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  #1  
Old 04-10-09, 02:24 AM
multiprose multiprose is offline
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Am I chasing an initial transient effect of my body&mind adjusting to adderall?

Am I chasing an initial transient effect of my body&mind adjusting to adderall I'll never find again? Or is this state of *complete mental clarity* something that I should still continue to try to find by titrating my dosage up?

Background: Before being prescribed adderall, I would have to read a single sentence 3-4 times to finally gain a handle on the message being conveyed. The text itself was never difficult but I just was always drowsy, feeling lethargic, and continually plagued with mental fog. It was as though my short-term memory or attention span was deficient to the extent that when I read a sentence, the words/phrases would not *stick* long enough, for just 2-3 seconds, so I could piece together the message of a sentence.

Talking to my doctor about my grief, he prescribed 10mg of IR adderall once a day. I know this is a very little dosage but it was effective for me at first. The first 4 days on adderall were very predictable, as the medication was always consistent and effective as the day before:
1) my meds always took 1.5 to 2 hours after ingestion to kick-in
2) the kick-in or onset would always been obvious to me because I would be hit by a *buzzing* in my brain
3) even though the *buzz* would stop after 1-2 hours, the residual lingering *complete mental clarity* would still linger for the next 4-5 hours and I was still able to concentrate and study PERFECTLY and EFFORTLESSLY
While studying on adderall for those first 4 days, I had complete mental clarity, no longer having to read a sentence 3-4 times or did I zone out in the middle of a sentence like before. With immense ease, I was able to read faster, firmly grasping everything the first read, without having to re-read. In those first 4 days on adderall I gained so much hope by assuming that every time I take the meds in the future, the brain fog that normally plagued me would be purged as much as give me back this *complete mental clarity* whenever I need to read, study, dive into my academic work.

This has not been the case though. I have only ONCE in 2 months, aside from those first 4 days, been able to experience that same initial level of cognitive processing fluidity, accompanied by that *buzz* in my brain, and *complete mental clarity*. However, I really canít see that I did anything different to randomly gain that ability again that ONE random time. Now days, adderall helps with everything else EXCEPT for improving my mental clarity sigificantly.

Currently, I continue to take adderall regularly at 10-20mg IR a day because it helps with my everyday ADD symptoms by relieving me of unexplained drowsiness and lethargy, elevating my mood, increasing my energy, making me more talkative, personable, sociable, and a outgoing. Although I appreciate all these other positive effects, whatís MOST important to me is for the drug to provide the adequate focus and mental clarity for me to dive into studying and pursue my academic projects, which I have the motivation and will-power for but what stops

Iíve tried many things to find and harness that state of mental clarity again: playing with my dosages a little, magnesium supplements, antacids, baking soda, multi-vitamins, controlling my diet, and nothing has been able to help me get that level of mental fluidity back. Iíve even taken drug holidays of a FULL 2 weeks, without any amphetamine or any other supplements, but still no luck!

One specific question for regular adderall users that donít abuse the drug:
-How long does it take for your meds to start working? And what initial effects do you feel in the first hour?

The highest Iíve taken is 20mg of IR, I guess Iíll have to try higher, but do you guys have any other thoughts, ideas, or relevant personal experience you can share?
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Old 04-10-09, 03:35 AM
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Re: Am I chasing an initial transient effect of my body&mind adjusting to adderall?

Be careful with increasing your dose without the doctor, only they can really answer those questions (blablabla). I felt as though the same thing happened with me also, but when I switched my brand of adderall I got that buzz back. It went away after a few days also. My suspect is that our bodies are simply getting used to the feeling of mental clarity and uplifted mood and laser-focus.

At first, you feel great because its different. Its everything you've been looking for, and for once you feel balanced. After a while, your brain is trained to feel that way, and you are used to feeling that way also. This is also the same reason the crash seems harder with a larger dose. Now when I don't take them, I just get grumpy and hazy and I notice it THAT much more. I now feel 'normal' on my meds, and just off and emotional when I'm not.

I would be wary of whether you are not chasing a high. If you feel a buzz, you are probably high from it. You should not be feeling or hearing anything strange or different than usual. I do know that sometimes for tests and during PMS days, I am allowed to take a little extra (like 5mg, i take 20mg per day). But the more you take, the larger your tolerance will become. If you can manage with a low dose, stay that way for as long as you possibly can.

My dosing: I can only feel my meds 'work' when I take them on an empty stomach, with water. Within the first hour, I don't realy notice any physical effects... well except I feel like a little cool feeling in my temples, like the focus-switch just turned on. Its not sudden, most days I don't really notice it. Some days are better than others. It depends on so many factors, its hard to really pinpoint an every day feeling on this drug.
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Old 04-10-09, 04:14 AM
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Re: Am I chasing an initial transient effect of my body&mind adjusting to adderall?

Multiprose- I am on dexamphetamine - effectively the same as adderall. My dose is amax 50mg- but if I sleep in I dont have that much. I've been on meds for 6 months
The feeling of clarity you mention- what a wonderful feeling.

I find it a bit hit and miss as to when it happens- it is less common now than it was
at first- and most of the side effects are gone too.

As 'so much better ' says - the state you are talking about has a complex cause- many little things interfere with it.
As time goes on I become more aware of the subtleties of my mental state- and how I have a learned level of anxiety after years of trying to keep up appearances and not let anyone know how dysfunctional I was. The flipside of this is the understanding that I can work through these issues. I find myself slowly dropping my old defences-and each time I make a breakthrough my overall level of clarity increases.
I think the early stage of exposure to the stimulant merely unmasks a state of being that is possible for all of us all the time. When we first encounter it, that is a life changing experience- especially given the contrast from our usual way of being. I think it is acheivable for all of us- but that to"chase the dragon" and keep on upping the dose of stimulant is to miss the point that the state is there within us to be found by a careful search, and to head in the direction of addiction and dependance.
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Old 04-10-09, 06:53 AM
kara59 kara59 is offline
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Re: Am I chasing an initial transient effect of my body&mind adjusting to adderall?

Once you feel leveled, not high, not low, you have reached a therapeautic dosage.
Medication provides the leg work by clearing the fog out of my head, it is up to me to implement any change of behavior.
Best of luck, kara59
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Old 04-12-09, 08:47 PM
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Re: Am I chasing an initial transient effect of my body&mind adjusting to adderall?

"I think it is acheivable for all of us- but that to"chase the dragon" and keep on upping the dose of stimulant is to miss the point that the state is there within us to be found by a careful search, and to head in the direction of addiction and dependance."

I love that part, it's very poetic to me and a bit inspiring.
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