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Old 05-03-12, 02:06 PM
heresomewhere heresomewhere is offline
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Vyvanse Not Working?

Hi, Everybody

I'm not sure what to type and honestly right now I don't have the ability to plan it out so I'm just going to say everything I'm thinking and I'm sorry if I wander.

I'm 30 years old. I stay at home with my kids. I've been terribly disorganized since I was 9, like everything was messy. I couldn't do my homework. It took forever. I had a high IQ and despite being so incredibly disorganized I was still able to get good grades until middle school. My life was chaos at home, I guess. I think my mom had ADD. the house was always a wreck and we moved all the time due to finances. Even though my IQ was in the 99th percentile, I made no plans of what to do after graduation. My mom ended up enrolling me in community college. I think I'm going into too much detail. to sum up, it took me 7 years to complete a very easy degree at an easy 4 yr college. I only worked full time for maybe 6 months of my life. I never got fired but I always quit. I could never show up to work on time. I would always be a minimum of 15 mins late. I have had anxiety my whole life, I guess. I know I had OCD at age 4.

Anyway I did finally finish the degree and worked almost full time at a place that let me pretty show up just whenever and sit at a desk and Google stuff all day long. I wanted to stay home with the kids until they were school age and after my son was born I didn't go back to work except for a period of a year where we had our own business and it was very overwhelming to me.

So I stay home with the kids all day. Guess what. My house is a wreck, too. I never decided during childhood that my life wouldn't be like that, but I never imagined it being that way when I was an adult. I thought our problems were mostly being poorer than my classmates. Well my husband makes a lot of money and now I can buy anything I want....and I still live like I did when I was dirt poor where no one can even come over.

When I was maybe 20 I read the book You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid and realized, oh, I have ADD, just not hyper. I sorta forgot about it because I have all kinds of ideas all the time. It just got swept under the carpet. Then a few years later, I went to a dr and did the ADD checklist. He hardly talked tome, didn't ask any questions and wrote me a Rx for Ritalin.

Now, to explain I am not into drugs. I have never even smoked a cigarette. Partly because of that and partly because I was afraid he thought I was after some medicine to get high, I asked to be put on a non-stimulant instead. And this was during the time period they were advertising Strattera all the time. So he wrote for that. I never got it filled. I forgot about the ADD thing again. I told myself ADD is not a real condition, not a permanent condition. I should probably just eat healthier, not be so flakey, etc.

Years passed. I got married, had kids. The responsibilty of housekeeping and child raising and being a SAHM, which amounts to no real structure. Fast forward to earlier this year when I was talking to a lady who was supposed to be evaluating my daughter for autism spectrum. She said these kids don't have autism anything. She said they needed structure, routine, etc. So I said well this dr said I have ADD but I never really did anything about it, not sure it's a permanent condition. She said, "Oh yes, it is!" She is 65 and has been taking ADD meds for 20 yrs. She said they don't give adults stimulants (I knew this wasn't true but I figure she must be on Strattera). She told me to get help for my kids.

So I googled it a bunch and saw all this stuff about ADHD and messiness. I never knew that before.

Back up to say I had been fighting this messy house/car/life hardcore for a year and a half and I began to have intense anxiety stemming from it. I know I have a bit of anxiety anyway and a bit of OCD but most of my anxiety got sooo much worse directly as a result of fighting against the messy house and failing every.single.day. This was a fight so intense that it's my only focus now for a year and a half or more.

Anyway so when I realized maybe the struggle with messiness didn't start with my outward environment but my mind, I was so excited. I thought my life was going to change! No more mess!! I could then do the things I wanted to do.

I called around until I found someone who could see me, like, a couple of days later.

I told her everything. She said I have ADHD combined type. I didn't realized until then I had any hyperactivity-component but apparently, I talk 100 miles an hour and fidget all the time. I was honest with her about my mild OCD and she decided a stimulant would still be a good idea in my case but warned me that sometimes these get too complicated and she has to send to a pdoc.

So she wrote me a script for Vyvanse. I thanked as I was leaving. I told her how excited I was. She warned me not to get too excited. She said sometimes it takes awhile of experimenting with diff meds and doses. I dismissed it in my head. She told me to only take it first thing in the morning cuz I would have trouble sleeping. I took it immediately after getting it filled at 6 pm.

I should back up and mention I suspect I might have narcolepsy. I certainly go straight to dreaming, fall asleep if I sit down or long car trips if it's long enough or the sun is out. I have mild cataplexy. Didn't know what it was but thanks to Google, I do know.At the time of my initial appt with my dr., I had a neurologist appt scheduled for a few weeks later. The reason I did both at once is b/c the ADD lady motivated me to seek help for my problems for the sake of my kids.

Ok, anyway, I told the dr about possible narcolepsy and all. She checked something and came back. I think she was making sure there would be no interactions (I know from Googling later that Vyvanse is sometimes given to narcolepsy patients).

I took it at 6 pm and I felt great, of course. It seemed to improve my handwriting that night. I made lists of all the things I needed to do and, for once, I believed they would get done. Oh, she put me on 30 mg and told me to take that for 3 days then open it up and take 45 mg for 3 days then 60 for three days. So anyway the next day I took 30 sometime during the morning.

Here's what I noticed initially. The Vyvanse made me feel amazing! Of course, I was on Cloud 9. I was happy, super mellow, sedated, super calm, I could listen and actually care what the other person was saying and most surprisingly, noises didn't bother me. I get extremely stressed. My nerves are always raw from the messiness and chaos and repetitive type noises like the ones that kids make--those noises feel like someone is pulling a scab off my wound. But with the Vyvanse, all of a sudden, it didn't bother me anymore. I felt way more attractive. I was way more competent, or so I believed. i took it for a few days even though I started hyperventilating from it once. Then I googled something about amphetamines and self-confidence and realized that the Vyvanse giving me super self-confidence didn't mean it was correcting some element of my ADHD. It just meant I was high. I confirmed with the pharmacist. Yes, she said amphetamines make everyone confident pretty much. So it was no diff than getting high. It wasn't fixing my ADHD; I was high! I stopped taking it.

Then after a few weeks, I had an overwhelming day. It was a chaotic mess, the noises were bothering me, I couldn't even stay awake. I took a vyvanse again and wow! amazing! I didn't feel any anxiety on Vyvanse.

So I think I quit taking it again at some point a few days after that. The reason being b/c I wanted to do it naturally and I hate the idea of taking a medication long term, that kinda thing. i tried fish oil, after reading the results of a promising study. Whatever little if anything the fish oil did wasn't enough.

After a couple more weeks, i had a sleep disorder clinic scheduled for the next day. now due to my insurance being crappy and my deductible being so high I would have to pay out of pocket, like thousands of dollars. My husband didn't want me to do it, especially since I told him I might not take whatever meds they gave me.

I took a Vyvanse impulsively. I had my sleep disorder clinic put off a few weeks. I knew I couldnt take Vyvanse and go to it. I wanted to give Vyvanse a full go like I was supposed to before. I don't remember the exacts but I took 30 for awhile then I opened it up and couldn't figure out how to get an even half and ended up taking the whole 2nd pill on impulse so I had taken 60. So the next day I also took 60. I felt nothing different on 60 than 30. I wasn't sleeping good at this point and when I was coming off the Vyvanse that night, I became sorta robotic and OCD and got into a terrible fight with my husband. So I switched back to 30.

I took it for awhile, then I went back in to report my results to her. I told her I do like the Vyvanse but I might just like it cuz it was a stimulant and not sure I like it for the right reasons. I told her it pretty much eliminated my anxiety and I had a lot of anxiety that I didn't realize, like noises stressing me. She said she could keep me on Vyvanse/a stimulant, add an antidepressant to it for anxiety or do just an antidepressant at first then add the stimulant back. She indicated she thought the Vyvanse maybe and maybe 45 would end up being the right dose for me. I said whatever you think is best and she put me on Celexa 20 mg. She told me I could come back in a couple weeks and get the dose on Celexa upped. She told me to go ahead and make an appt with a pdcot and she would see me until then since it could take awhile. I think she also meant she would continue to just see me herself if she could get the meds right soon but she wanted me to go ahead and have that appt.

So I started taking Celexa. There were some side effects at first but I waited them out and after a week and a half, the side effects were pretty much gone and it did about the same thing for my anxiety that Vyvanse had done.

I no longer got overwhelmed by the housework it seemed. So I startd a project decluttering sentimental boxes from the attic for scrapbooks. Big undertaking and I ended up biting off more than I could chew and I ended up with a TON of stuff EVERYWHERE like a disaster area and I had no idea how to put it back up. It was making me anxious and I was super tired one day and I thought that Vyvanse would help me prioritize it a little. So even though I hadn't been back to my appt, I started taking the 30 mg Vyvanse again. *I'm not advocating this. I know it's foolish. I'm just being honest*. I knew she said she wanted me back on it anyway so I thought I would just go ahead b/c I had quite a few left of that initial 30 since I didn't take it for quite as long of a stretch at once as she believed.

So I am now on Celexa and Vyvanse. For a few days, I was highly optimistic. I put together this kids' lego set. I normally would have given up as soon I was looked at it. It made me feel capable. I loved feeling capable!! I should mention that sometime after that first stretch of taking it, it didn't make me feel so mellow anymore. It did calm my nerves but I think my initial reaction was mostly akin to getting high or whatever, getting used to amphetamines. The wild self-esteem was gone as well. I'm cool with that, though. I should mention before I added the Vyvanse back myself I read some ADHD forums where people were talking about it taking awhile to see the impact and how eating protein helped Vyvanse. That's what made me excited to start it back.

Then a few days ago, it started making me jittery for a couple days. I didn't feel like I hadn't taken it really, just a bit jittery. I experimentally tried 60 again and that was worse. Not more jittery but I felt just as ADD or more so as taking no medication.
I'm not sure what's going on. Before it crapped out on me, I had impulsively called the dr's office and left a msg to ask if I could take the remainder of my vyvanse and she could call me some more without even coming in. I know she would want to see me but my reasons were b/c it's such a hassle to come in since my husband can only watch the kids fri afternoons and it is pretty inconvenient and my other reason is to legitimize my taking the Vyvanse again and to get another script.

Ok, so I called but then things got hectic and I lost my phone charger and stuff so I just checked the voicemails and apparently, her nurse has been calling me, like, every single day since almost a week ago. I WAS going to ask to continue on Vyvanse but since I left that msg, I feel like Vyvanse has crapped out on me.

In the entire time taking the Vyvanse, I felt a bit more organized once. It was when I took 60 the first time. I put my groceries in the cart in an orderly fashion. I threw away my plastic fork wrapper and some other trash at McDonald's before even beginning my meal. These are things I normally never would have considered.

The postives of the Vyvanse for me are that it makes me have no almost no anxiety, not stressed out, and since I actually believe I will get it all done eventually when I take vyvanse, it makes me a lot more chilled out about it. OH, and it really does help me prioritize my tasks better. That is a true ADHD benefit it gives me. Other than that, though, it does very little in the way of making me not so disorganized. I realize i have to actually do the work even when taking meds. I realize that. But I do try. Before vyvanse and while taking it. But I seem to go nowhere.

I still hate the idea of taking a medication long-term and I feel very ambiguous about stimulants. On the one hand, I want everything to be as natural as possible. On the other, I suppose I enjoy feeling better than my normal self and some small part of me I think may actually like the stimulant aspect in the same way that a drug addicted person might. I am just being honest. It is a relief to know that a pill can make you totally chill out. And I came to enjoy the inflated self-confidence while it lasted, though it's gone now.

So what to do. I'm gonnan try to get in tomorrow. I'm not going to tell her I started taking it again. If she tries to push the Vyvanse, I think I'm gonna use the excuse that it costs a lot (which it does) in order to try some alternative. I am also open to Strattera, but I admit I do like staying consistently awake where fallingasleep is a choice.

I forgot to mention I never went in for my sleep disorder clinic. I didn't wanna spend the money plus I Figured if I am on stimulants anyway and it helps and that's all they will do for me, there's not much point.

Anyway thoughts? Pls be kind. I am very sensitive to criticism. Like you will seriously make me cry. And please, no lectures. I realize my mistaks and I know that taking the Vyvanse before she gave me the go-ahead again was one of them. One of the reasons why I keep taking it is because I'm afraid of a come down. I can't deal with that draggy day you have after taking it. at least not by myself in a messy house with the kids. It gives me anxiety.

I think I mentioned that after a couple of days of the 30 starting to make me jittery that I took 60 and it was like taking nothing, even though the 30 was like next to nothing. Well today I took 30. I feel a bit hung over. I've never actually been hung over but this is what I imagine it would feel like. Like a little rough. I'm thinking the 60 is just a little rough on my body or maybe not if I took it consistently instead of changing dose the next day. Every day lately I consider just not taking anymore but, like today I thought whatever little bit of task prioritzation it gives me is better than nothing.

I'm fine with the Celexa. I feel like I don't need it since the Vyvanse did just as good a job but I'm willing to take it for awhile mostly just to be cooperative. I did notice I was a bit depressed and didn't realize it and it changed a few of m;y thoughts so it's positive.

I think I don't need anymore Vyvanse. I'm feeling discouraged. I felt like a failure before medication, a failure when I went off it each time, a failure when I realized I had to start back, and an even bigger failure when I'm taking it and I'm just as bad off as before but now feeling like I must be addicted to drugs as well.
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Old 05-03-12, 03:50 PM
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Re: Vyvanse Not Working?

I think you may be over - thinking your dosage. It's hard to get a good handle on how the meds are working or not if you keep jumping around. You also need to measure progress, regress, or lack of either over several days, even weeks before you know how it's working. I'm on 20mg of Vyvanse right now (coming from Strattera), I've only been on it four days now. Is it working? No idea. I'm not sure where the withdrawal from the Strattera ends and the benefit of the Vyvanse begins. My 30 day appointment is still a way's out so hopefully I'll know more then.

You should also understand that medicating your ADHD is a long-term endeavor. An easy comparison to ADHD medication, mainly stimulants are eyeglasses. If your vision is blurred and fixed with the glasses, you can't just stop wearing them at some point hoping your uncorrected vision has been restored. They may be the pathway to better life-management techniques that reduce your dependence on them, but even that is an ongoing process. Maybe someday they'll come up with a medical prpcedure synonymous to Lasik to permanently fix ADHD, but until then we need to take our capsule every morning.

You're mentioning taking Strattera. I'm just coming off it. If you're having anxiety problems it may not be the best choice - especially not until you've been through a few stimulants. My anxiety is similar to your and for the same reasons. It's known to have a tendency to add to your anxiety while throwing anger and depression issues into the mix. It works for some but not most. You also seem to be seeking short-term results - real progress takes at least a month of muddling through the side effects of Strattera. You may just need to settle on a low dose of Vyvanse and kick it up one notch at a time while taking it daily.

You may also want to ask about Wellbutrin for your anxiety - but start out low; nothing more than 100mg IR or 150mg of the XR - it can be another heavy hitter. If you get it take it EARLY in the day.

Last edited by lateralthinker; 05-03-12 at 04:07 PM..
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Old 05-03-12, 07:31 PM
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Re: Vyvanse Not Working?

Well I must admit I am proud of myself because I managed to read your entire post, start to finish . I think that is a mindset which would better help you to accept what you cannot change, at least not right away. My advice: take your Vyvanse every single day, same dose (30mg) for at least a month. No breaks and no increase or decrease. The way you are going you are only adding to your stress/anxiety, because your body is struggling to maintain a regular chemical flow. Just take some deep breaths, and take your medication, do not worry about all of the future "what-ifs" right now, just try to focus on each day, one at a time. And give yourself credit for the small accomplishments they will give you the confidence you need and help you stay out of the worried, questioning feelings you're currently going through. And you are absolutely not a failure! You already went through one of the harder parts to this whole messy process, and that is you went to a doctor. And you're also pretty lucky in that sense; from what I can tell your doctor is a good listener and seems truly wanting to help you and work with you on the different doses. So, keep those appointments, go to the referral doctor if she sends you one, and take your medication every day for at least a month before deciding whether it's really working for you or not. The only time I would recommend stopping would be if you start getting really bad side effects, otherwise you just need to give it time to work. Hope this helps!
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Old 05-03-12, 08:29 PM
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Re: Vyvanse Not Working?

Thanks so much, y'all. This has been extremely difficult. I do think it's easier than struggling against disorganization and not knowing why, but it's still frustrating b/c now I can see success in the distance and I can't quite grasp it. I think I'm definitely still coming to grips with this thing. It's been my private struggle my whole life and I just realized it had a name and a reason.

A large part of me insists that it's my own personal failure/responsibility and it makes me feel very anxious/ambivalent about taking meds for ADHD. I don't feel that way about other people, just myself. I think that part of me is sabotaging my efforts to get better and it has shaped my experience with Vyvanse unfavorably.

As for the Vyvanse itself, I wonder if it's possible that the SSRI is interacting with it in a way that diminishes the anxiety-reducing benefit that both meds have previously given me. Lateralthinker mentioned Wellbutrin. I don't know anything about that medication. Isn't it an antidepressant? Does it help with ADHD specifically? Would it be better suited than an SSRI in this case?

Also, I'm wondering if it could just be PMS. I'm going to have to search the threads.
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Old 10-18-12, 08:19 AM
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Vyvanse Not Working?

Hey guys,
I used to take vyvanse in the past about a year ago. Stopped for about 6 months and was going to start taking them again. I took a 70mg and it worked fantastically. When I took it again. I only felt it a little bit and it wore off very quickly. That has happened every time I take it. Is something wrong?
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