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  #1  
Old 12-16-06, 03:36 PM
!Matt! !Matt! is offline
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Smile Hi, new here - !Matt! from Northern Ireland

Hi, I'm new to this place but it looks like a great forum. Anyway as I get overwhelmed by any task ahead of me I'm just going to copy the introductory post I just made in another forum. Otherwise I'd be forever trying to copy it. It was just written in a burst as if I'd given it any prior thought I'd have thought of a million reasons not to do it and never settled. Anyway:

"Hi, this is probably going to sound like a load of nonsense. Any way I'll babble on. I saw this forum a few years ago and have been meaning to post ever since. Thing is, I take forever to get around to doing anything. I just can't settle - mentally that is, physically I'm a total slouch. My life is rubbish. I'm unemployed and a loner - I have no friends or social life. I'm always muddled- even puttting this post in a reasonable order is beyond me. I'm riddled with anxiety about everything and never act spontaneously - except this time as otherwise I'd have never got round to posting this. If I give any prior thought to a task, social interation or activity I become completely overwhelmed by the details and all the possible things that could go wrong. In short I avoid doing it - I usually escape into a daydream about something I can obsess over instead. That's why to post this I just had to register and go for it without any thought. Otherwise I'd be obsessing over spelling mistakes, sentence structure, punctuation, paragraph length, how I sounded, would I look stupid, would this achieve anything, was there a point, would I rather be doing something else, would I enjoy this, would people criticise me, would they be hostile, is this the right forum and on and on... Eventually I become frustrated and overwhelmed and escape into some sort of what I can only describe as daydream. You'll notice I've written this all as one paragraph as if I attempted to introduce paragraphs I'd likely become overwhelmed with doing it exactly right, to my mind at least and would give up. I cannot bear making mistakes, especially in front of others. I always avoid tasks or social occasions where I believe - note, this might have no bearing on what will actually happen - that I'll be judged or seen in a negative light or rejected. I develop long running obsessions over activities, hobbies or sports etc. that I think I can throw myself into to the exclusion of all else. I become totally obsessed and years go by and I've done nothing else. I try to avoid uncertainty by trying to prefigure every interaction with other people and become frustrated when I can't do this. LIke this post now I want to get everything in before anyone else gets a word in edgeways and now that I see I haven't even begun to cover a fraction of my problems I'm getting very frustrated and down that this will somehow have been a total waste of time.

New paragraph - aagh, this layout is a mess. My mind is beginning to wander now. so to shorten (never normally do this). I went to a mental health place a year or so ago and I've been seeing a psychiatric nurse while they try to figure out what's wrong with me. I've had one consultation so far and another is due next week. The waiting list I'm on will still take another year and a half to come up for treatment Very depressing. They think at this stage that I've some combination of OCD and ADD and there's even a thought that I might have some form of autism. I've been taking 40mg of fluoxetine daily now for about a year on their instructions. It stops me getting down but doesn't seem to do anything to help my mind settle to do things or stop obsessions.

Aaaaagh, I would never normally post something like this on an internet forum. It's just so disordered and messy. There's no proper order to it. I've written this without any agonising over how each senctence/paragraph should be structured. I'd normally be far too embarassed by looking like a moron for posting something like this. As you can see I get mired in the detail of things and often loose the real point of doing them in the first place.

I live in Northern Ireland. I'll stop now. "

I hope I can get some relief or improvement through this forum or the other one.
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Old 12-16-06, 04:44 PM
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Old 12-16-06, 05:56 PM
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hay, no worries.

Great to have you as part of the forum, members are very supportive.

As for the spelling and grammer, don't worry about it. My spelling and grammer sucks, no one on this forum seems to care, well, at least not that I have noticed. Even if someone did care, I doubt they would say anything.

Enjoy the forum, don't be scared to post.
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Old 12-16-06, 06:55 PM
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Welcome!!!
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Old 12-16-06, 06:59 PM
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Hello! Yes this is a great forum! I hope you like it here!
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Old 12-16-06, 07:19 PM
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Welcome, and I hope you'll find as much help on this forum as I have (lots!!)
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Old 12-16-06, 07:27 PM
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  #8  
Old 12-17-06, 07:08 AM
!Matt! !Matt! is offline
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Thanks for the welcomes.
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Old 12-19-06, 03:05 PM
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Hi !Matt!

You must be psychic 'cause you typed out pretty much what's going on in my head on a daily (hourly?) basis. Especially the part about becoming overwhelmed when you think too much. That's me to a 't'.

I'm recently diagnosed myself, but I have done some cognitive therapy in the past & it's really helped me get a hold of my thoughts before they take off. Have you looked into that as something you can do while you're on the year-and-a-half wait list? I *highly* recommend Dr. David Burns "Feeling Good Handbook". Although I must say the corny title and "cheery" bright yellow cover made me want to bang my head on a wall when I first got it. lol.

BTW, I was in Northern Ireland in 2004 and loved it! Beautiful country, lovely people

Cheers!
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Old 12-19-06, 03:09 PM
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Are you anywhere near Burren College of Art-or something of that name?

Welcome! Ah, the Irish blood, I do believe you are the fayerst Irishman in these fair parts! Guiness gracious!

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Old 12-25-06, 07:33 PM
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Hi again, as usual when I tune in here I'm in a bit of a daze and not really able to give much of a response. Thanks for the further welcomes. raddmom, I'm not near the Burren College of Art (don't know the name either) as it's in Co. Clare and I'm much further north in Co. Fermanagh. Now if I didn't have add I'd probably provide a map or link to one showing the different locations but I'm afraid I can barely do very much most days... sorry.

Thanks too Maple Syrup, I've really got to research the various book titles people have mentioned to me so far. But it often takes me months if not longer to get around to doing anything constructive. Aaagh, it's so annoying.

I really wanted to wish everyone a merry Christmas as it still isn't over where I live yet, and you guys in America are a good few hours behind so the turkey must still be warm.
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Old 12-25-06, 08:15 PM
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Howdy, from TEXAS!!



(PS: My GGGrandmother came to the states from Ireland
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Old 12-25-06, 10:04 PM
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A warm welcome to you.
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Old 01-03-07, 11:02 AM
!Matt! !Matt! is offline
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Thanks somemore. I'm back again after a few days daydreaming/obssessing . I hope to work up enough energy to make a few more posts today - even though my internet connection is desperately slow broadband Anyway, I'll have a 'newer' computer arriving by mail today or tomorrow - then it'll be unto broadband and a lot less knashing of teeth.
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Old 01-26-07, 05:50 PM
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Welcome !Matt!. Have fun on the forums.

Andy.
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