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  #16  
Old 05-22-10, 06:51 AM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

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Originally Posted by anotherADDkid View Post
I can definitely relate to that haha. I definitely think it is an insecurity thing. You feel like you have to explain your unusual behavior like someone said above.

This is what I am sick of....explaining 30 years of 'me'...to people who don't have the capacity to understand 'me'/''us....

Why am i explaining myself....?

Because when I stopped....people just made things up,like they have missed a bit of the movie.....and I have to fill them in-I hate doing that!

Why did i say that?

Whay am i going to say this!

I don't know.

NO-I can't help it........it'd like a form of long winded tourettes right?
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  #17  
Old 05-22-10, 07:23 AM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I believe Adders have away of being extremely direct I call it being real but everyone cant handle it. Its a lot to handle for NTs. My mother is really bad about doing this. I say she carries her heart on her sleeve proudly and it works for her. I have never sensed that she felt she shouldn't have disclosed something unless I fuss at her about telling to much about me to strangers. She is as up front as you can get, I am not so much. I am very reserved out in public, very introverted. She is very extroverted. But if I can find that one on one I will bar my soul also but regret it later.
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  #18  
Old 05-22-10, 07:25 AM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I don't blurt it all out, but when it's germane to the issue, I don't hold back. Yeah, people know more about me than they do about most people, but look at it this way - nobody can ever blackmail me, because I'm not hiding any secrets!
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Old 05-22-10, 08:04 AM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

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Originally Posted by Amtram View Post
I don't blurt it all out, but when it's germane to the issue, I don't hold back. Yeah, people know more about me than they do about most people, but look at it this way - nobody can ever blackmail me, because I'm not hiding any secrets!
Not sure if this is a good thing

There is a limit to how much,we can get away with before we are dubbed,mad different strange......they start to make stuff up,and then there is no going back....some of the things we say and talk about,well they like/enjoy it more than t.v....

It is not about the converse with us....it's who they associate with,who we know as well....small world.(especially the way we communicate nowadys....net,phones etc)

What I am trying to say is...it is not the conversation or social interaction that I am having-that I am worried about....it is the aftermath,they talking behind peoples backs,only talking about negatives of people...

This makes me want to shut off completely....and I do.
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  #20  
Old 05-22-10, 01:33 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I know; for me it's never too intimate or inappropriate but at the same time - did they really need to know that? what was I thinking?

I find I do this with people I don't even particuarly like (at work) - because I feel bad that I don't like them - there's not that super connection of "they seem really nice!". so I "make up for it" by "sharing" something, so I won't be a hypocrite because I am just making small talk. This is NUTS.
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  #21  
Old 05-24-10, 08:13 AM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I get ya!

I've done it on MSN, told friends personal things and not thought anything of it...until later! Or not until they tease me about it, then I get all frustrated and pretend I didn't say anything in the first place!

And I'm TERRIBLE on Facebook, posting things on statuses thatI probably shouldn't, especially when I'm mad at people!
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  #22  
Old 05-24-10, 10:36 AM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I learned relatively early to keep my mouth shut. People don't want to hear about me, they want to hear about them. I still tell stuff I shouldn't once in a while, but no more than normal people do.
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  #23  
Old 05-24-10, 12:02 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I've said plenty on impulse, and have alluded to things that perhaps I shouldn't have, but I admit that the reason behind that (at least at work) is because I know even going that far with a co-worker of mine will turn him beet red.

My problem is that sometimes, I don't notice the visual cues and end whatever it is I was saying, because I feel like I need to finish whatever it is I'm saying to 'feel' alright. That's probably my biggest social faux pas, when it isn't a time that I feel like I don't have anything to contribute to a discussion and just stand there in silence.
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  #24  
Old 05-24-10, 12:45 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

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Originally Posted by Lost Focus View Post
I've said plenty on impulse, and have alluded to things that perhaps I shouldn't have, but I admit that the reason behind that (at least at work) is because I know even going that far with a co-worker of mine will turn him beet red.

My problem is that sometimes, I don't notice the visual cues and end whatever it is I was saying, because I feel like I need to finish whatever it is I'm saying to 'feel' alright. That's probably my biggest social faux pas, when it isn't a time that I feel like I don't have anything to contribute to a discussion and just stand there in silence.
I have to go along with you Lost Focus, I think that this is an impulse control problem. I can remember my Dad telling me every since I was a little kid to "Quit talking to the neighbors!!!" I was not telling them anything important or revealing or for that matter anything that really mattered. I do not feel that I am making any excuses for my behaviors or my manners or lack of them for that matter. I have been told that I "Shoot straight from the hip." Over and over and over. I am very very honest and straight to the point. Good bad, or indifferent. Do not ask me a question or for my opinion on ANY subject if you do not want to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I don't think that I look at this as "excusing my behavior" and I am damn sure not looking for sympathy or special treatment. I do not honestly believe that there is anything wrong doing this sort of thing. It really goes against my beliefs in a LOT of ways. I do not tell strangers or anyone that I am not very very close with my personal business, on any subject or matter. I am a very private person, that usually doesn't even give a stranger the time of day. I do NOT make ANY apologies for this kind of behavior either, it is just the way I am. I do wonder if this as in any way an ADD trait? I have always just looked at this as my way of not beating around the bush!!
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  #25  
Old 05-24-10, 01:22 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

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Originally Posted by Maurice View Post
I have to go along with you Lost Focus, I think that this is an impulse control problem. I can remember my Dad telling me every since I was a little kid to "Quit talking to the neighbors!!!" I was not telling them anything important or revealing or for that matter anything that really mattered. I do not feel that I am making any excuses for my behaviors or my manners or lack of them for that matter. I have been told that I "Shoot straight from the hip." Over and over and over. I am very very honest and straight to the point. Good bad, or indifferent. Do not ask me a question or for my opinion on ANY subject if you do not want to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I don't think that I look at this as "excusing my behavior" and I am damn sure not looking for sympathy or special treatment. I do not honestly believe that there is anything wrong doing this sort of thing. It really goes against my beliefs in a LOT of ways. I do not tell strangers or anyone that I am not very very close with my personal business, on any subject or matter. I am a very private person, that usually doesn't even give a stranger the time of day. I do NOT make ANY apologies for this kind of behavior either, it is just the way I am. I do wonder if this as in any way an ADD trait? I have always just looked at this as my way of not beating around the bush!!
Hi m8,

I am similar in the not beating around the bush,i say what i am thinking
....if we want bush we ask for bush !

Quote:
I do wonder if this as in any way an ADD trait? I have always just looked at this as my way of not beating around the bush!!
I am the same way and thought the same way....but am starting to realise more and more that i just can not help it,it is like pure impulse for me.....especially at work-when the blood is flowing I am glowing(not sure why i rhymed at the end,we'll go with it)......glowing/nuts whats the difference.

But it is the way we are....so i guess,we are to the point,no bush wacking,but the reason behind us being this way,are......un-controlable.

The controlled times must be when we are normal but it is a battle,i believe.

After-thought;

Do we treat people how we want to be treated.....we communicate in our own way...against the majority of other people's communicative 'converse'(thats the word)..?
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Old 05-24-10, 04:55 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I go back and forth between being too shy to speak, and then blurting out inappropriate things, and then not speaking again. I do understand how that can be a little off-putting to people.
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Old 05-27-10, 06:02 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

Just had to share this...

My husband's friend is dating a girl neither of us like very much. Yesterday his friend told him that the girl has ADHD, and my husband came home and told me this and was rolling his eyes. He thinks she's just immature and lazy.

I got frustrated and asked him why he is assuming that she doesn't have ADHD, when neither of us know her very well. He said "You know what makes me doubt her? She tells everybody about it!" (She told us about having a learning disability the first time we met her).

Then I got all upset and reminded him one of the symptoms is being impulsive which is the exactly the kind of thing that would cause you to go around telling everybody, and that based on what we do know about her she kind of fits the profile and he shouldn't just assume she's lazy and it's frustrating to hear that coming from him. Then he told me I was yelling and pretended to fall asleep.

You see though? I think that has a lot to do with why people don't believe it. If she had never mentioned it found out some other way he probably just would have thought ohhh, so THAT's what's wrong with her.
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Old 05-27-10, 06:13 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

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Originally Posted by kidgorgeous View Post
I was just thinking about how I've never had a casual acquaintance tell me they had bipolar disorder, or schizoaffective, or major depression, but I've met a few people that have told me about their ADHD in the first conversation (I was even at a conference once and a lady announced it to the whole room, including the meds she was taking).

I think this is part of what encourages the whole eye roll response from people and causes people to maybe think people are making excuses or looking for attention. But it occurred to me that maybe ADD people talk about it not because they want sympathy, but because the condition does make you say things you probably shouldn't.

I often find myself telling someone personal information even when I've promised myself I will not do this. I cringe to think about all of the times I've just run my mouth and later felt very childish about it. It's like I can't stop myself. I remember a bad relationship I had and talked to EVERYONE about the details of the problems I was having. I recently found myself talking explicitly about a visit to a male strip club at a table full of religious women.

Do any of you find yourself telling secrets (your own and those of others) even though you try hard not to not to?

Nah, never.

I'm generally shy, but the only thing I want to be able to display is my intelligence. It is a matter of ego.
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Old 05-27-10, 07:14 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

I have this problem as well but I'm learning not to give so much away, for example when a friend is having a crisis I used to tell someone all about it but now I just give a brief explanation and let that person know in a nice way that's all I'm saying about it or I say I can't tell you anymore as I'm respecting that persons privacy etc

I've learnt not to tell too much about my own life either as I simply don't want people in my business and it's not a necessity to tell my whole life story to every single person I meet, I was too open years ago and I've become more private now.

Selena
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Old 05-28-10, 05:16 PM
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Re: Telling people all of your personal business...

Sometimes the impulsive part in me, "shoots" some info out, which was not originally meant to be shared.
But I learned to shut my mouth about certain issues.
About me having ADHD - in my home country there is more awareness to ADHD lately, plus usually people at my workplace or College shared the ADHD problem with me, so I stopped being ashamed of it.
I actually found out some out my friends (not close ones) and co workers have it, too!
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