How much of it is the ADD !

[Wonderboy]

Hey y'all !

a little question which has been "running through my mind" lately !!!
When you do stuff, do you ever wonder "waw, would this be my ADD ? or is it just 'my personality'".... ?

for example... i see a lot of people on here attributing things to ADD which can / could / may be influenced but which in my opinion aren't necessarily related....

I am always late for my bus = is this my add ? ... probably...
I keep loosing papers and receipts = is this my add ? ... big chance...

but

I talk a lot and some people find me obnoxious = maybe i have just an "annoying" personality ?

or "I cant handle criticism very well" = maybe i'm just oversensitive....

or "i listen to the same song over and over again"... = maybe i just really LOVE that song !

Don't know if my question makes sense, but i'm wondering how much of these things are really ADD related and not just "the way you are / were raised".... ? Do you ever ask yourself this question ?

* i'll probably edit this post later to make it have more sense * lol

[XavierQ]

It's both. You can't separate them. ADD defined your personality and your personality is how you cope with having ADD.

For example, maybe you can't handle criticism because you had to take a lot of it during high school? ADD does not have sensitivity to criticism as a symptom. However, if people always criticized you and told you you're not trying hard enough, even though you do but your ADD is getting in your way...you might end up being oversensitive to criticism.

[Song of Mercy]

I have an issue along these lines that I am working through right now. I have a tendancy to just not care about stuff. I think on some level that due to adhd and comorbids there have been things I have tried to do that were somewhat beyond me and so I kinda just gave up putting my best foot forward. Now, I have stepped back some and realized that I can do better in certain area's of my life. There are times I will behave or react in way these days and later I have to ask myself if that is due to a condition, or perhaps it is an area of my personality ect. to work through.

I am seeing a councelor again, finally, and she holds me more responsible for things than I do. Yet, with her insight I find myself able to accomplish things that I had just blown off.

Nice thread!

Song

[AirJordanV]

Originally Posted by Wonderboy

"i listen to the same song over and over again"... = maybe i just really LOVE that song !

Is this, do we think, the ADD?

I do this ALL the time.

[lemming85]

Originally Posted by AirJordanV

Is this, do we think, the ADD?

I do this ALL the time.

that's hard to say-- I mean, what we're basically doing is sharing our stories on how we work and finding suprising similarities in those stories. It can be hard to tell if those are ADD characteristics, or just part of being human. For example, there can be a bit of a tendency here to say I like/often do [random thing] and someone else will immediately chime in, omg, so do I! I didn't know it was an ADD thing!

[Wonderboy]

Originally Posted by lemming85

that's hard to say-- I mean, what we're basically doing is sharing our stories on how we work and finding suprising similarities in those stories. It can be hard to tell if those are ADD characteristics, or just part of being human. For example, there can be a bit of a tendency here to say I like/often do [random thing] and someone else will immediately chime in, omg, so do I! I didn't know it was an ADD thing!

That's a bit my point... i could for example say
"oh, i have ADD and i have noticed that "because of this add" i need to check my phone every 10 minutes for new messages".... and of course, other people do this is as well... so i could say "oh, well than this must be ADD for sure"... but then again, if i'd post the same message on a forum for "dog-lovers" for example, i'm sure that 4 or 5 people on there would do the same too, and it wouldn't necessarily be "because they love dogs" !! lol

A question i have along with this is the question of "accountability".... it just seems to easy to say to myself "Ok, i'm bad at paperwork, but that's my ADD so i'll just keep on being messy and not do my paperwork".... no, i think when you have ADD, you are indeed more likely to s*ck at paperwork, but could your personality be such that you are more motivated than others to find ways / methods / tricks to deal with it ..... or am i wrong ?

[sarek]

Originally Posted by XavierQ

It's both. You can't separate them. ADD defined your personality and your personality is how you cope with having ADD.

Completely right. I would even go a step further. ADD is simply part of the way you think and act and has been from the day you were born. Its not some kind of afterthought tacked on. Its an integrated part of you.

You can never look at any particular action(or inaction!) and say, ok thats 50% add, 30% anxiety and 20% character flaw. It simply does not work that way.
And beware of over analysing(which we are prone to do anyway) because that can get you in a very unproductive feedback loop making you question everything you do.

[Alle]

Originally Posted by Wonderboy

A question i have along with this is the question of "accountability".... it just seems to easy to say to myself "Ok, i'm bad at paperwork, but that's my ADD so i'll just keep on being messy and not do my paperwork".... no, i think when you have ADD, you are indeed more likely to s*ck at paperwork, but could your personality be such that you are more motivated than others to find ways / methods / tricks to deal with it ..... or am i wrong ?

Yeah, I agree, it is hard to separate. Can't really be separated, but yet ADHD is only one thing we are influenced by. It may influence everything strongly (it even influences my OCD), but at the same time so many other things are influencing everything as well. I don't think it's ever really not an influence, but that doesn't mean it makes all our actions SO much different then other peoples. We are just slightly different, slightly off. It's probably better just to focus on areas that our actions and processing actually pose a problem for us. That are significant and extreme for us. We don't need to try to change everything about us, but at the same time we don't need to make excuses to not try to change whatever is a problem for us. It doesn't matter if it is more difficult to change because of the executive functioning limitations. That's not an excuse to just give up and not try to be stronger then it or find tools and ways to get around it or trick our mind for motivation etc.

There seems to be too much assumption in many of the things I read regarding ADD, to generalize and lump ADD "personalities" together. As though there is an "ADD personality" and a "non-ADD personality." That is just simply not true. Everyone's personality and interests are unique. A unique combination of influences that make up 'them'. NT's are just as unique and varied in their personalities. And ADD people, the only thing we have in common, are common traits, that have their own variance and severity. Boredom, impatience, procrastination, low tolerance, mind wandering, disorganized thoughts, fragmented thinking, low control of attention and focus shifting, working memory dysfunctions, stimulation craving, deficient beta brainwaves, etc. etc. etc. How those symptoms and traits manifest in actual daily events and behaviors will depend on our individual personalities, interests, skills, strengths, circumstances and environments, etc. etc. There will be some common overlaps, obviously. Like the great trend of disorganization and piles is a manifestation with enough frequency to become significant enough for 'causality'. Many other things may have too few and far between overlaps with others manifestations in life, and people try to reach too far with them, looking for more 'correlations'. It is interesting though, which is why we do it I guess, to find out more about ourselves and see if there is a high trend in certain things that we wonder about being highly influenced by our ADD.

[y00ch]

This is a topic that ALWAYS comes up. Because why? Because we have a small amount of doubt in us that is quietly saying, " is this real?". Whenever I hear someone blame their ADHD on something i feel a sadness in the pit of my stomach. I feel low and bad for that person. Because they suffer from low confidence if anything else. they have accepted the belief that everything they do is ADD. And there is no hope for them because all they see is ADD. I suffer from this cognitive state as well. I wonder sometimes.

But lately I have accepted the ADHD as an inherent personality trait rather than a disorder. It keeps me from potentially fulfilling the prophecy of ADHD (self fulfilling prophecy) A psychological condition that means one actually believes a condition to become true. ie. Placebo pills.

The human mind is a very powerful thing. It can control everything. And it can keep you from living a full and healthy life. My advice to you: Forget you even have distincted yourself as an ADHDer. Concentrate more on your talents and what you have to offer the world. NEVER take drugs for ADHD. Become aware of your faults to the point that it becomes your very nature to do so. Ex ( i keep a google calender and update meetings and events via iphone anywhere anytime so that I will not forget future engagments).

Goodluck!