Thinking I'm going to end up being an old lady eaten to death by her pet cats

[Tabbycat]

I can at least relate although don't have the answer yet.
I'm 40, facing a hysterectomy, have 4 cats and my spouse is thinking of leaving.
I figure there's always volunteer work and I can give good lives to a number of cats while I'm here....

[XavierQ]

This thread depresses me, because I can relate.

Except that I don't have any pets so I'm going to end up as a rotten corpse instead of a protein-rich meal.

[JollyBadger]

I'm 32, never been married with no kids, but currently dating a man in his mid-forties with a grown (early-twenties) daughter who has a young son.

In my case, the "no kids" part doesn't really bother me because I've known since I was a preteen that I didn't want children. My childfree-by-choice status is fine with my boyfriend, because he doesn't want any more children (he's happy to spoil his grandson, though).

Not that I'm a child-hater, I just don't want my own. My boyfriend's grandson is a very cute kid. My brother and his wife also have two little girls, so I can enjoy being a "cool aunt" for them. They live 500 miles away so I can't see them often, but when they visit I can get them hyped up on sugar and then send them back to their parents.

My boyfriend and I are both horse owners and enjoy the freedom of being able to load up the trailer for a day-trip of riding in one of the local state parks, or a full week-long riding/camping vacation. . .something that really wouldn't be possible if there were kids in the mix, at least not for several years.

[saunders]

On a lighter note, I don't think the cats will eat you until you are already dead...so you have that going for you.

[BehindTheSofa]

Haha!!

[Retromancer]

A small -- subsidized -- apartment and a cat? Sounds like heaven!

[Maurice]

Retro, I managed an even better deal. A subsidized house in the country with my cat, Sparky. Other than getting a little lonely from time to time, it is pretty damn nice not having to answer to anyone, be my own boss and that kind of stuff. Believe it or not my rent is a whopping $59.00 a month! And I have an acre of grass to cut.

Getting to the topic there Marspider, I have to totally go along with chartreuse and I do love my "freedom and independence."

And as far as sexy goes intelligence does it for me every time. And you have another sexy attribute going for you too an English accent.

I went to my 35th high school reunion on July 4th and it was wonderful and very interesting. Out of a class of over 400, there were at least 3 or 4 couples still married to their original spouses. I talked to quite a few people that said their mates were home, pouting and then laughed about it. One of those was Rhonda Bogue, my girlfriend from 1st grade! And she still looked not just good, she was hot! Then after I told her I just got diagnosed with ADD a little over a year ago, she told me the same thing happened to her. She has been teaching high school for 32 years. Then after talking with her I got a great big hug from Kathy Steele, a friend since junior high, and a fellow marching band member. I told her that I had moved out of the city to the country down south and she told me that that is where her family was from. And she used to go on vacation at a cabin they had down here. Then she told me that her husband was sick and she said she did not see why she should have to "suffer too." And that she was "frustrated." So I invited her down any time she wanted to come down and visit me. And said that her husband probably would not care, jokingly slightly and hopefully. She affirmed that he probably wouldn't care. So I called her a week after the reunion and her husband answered the phone and said "what do you want?" I said "Kathy please." We talked for over two hours. And she told me as soon as she could get a little time off work that she will be down to see me! Needless to say I am very much looking forward to our own private "reunion." So, the lesson I learned is sometimes if you just hang in there something will just work itself out. Best of luck to you!

[nottheonlyone]

I feel like you too, but I will be the crazy old dog woman. (you know it's said that if you die at home and are undiscovered your cats see you as a piece of meat, but dogs still love you). I have a 12 year old daughter and (this sounds really bad) and the novelty certainly wears off, no refunds or returns. She thinks I'm weird, I used to think it was everyone else, but now i know i'm just different (always have been). Allegedly "gifted" haha, only seems to manifest as being good at trivia. Alway been on the edge. I used to be ok with being permanently single, but had this terrible epiphany that I will live my entire life without a single person understanding me........

[meadd823]

Originally Posted by XavierQ

This thread depresses me, because I can relate.

Except that I don't have any pets so I'm going to end up as a rotten corpse instead of a protein-rich meal.

Shelters are full of animals needing good homes ,With that being said my cats probably wouldn't eat my dead body because I am not a tuna.

[Driver]

I'm rapidly approaching 30 and am currently single and childless.

I thought I was missing out, and lacking. But all my friends who married in their early 20s, and have kids, are now divorcing. They now have debts from property settlements, and shared parenting arrangements to abide by.

I don't think I'm that worse off now.

[ADHDTigger]

I was fortunate to meet the man who is the love of my life at the age of 42. We both had cats so it truly was a match made in heaven. He is older than me by seven years. That means that we are both of the same generation and have had many of the same experiences and life lessons. When we got together, we both knew that it was the last relationship either of us would be in.

I just turned 47. He has terminal lung cancer. So far we have been lucky and he is getting through the chemo okay. We know fine well that we are just buying time.

Bottom line here- age means nothing. Choice is everything. After that end day comes, I doubt seriously that I would bother to pursue another relationship, even though I will not likely have reached fifty yet. But that is as much a choice as it is anything else. I will live happily with my cats and, hopefully, write children's books. When the Almighty sees fit to take me from this world, I will have made provisions for the cats. I, like Meadd, seriously doubt that they will bother eating me. They prefer salmon. Besides- they seem to think I am a cat bed. Why would they eat their cat bed?

I never had children but that was also a choice I made. I don't regret that choice today. One of my cats has proven herself to be capable of changing the channel so I have little doubt that she will manage to call 911 if I cannot.

[rd_wnc]

I'm long out of the dating game myself but from the guy perspective I've found that my ADHD definitely has affected the way people perceive me. I often seem to come off as arrogant and self absorbed but so much of this has been my discomfort with social situations.

It has been a big factor in my relationships because I can come off distant and disinterested when really I'm more like a turtle in a shell....afraid to come out.

ADHD probably does affect the way guys see you.

I think Chartreuse has the best idea. Get yourself into a place where you are as happy with you and your life as possible.

People (many guys included) seem to be drawn to real confidence (not arrogance or overcompensation, but actual confidence).

Truly confident people seem to put others at ease because they are okay with who they are, and can be truly enganged and genuinely interested in others.

It's a tough place to get but I'd love to be happy enough inside my own skin that I'm content with the life I have or the the one end up with---not constantly thinking I should meet the standards that society says I should.

Take care of yourself. Find what makes you happy and fulfilled. Get comfortable enough in your own skin so that people(including guys) can get to know the real you.

ADHD doesn't make this easy I know.

Maybe there needs to be an ADHD match.com type site.....that could be dangerous though I suppose putting ADHD people together. We could take over the world though. Make everything ADHD friendly. We could be the new normal and NT people can be the oddballs and the outcasts!! Let them live in our world for a while.

Okay I've had too much coffee and adderall this morning.

[Waitingame]

I think there's some quality about being ADD-intense and smart that pulls a lot of guys in but also scares the **** out of them.

On my best days this seems like an excellent litmus test to weed out the unsuitable and/or weak. Better to know upfront how much capacity a person has (or perceives themselves to have) to deviate from standard norms.

And on my less-better days (usually overcast with estrogen) I would be more than willing to deceive myself for a little while just to have testosterone in the room and big strong arms around me.

If we were going to be very perky and reframe this, maybe we could say that at least we have a more efficient process of elimination for dating than some NTs who...do whatever they do. What do the do? They seem to date lots, often, and widely, which I really don't understand. Don't they have gut feelings about who they do and don't like? Why does it take 3 dates?

Sorry - digressed there - but 100% agree with everyone here that being your fabulous self is the solution to lots of issues, including attracting someone who is worthy of all the awesome, unique traits you bring to the table.