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Old 10-06-17, 06:18 PM
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living bravely and authentically

some questions that have been going through my head in the last months that are growing stronger now because of recent events, and I'd like to ask them to you:

what would living bravely and authentically mean to you?

what would your day look like?

what would your life look like?

how can you live in this way?

what does it take?

does it have a price?

what is this price?

are you willing to pay it?

what do you have to let go of?

why don't you do it now? (to the extent that you can)

and why do you do it now? (to the extent that you do)

do the people around you allow you do to do this?

do you allow yourself to live the way you want to?

I ask these questions here, because I know that there is a lot of wisdom here, so I am really curious what you have to say (even if you don't feel it's wise, I am still curious )
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Old 10-06-17, 10:56 PM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

Living bravely would be inauthentic, but ultimately that is meaningless because you are always authentic at all times.


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Ian
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Old 10-07-17, 02:04 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

what would living bravely and authentically mean to you?

Following your fears

what would your day look like?

I started a business because it was something I was afraid to do and something I wanted to do.

So my day would be moving forward and planning. Budgeting, and designing, debugging and gathering feedback, going out and meeting people, and more debugging.


what would your life look like?

I suppose what it is now. Although maybe less fear. I've spent 2 years developing software but I don't know if the whole business will work.

how can you live in this way?

I suppose making a living would be nice. I developed software for ADHD business owners that don't want to deal with the boring stuff, like scheduling, billing and routing. Total automation was the only solution, in my opinion.

what does it take?

God, it takes a miracle. I'm not religious, but some days it feels like all I can do is pray.

does it have a price?

Time. I think spending two years and not knowing if I have wasted my time is hard. And I suppose the waiting. Having zero money has been hard, but not as hard as the other two.

what is this price?

I think it takes everything.

are you willing to pay it?

Yes.

what do you have to let go of?

My sanity and other peoples opinion of my sanity.

why don't you do it now? (to the extent that you can)

I do.

and why do you do it now? (to the extent that you do)

That's a hard question. I did it because it just felt like something that I needed to do.

do the people around you allow you do to do this?

Yes, but I think that is only because they couldn't stop me.

do you allow yourself to live the way you want to?

Yes, as much as I can, and as much as life allows.

Maybe that helped?
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Old 10-07-17, 02:33 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

Tbh, being brave and authentic doesnt really matter much to me.

I just want to be happy. And I want my family to be happy. Although I don't want to achieve this happiness ny screwing other people over, I don't really care if I was being brave or not.

I feel like forcing yourself to always do the brave thing or feeling bad at yourself for not doing the brave thing is actually harmful and not letting yourself just be who you are. I think maybe that's what aeon said too and if so, I agree with him.
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Old 10-07-17, 03:52 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

I could not go into all of these questions now,
But when I read brave and authenitic, this is what i want every day, in facing my adhd problems that are woven through daily tasks that most people dont think twice about;

And being authentic, interacting with others, not making small talk to " appear normal".
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Old 10-09-17, 06:10 PM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

This question is something that I think about fairly often.

Life is really short, so I think it helps to think about the '80/20 rule' (i.e. 20% of your actions account for 80% of your results in life).

So I just focus on the 20% of results that bring me 80% of happiness/productivity/quality relationships in life.
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Old 10-10-17, 02:34 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

For me, living bravely and authentically is what I'm starting to do now. Getting help for myself by getting diagnosed and treated for the disorders that have made life so hard. Also, finding myself again after losing myself in a dysfunctional marriage. I'm starting to pick back up my old hobbies and interests, the things that make me happy, the things that make me "me". Working on my relationships with family and friends, filling my life with healthy people who build me up, instead of tear me down.

Yes, it has a price, but I'm willing to pay it because in the end, I gain more.
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Old 10-10-17, 03:34 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

For me it would be to maintain my sobriety and never stop being kind.
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Old 10-10-17, 06:58 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

For me living brave would mean to not let fear stop me from doing anything I really want to do and think I should do.

Living authentically For me would mean to not let the thoughts of other people's judgements interfere with the things I think I should do and want to do.

( sorry no time to answer all your questions. Also I dont have an answer for most of your questions.)
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Old 10-10-17, 08:37 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

I honestly have no idea how much braver and authentic I could get.
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Old 10-10-17, 11:41 AM
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Re: living bravely and authentically

Good to see ya', Jasper!

To me, being brave and authentic is simply allowing oneself to keep it real and genuine in all areas of your existence without putting on multiple masks day in and day out to be accepted on false pretenses that will eventually crumble.

I finally broke down under the weight of the many masks folks are expected to wear, along with the heavy artificial existence we're taught to create and consume from a young age, and luckily found my way out from under the rubble before my body was harmed any further.

I drastically and totally flipped the script from doing what I was taught, programmed/conditioned, and made to do the first few decades of my life, being made to believe those were the routes one HAD to take in order to healthily exist and be deemed socially acceptable and appropriate. Beep. Wrong answer. For me, anyway.

My greatest lesson ever has been to be ready to unlearn, first, in order to make more space to learn even more valuable things. Many folks trying to teach us things are only memorizing and parroting info, not actually down in the trenches of direct and/or ongoing experiences. That makes a big difference to me, even more so now that I've lived these last few years as I have.

In doing all of these things I managed to get much of my health back, reverse and/or better manage many of the dis-eases I was told I simply had to get used to or medicate for a lifetime because of my age, kicked several addictions to the curb, and am helping the environment and my cell-ph more than I ever have by also not lessening the quality of life for other living things in the process of my existence, while steadily planting seeds of many varieties to help more things grow along the way.

The only thing I have left to do that I would consider as perhaps being brave (or just insane, as it feels at this particular point and time) is to perhaps better create and run an "official" business of some type with all I've learned. If it's meant to be, it'll happen exactly when it should. If it isn't meant to be, then I'll continue to go with the flow as I need to.

Meanwhile, I volunteer my time in a few different arenas sharing and paying forward what I was fortunate enough to learn from others and through direct experience. It also pays off well in bartering exchanges for other healing services and goods I'd otherwise have to pay cash for. Win/win.

As far as others "allowing" it....I had to be the one to recognize it, acknowledge the dire need for it (thanks to my body urgently letting me know), and allow it within myself first....otherwise, I'd never succeed in convincing anyone else it's a good idea....lol.

Even then, it all still remains a crap shoot no matter how well it's explained or demonstrated day in and day out, as we all reach our own lessons/teachers in our own time. I try to anchor things/expectations to external means and beings as little as humanly possible, as they can all be taken away at any given moment. Although, at times, it's very necessary. I learned that although we're collectively all-one, we're still very much a-lone in the grand scheme of things.

It seems to have cost me much of my social life as I once knew it, as very few others care to partake in the level of cleaner consumption that I do, nor do many, if any, places offer items that are innard-friendly to those who are trying to remain mindful. One of the downfalls of living in a big-ag area, I suppose.

However, in hindsight, it seems that's all been a blessing more than a curse as it's allowed me plenty of time and space to be with and better get to know my own being inside and out, along with more of my familial history, which greatly aids in continuing to make these hard-learned choices of life enrichment.

I had to let go of meat, dairy, eggs, gluten, caffeine, alcohol, artificially colored/flavored/scented/sweetened/etc. things, let go of dining out as often, let go of buying hardcore endocrine disrupting hygiene/cleaning/primping products, attending public events as often, running out for a big stiff drink or a few giant cups of coffee when the notion strikes, running down the road for ice cream, letting go of all the southern style down home cooking I used to spend hours doing and sharing with others, calling for delivery options, and popping by a drive-thru for "convenience". That was all hard as hell, as that's the only way I had been taught to exist.

I didn't by any means gently approach these things that have enriched my life, but rather fought them tooth and nail for years as they were being indirectly suggested by very caring individuals, feeling many of the things being suggested were simply a bunch of BS, especially based on what I'd been taught for four decades by my family and various "professionals". I had to face the possibility of having organs surgically removed before it finally sank in.

I'm one of those types of learners who must be catapulted by urgency or seek things out of desperation, apparently. Either way, I'm incredibly grateful for the paths and individuals I've been led to along the way, otherwise I'm certain I wouldn't be here today. I rarely feel brave, but I feel more authentic now than I recall ever feeling in my past life.
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