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Old 02-08-18, 08:18 PM
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Could it be ADHD after all?

I'd pretty much convinced myself that I didn't have ADHD. I've always doubted it. I've always felt fake (or like retromancer said that I'm just after performance enhancing drugs). The last few months have been so bad though that I'm entertaining the possibility again.

I've been at home since October (without fuzzling, my little girl so I've had lots of free time.) I had so many plans, things that I wanted to do and had to do but I hardly or anything done. I spent my time sleeping eating and browsing the internet. Almost 4 months. I'm returning to work next week and I can't believe I've wasted this time. I'm probably never going to have again a few days just for myself.

Besides that I've still got the same dilemma. How I find the criteria perfectly but I didn't as a child. Could I have had such mitigating factors that it didn't trouble me so much as a child?

How is wish there was a simple test.
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  #2  
Old 02-08-18, 09:43 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I'd pretty much convinced myself that I didn't have ADHD. I've always doubted it. I've always felt fake (or like retromancer said that I'm just after performance enhancing drugs). The last few months have been so bad though that I'm entertaining the possibility again.

I've been at home since October (without fuzzling, my little girl so I've had lots of free time.) I had so many plans, things that I wanted to do and had to do but I hardly or anything done. I spent my time sleeping eating and browsing the internet. Almost 4 months. I'm returning to work next week and I can't believe I've wasted this time. I'm probably never going to have again a few days just for myself.

Besides that I've still got the same dilemma. How I find the criteria perfectly but I didn't as a child. Could I have had such mitigating factors that it didn't trouble me so much as a child?

How is wish there was a simple test.
Hey Fuzzy,
Have you ever been officially diagnosed with ADHD, or tried any treatments? Sorry, I can’t remember.

I think being inattentive can be more difficult to recognize in children especially if they are smart enough to figure out a way to get by. I went from being mostly hyperactive as a child and began to become more inattentive just after puberty.

It occurred at a time when life, school, social life, girls, parental expectations and added responsibilities weighed me down too much. I let down myself and so many others down besides making a fool out of myself being the class clown.

The pressure of life seems to have beaten all the hyper fun and excitement out of me, I still miss as a child. Just totally inattentive now usually just trying to avoid anxiety and reality.

Anyway, I’m sorry for going on. This thread isn’t about me. My whole point was that I think being a child and being inattentive is difficult to recognize because the behavior fits in better with their peers. Behavior is pretty close at young ages and easier to dismiss as normal solely in my opinion.
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Old 02-08-18, 09:50 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

Yes, I was diagnosed a few years ago. Twice actually by two different psychiatrists. I took stimulants for about 2 years and they made a huge difference. I guess things that they'd help anyone. ADHD or not.

I think the main reason why I just can't believe that I have ADHD comes down to numbers. I mean, ADHD ADHD is pretty rare. How likely is it that I of all people should have it? It just seems to so sk unlikely.
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Old 02-08-18, 10:44 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

I’m not sure what the official numbers are for ADHD but let’s say 5%. 1 out of 20. Not really that unlikely. It’s not like getting hit by lightning or winning the Lottery.

Have any Dr’s or specialists ever evaluated you and said you didn’t have ADHD? If not then you should follow the numbers from specialists and your diagnoses. It’s 100%. You’re 2 for 2.

You mentioned medication helped in the past. You sound like you need some help right now. Why not?

Last edited by Greyhound1; 02-08-18 at 10:49 PM.. Reason: Typos everywhere
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Old 02-08-18, 11:30 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

I don't know about ya'll...but I just tell people I have ADD so that I have an excuse to hang out with all the people on ADDF.com.
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Old 02-09-18, 04:27 AM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I'd pretty much convinced myself that I didn't have ADHD. I've always doubted it. I've always felt fake (or like retromancer said that I'm just after performance enhancing drugs). The last few months have been so bad though that I'm entertaining the possibility again.
When did retro say that??

Quote:
I've been at home since October (without fuzzling, my little girl so I've had lots of free time.) I had so many plans, things that I wanted to do and had to do but I hardly or anything done. I spent my time sleeping eating and browsing the internet. Almost 4 months. I'm returning to work next week and I can't believe I've wasted this time. I'm probably never going to have again a few days just for myself.
Time is just time. You can say you wasted it but I feel like even if you had gotten certain things done you would say you wasted time and should have gotten more done. You are so hard on yourself.

Quote:
Besides that I've still got the same dilemma. How I find the criteria perfectly but I didn't as a child. Could I have had such mitigating factors that it didn't trouble me so much as a child?
You are a smart girl and I have heard you tell other people how hard it is to diagnose adhd in girls and how they are often overlooked.
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Old 02-09-18, 08:06 AM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
Yes, I was diagnosed a few years ago. Twice actually by two different psychiatrists. I took stimulants for about 2 years and they made a huge difference. I guess things that they'd help anyone. ADHD or not.

I think the main reason why I just can't believe that I have ADHD comes down to numbers. I mean, ADHD ADHD is pretty rare. How likely is it that I of all people should have it? It just seems to so sk unlikely.
Doubt no more!
If you got diagnosed twice, AND the stimulants made a huge difference, you don't need to ask "if".

As for "Why", we may speculate about this, and wonder, and that's a very good thing, actually
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Old 02-09-18, 04:27 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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Originally Posted by Greyhound1 View Post
I’m not sure what the official numbers are for ADHD but let’s say 5%. 1 out of 20. Not really that unlikely. It’s not like getting hit by lightning or winning the Lottery.

Have any Dr’s or specialists ever evaluated you and said you didn’t have ADHD? If not then you should follow the numbers from specialists and your diagnoses. It’s 100%. You’re 2 for 2.

You mentioned medication helped in the past. You sound like you need some help right now. Why not?
The first psychiatrist I saw said I don't have ADHD (because I wasn't impaired enough: I wasn't unemployed, had a degree, had a long term relationship and had never had trouble with the law.) He said that all my issues are caused by depression. Then I saw a private psychiatrist who said that I fulfil all the criteria for adult ADHD but he wasn't sure because about my childhood (and also because hubby told him I'm super indecisive, which according to him adhders never are. He said they make decisions impulsively so can't he indecisive).

He recommended treating the Depression aggressively and then reassessing. So that didn't work. Anti depressants didn't help. Then I saw another psychiatrist on my GP's suggestion and was diagnosed with bipolar disorders II. The mood stabilizer didn't help either but I tried that and more anti depressants for another year or so.

Then I saw a psychiatrist who specialises in ADHD and he diagnosed me then finally with ADHD. We had a long talk and he said that my childhood experience wasn't that unusual and that's how girls with ADHD often present in childhood.

He recommended treatment but when I took his recommendation to my GP she refused to follow the plan he laid out (she doesn't believe in adult ADHD or in stimulants). So she referred me back to the NHS psychiatrist. Thankfully my usual psychiatrist wasn't available and I got to see a locum. He said he had lots of experience with ADHD and had diagnosed and treated it for years. So he assessed me again and he confirmed the ADHD diagnosis. So now because an experienced NHS psychiatrist had diagnosed me my usual psychiatrist had to follow his recommendation and treat me. Since then none of them hace questioned it anymore.

Sorry long story and you probably didn't want to know the details but yeah, it's complicated.
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Old 02-09-18, 04:32 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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I don't know about ya'll...but I just tell people I have ADD so that I have an excuse to hang out with all the people on ADDF.com.
Me too but shhh
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Old 02-09-18, 04:35 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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When did retro say that??


Time is just time. You can say you wasted it but I feel like even if you had gotten certain things done you would say you wasted time and should have gotten more done. You are so hard on yourself.


You are a smart girl and I have heard you tell other people how hard it is to diagnose adhd in girls and how they are often overlooked.
Retro said that pretty soon after I joined...in 2012, well before I got diagnosed. I've felt like a fake even since then. I know I shouldn't have let it get to me but somehow it left a permanent impression.

I'm hard on myself verbally but I wonder if maybe i don't push myself hard enough. Maybe I can try harder aka maybe I'm just lazy.
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Old 02-09-18, 04:55 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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Doubt no more!
If you got diagnosed twice, AND the stimulants made a huge difference, you don't need to ask "if".

As for "Why", we may speculate about this, and wonder, and that's a very good thing, actually
The stimulants helped like crazy. Even with things I never knew were related to ADHD like emotional regulation.

The crazy thing is what it is that's wrong with me it's pretty close to adhd. My theory is that maybe I was born with mild ADHD (my mom and brother show traits as well though they don't admit it) because some of my childhood and teenage experiences only make sense if I had ADHD. Like not being able to study or pay attention in class once I stopped being interested at age 12 or so, cramming before deadlines, the emotional regulation problems, the eating disorder, the stimulation seeking, the inability to deal with boredom, my inability to follow conversations in a group, which made me super uncomfortable in groups, etc. So and then I think the depression hit and caused permanent damage, which exacerbated the adhd symptoms a million times.

Today was crazy but typical. I've spent a few months having lots of free time but I didn't do much. Last year fuzzling started going to the nursery. At first just half days. At that time id waste about 2h and then quickly prepare a meal and shower in the last 2h or so. Then she started going full time and I thought now I'd be able to get so much done when she's at nursery. But now Id waste about 6h and then in the last 2h prepare a meal and shower.. it's always the same. I still can only work as the deadline approaches.

So today fuzzling was at home but so was hubby so he took her for a short while and in which I finally got my blood test done and went for a run. And then when fuzzling was napping for an hour and half i managed in that time to cook, tidy up a bit, food some clothes and finally fix the cupboard locks. I was more productive today than I've been in the last few months when I had tons of free time.

And I know this is how I was when fuzzling was at home still. I managed to do stuff when she was napping and that is what convinced me that I can't have adhd. When she was was awake I did well because I had to attend to her immediate needs. So that was easy. When she was asleep I knew I only had about an hour or so, so I managed to he fairly productive.

It's when I was faced with lots of free hours that I just wasn't able to move at all.

So to me it does sound like ADHD. I mean I'm as fuzzy and forgetful and error prone as always but I'd out that down to baby brain and lack of sleep but it's really just how I've always been.

Sorry I'm rambling. I'm trying to clear things in my head.

Theoretically it does sound like ADHD to me but it's just so difficult to believe. I know that 5% isn't that little but even so. Isn't it just much more likely that I'm just lazy, crazy and stupid???
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Old 02-09-18, 04:59 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

A lot of girls, especially bright girls who do well academically, slip through the cracks.

I graduated with a degree in elementary education in the early '90's (not so long ago) from one of the best teacher prep schools in my state and never learned about girls having ADHD or Inattentive ADD or Dyscalculia, which I was also diagnosed with when I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADD in 2010.

Even if you did present growing up but your teachers, parents and doctor aren't aware it exists or don't believe in it, especially if you did well academically, then nothing they saw would clue them in.

As someone said you are 2/2 as far as psychiatrists diagnosing it then the anti-depressants and mood stabilizers didn't work but the ADHD meds did.

Look at it like research. If it were put to the test: what does the evidence show?
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Old 02-09-18, 05:20 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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A lot of girls, especially bright girls who do well academically, slip through the cracks.

I graduated with a degree in elementary education in the early '90's (not so long ago) from one of the best teacher prep schools in my state and never learned about girls having ADHD or Inattentive ADD or Dyscalculia, which I was also diagnosed with when I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADD in 2010.

Even if you did present growing up but your teachers, parents and doctor aren't aware it exists or don't believe in it, especially if you did well academically, then nothing they saw would clue them in.

As someone said you are 2/2 as far as psychiatrists diagnosing it then the anti-depressants and mood stabilizers didn't work but the ADHD meds did.

Look at it like research. If it were put to the test: what does the evidence show?
What does the evidence show? Good question. I'm really not sure.

Maybe it is baby brain (or maybe just because I haven't done anything else in the last 18 months). I mean these days my brain is super muddled. I don't know if you guys have noticed but I think my posts have become even more rambling. I start a post, lose the thread halfway and am incapable of really making any point whatsoever. Lots of times I also fall asleep while posting. In addition, with the crazy stuff auto correction spits out I'm honestly amazing how anyone understands anything I write.
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Old 02-09-18, 05:29 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
Theoretically it does sound like ADHD to me but it's just so difficult to believe.
Why?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
Isn't it just much more likely that I'm just lazy, crazy and stupid???
No, it is not.

ADHD is a disorder one can have.

Lazy, crazy, and stupid are moral judgements applied to a person, so they are never an inherent quality of the person deemed as such.


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Old 02-09-18, 05:33 PM
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Re: Could it be ADHD after all?

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Why?



No, it is not.

ADHD is a disorder one can have.

Lazy, crazy, and stupid are moral judgements applied to a person, so they are never an inherent quality of the person deemed as such.


Cheers,
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I don't know why it's so difficult to believe. Maybe it just doesn't fit into the life long narrative I've held about myself. It just seems too convenient you know? Too much like an excuse? (Not for anyone else. Just for me. I do totally believe in ADHD. I just doubt this particular instance. My instance)

Yes I agree @ lazy crazy and stupid. Also these are just terms and I'm not sure what they mean. How is being lazy different from having ADHD. If you can't stop yourself from being lazy, if it's not a choice is that ADHD then (I mean an aspect of ADHD). Is that still lazy? What is it? What's causing the laziness and the inability to overcome it?
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