Carrying a load of problems into college
So I was diagnosed with ADD and GAD with obsessive compulsive tendencies by two doctors when I was 16. I have a hard time believing that I have all of that but everytime I sit down and think about it, I find that I fit the descriptions the doctors show me more and more. I was put on lexapro, zoloft, and celexa when I was 16 - 18 but to no avail. (my dad claimed that they help his GAD so I said what the heck)
I have also been on concerta, ritalin, and am currently on adderall.
I am in SUNY oswego now and am lucky that I made it here in my point of view. But because I am an introverted sort of person I have not made any real friends in my 4 weeks here. I find that everytime I am presented with an oportunity to talk with a stranger wether it be a girl or guy, I freeze up and just go into a silent panic and just stand there with a fake comfortable look on my face staring off at some random object. I often weird people out and make others assume that I am stuck up or just a quiet nerd. Yet at the same time I do enjoy being around others occasionally but cant figure out how to convey that and get over my fear of saying something dumb or "not cool." The college jocks here seem to just be full of random worthless and meaningful conversation that impress and arrouse the shallow girls here. And to make it worse I left my handful of close friends behind in cortland. One of wich also has ADD but doesnt like the idea of stimulant aids. (I dont blame him)
BTW: I am actually a pretty good lookin guy, but because I dont have a library of meaningless conversation topics to consult I dont appeal to the girls (who I dont think are even worth impressing in the first place......but hey, they ARE good looking!!)
Any advice for a guy lost in a cloud of mental wheel-spinning?