How to Spot an Abuser on Your First Date

[OHPE]

Originally Posted by Stabile

It’s not that simple.
We all come complete with two mating strategies, one modern, one primitive. We’ve been here before, but I guess it’s time for a reminder…

It didn’t have the same impetus, though, for reasons that should be or will become obvious.

We are being real, and males are the problem.

Oh Dear..... I fear 1+1 is being made to look like 4.......

Why two? Why not 15?

And "Modern" is relative.....

One "distilled by myself" premise, from Stabile:

{
Men are orgasm driven DNA "proliferators"(survival of the organism).

That may very well be the case,
but the only true part of that sentence is "orgasm driven"

Women are just as driven DNA "proliferators"(there's that word survival again), the motive is simply not orgasm. It is survival, which if you look it up evolutionarily means to pass on one's genes.

Remember humanism has been turned off in this paragraph for the very simple reason that we are not the only species to go romping around doing the same old things, no moral judgement here just a statement of the acts humanity relative to other species.
(If you only knew what we do to other species behind closed doors....)

This is all a straw man though, for without sexual compulsion(yes that's a reference to men), without strategic mate selection(reference to women), and yes in some rare other species this is reversed.

All of us interesting people wouldn't be sitting here arguing, laughing, sympathizing, praising, and exhibiting all the characteristics of modern (500 B.C to 2000 A.D.) humans, becuase our parent's would have failed to manufacture us.

You're fighting over the mechanism, "Orgasm is primitive, it's downright Reptilian!"
}

Funny Aside = Don't take this part seriously
Cut to a group of lizards in the LA chaparral making fun of all the two legged beasts around them running around not hunting, not mating and not producing as many offspring as possible, and one of them quips, my ancestors survived flaming balls of death raining from the skies, vast frozen oceans on land, and constant war. We made it all the way here 200 millions years of winning, and we have to put up with THIS...

Sur·viv·al
–noun
1. The act or fact of surviving, esp. under adverse or unusual circumstances.

Let chattel marriage be the unusual or adverse circumstance, (see precursors to first wave of feminism.)

In this context (thread) it has been framed to mean escape from violence, mental or physical.
But to survive does not mean to escape or avoid, to survive means to withstand and continue living regardless. (Happiness has not been factored in yet)

I hope you're beginning to see that the past was so unrelentingly violent so far different from this 21st century definition of normal, that we modern people, don't realize that our little command center in the neocortex sees this world in the context of "justice" and "right vs wrong", (and bless it's little neurons I agree, how couldn't I? I have a neocortex too...)

But to stop there is to make a grave error, for behind the facade of the neocortex lies the machinery of survival.

Machinery that lived in the hell of the past, and proved it's mettle through survival (see definition above).
Should we all revert to that machinery, of course not, but don't ignore it....

To call these brain configurations "disorders" just seems to presuppose that a 21st century, state of affairs existed through all the epochs of our world....

It just wasn't so, the dinosaurs didn't have DSL!!!

Originally Posted by Stabile

like it or not. It’s your evolutionary heritage; deny it and refuse to come to terms with your own self, and you simply replicate the problem.

Wow..... I agree completely, too bad "the problem" means something entirely
different to me than to you, Stabile....

Well not really, I also do not condone the inflicting of harm onto others by a sufferer, but we're not talking about that now are we?

To you it's perpetuating of a set of behaviors, to me it's..... why it's just blindness....

Monoperspectivism (Yes I just made that up but you're smart enough to understand the three meanings there.)

Originally Posted by Stabile

Go back and look at our first several posts carefully. Once you get past the built-in male reaction to anything that seems to threaten your evolutionary ‘right’ to mate using the primitive strategy, you’ll see we’re presenting the first and so far only analysis in human history to unravel this problem.

This "problem" exists only so far as there is a oversupply of food and energy to beat back other interests (competing on this planet for control, ergo cultural/political survival.) enough to enable a worldview which has enough free time to turn it's attention to other pursuits, humanism.

Speaking of which let's turn that on now...

That's right people have inherent value in and of their own sakes.

To the preceding world, could a concept seem any more alien?

Originally Posted by Stabile

The modern strategy has a completely different metric for pleasure, one which makes the primitive strategy seem like hitting yourself in the head with a rock by comparison.

Only if you can afford not to:

Starve
Be invaded by other countries
Be subject to random wars for which you are caught in the crossfire
aka (You didn't break it but you have to pay.)

Hold on these three lines have wonderful metaphoric links to mental health.
Remember them because the keyword is Sesame Street!

Originally Posted by Stabile

If that isn’t enough, maybe this: the female version of the primitive strategy doesn’t actually have a metric for pleasure per se. There’s a behavioral role indicating pleasure built in, but it’s primarily a form of deception, mainly for the male, but often taken at face value by the female, too, sad to say.

He's talking about the paradigm of human civilizations up to about 1920 A.D. ergo male dominated society.

This is sadly predicated on Argumentum ad misericordiam known to english ears as the fallacy of Appeal to pity.

But why split hairs lets just predicate it on the victors (of any struggle) writing the account of said struggle in their own voice and image. In nature organisms do a similar thing when a more successful species overcrowds, simply hunts to extinction, or parasitically exploits another.

Of course that's interpretation, but you can't dismiss it out of hand without seeing the parallels.
Just replace (civilization) with (organism).

Let's get the polyperspective party started.
(Ok I'll stop with the funny names, maybe just one more...? )

It's late and I'm beginning to regret wasting the time, but when I see absolutists being praised, for butchering logic, with no regard for the deep past, that, by the way is still sitting in their own DNA, like yesterdays dirty garbage, well I just can't help it...

Originally Posted by Stabile

To be blunt about it, male orgasms associated with the primitive strategy are purposely quick and weak (likely a contributor to the current stats on what Kay calls 'a reptile dysfunction'), and orgasms aren’t a part of the female version. The primary goal for females is survival.

After this post how could the above look blunt by any measure?

It's positively genteel!

Enough already, I agree with you, (sort of).....

This is a process argument, not a pattern arugment, we all agree that survival is
good, we disagree on the particular process.

Abuser damaging non abuser, survival through benevolence over malevolence.

By the way the "male" in malevolence, doesn't stem from man, it stems from Malice.

Malice is a term referring to a party's intention to do injury to another party.

Benevolence is the expression of kindness and altruism.


Not completely unrelated to this is:

Class Y (tip of a pendulum) is in power and seeks to increase it's ability to proliferate DNA (seeks toward higher kinetic energy, but less potential energy), through any means

Class Y succeeds...

The environment changes which undercut's Class Y's means of control (always through removal of it's advantage, this state usually correlates with extreme exploitation of Class X.

Class X having gained the means to proliferate unhindered, does so, it undermines Class Y.
Gains power and condemns Class Y's for it's means. Demanding that Class Y, (unacknowledged that it is biologically distinct from Class X), adopt Class X's behaviors, asserting them benevolent and superior.

What Class X doesn't see is that it will inexorably assume the former state of Class Y,
at which time the whole process will repeat. Intervals between environment change may vary but the process is always the same.

If the system is polyclass (more that two classes) power flows from the most advantaged to the 2nd most advantaged.

The real mind bender is not who is "superior" but that "superior" itself
is a ball on the field constantly changing hands, based on the situation at hand.



As the Eagles so succinctly put it.... "Everything is dust in the wind"



Personally, I don't believe that Men are "Gigantic penis controlled weapon wielding monsters"....

"Sound of tires screeching to a halt."

How did Feminism poke it's head into a mental health thread anyway?

Hello?!

A very simple explanation is this:

If a potential date behaves in a way that seems out of the norm, there could be many reasons for this. Some reasons could be transient "He/She had a bad day", these are usually, not always, but usually less deeply rooted behaviors, owing to their transient state, however some mental disorders visit all manner of hell on a sufferer and their companion in a very transient manner. (this enables the emotionally bruised man haters to point out the seeming nice guy who turns psychotic from his past conditioning/biological predispositions, as general indications to watch out for in all men (You Have to vacuum the carpet if you're gonna remove the gravel, right?).

But these "abuser filter" carpet vacs have allegorical razor blades that damage the whole carpet going under them, and this negative interaction damages the filterers themselves too.

(I soooo wanna say configuration because it's only a disorder if it impedes your survival, my god schizophrenic shamen/shawomen thousands of years ago were thought to be communing with the afterlife, but this is out of context and relevance valid but irrelevant....)

A much better approach is to label abusers as, "sufferers" of a modern disorder, who exhibit abusive characteristics.

A vastly more enlightened question then arises, "What could have caused this." Locking up all the criminals may grant temporary respite, but it does NOT eliminate the root causes which created the criminals to begin with.


Teaching women to be paranoid marginally protects them from harm, while inflicting a paranoid world view on them. (Which polarized people argue is better than being harmed.)

Thats like saying let's all undergo radiation therapy because it's better than having cancer.....

You want to eliminate harm stemming from abuse?

Eliminate the cause.

Law is not concerned with this holistic view of a social environment, law is a much simpler mechanism.
Law is an "if->then" statement with a bunch of cases we call precedents.

And Law cannot do that, because it was never designed to eliminate causes, law is reactionary

(And pepper spray may be a good interim measure, Hell I live in a nice neighborhood and I bought my girlfriend a taser(right after her car was broken into))

And no and I'm not a Republican
(I said Taser, not a revolver, it's a subtle difference:
Coffin vs Emergency room visit)......

If you want to solve the ills of the abused Remember Sesame Street! (assuming the original harm was caused by other people, parent's, past relationships,) I'm talking about the primary abused who turn into sufferers and then cause secondary harm.

What's truly sad is that during the "abuser" witch hunt, people with benign OCD or ADD are likely to be caught up and punished like dolphins in a tuna net.

Well to tackle that, you're going to have to unleash full blown scientific method on the entire social ecosystem.

Lacking the constitution for that we fall to formulaic "punishment strategies" and "witchhunt" primers.

Smells like the inquisition....

I would like to apologize in advance for my punctuation mistakes.

Wow!, that was stimulating, the dopamine took it's ball and went home.....
Good night (Good morning actually) all...