concerned that you identified some symptoms that upon reflection you're not sure are valid. Now we can make a list for disorders that concern you. ADHD, OCD, Anxiety Disorders, and/or Dermatophagia. Look over and add symptoms for ADHD that you think you suffer with. Add oother symptoms to your list that you think you suffer with and validate them w/ actual occurrences when this symptom presented itself and how it negatively impacted you. Again actual incidents... NOTHING SUPPOSITIONAL.

Now you have an objective lists for personal problems that you want to address and another objective list of various symptoms you suffer with that you can review w/ your Doc and both figure out how to address.

Hope this makes sense. Regards and GL, -Tom

[Worriedoldie]

So... Finally got to see my PDoc this wednesday and what a relief.

I did a little experiment for myself last weekend where I took 2x 54mg Extended release, since the first one I take at 6 am runs out around 12 / 1 pm. And I had a long work sunday... so... but I ackknowledge that it was far too much. Made me jittery. 2x 54mg correlates roughly to 94mg instant release.

Anyways, I told my PDoc about it and about how badly we had calculated my remaining booster pills before xmax.

So she perscriped my 1x 54, 1x36mg and a 10mg IR (only if needed in the afternoon!). That has made all the difference. I had taken hold of my impuls control again and I feel covered up until nighttime at the moment.

But also taught me a bit about myself and my reactions when not covered. I need to find calm so how, so I don't drive myself out of that "oh my god I'm really unstable!!" road...

Thankfully this setup has also deminished my dermatophagia again, or... again... impulse control.

I hope this will be the last turn for a while now. I just want to see now how this plays out in the long run.

Thanks for taking the time to read and replying to my posts. It's appreciated!