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  #31  
Old 10-05-18, 11:31 PM
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Re: The cool crowd

So does this mean that it is common for people who work with you talk to you nice but then talk crap about you behind your back?
Like, it happens to other people?
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  #32  
Old 10-05-18, 11:38 PM
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Re: The cool crowd

Even my boss who is MY aunt talks bs about me while I'm standing there, things like she would rather be more aggressive than be passive like me(after someone joked and said she's too aggressive) of course making everyone laugh with her at my passive nature. I have no other options for jobs this is kinda living hell and I didn't realize how savage she really is until today. Leaving she wouldn't even look up at me as I said "goodbye ____" completely ignored me and acting like a bully to me all day. I don't know how to deal with this.
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Old 10-06-18, 01:48 AM
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Re: The cool crowd

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  #34  
Old 10-06-18, 04:20 AM
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Re: The cool crowd

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Originally Posted by carrythestars View Post
So does this mean that it is common for people who work with you talk to you nice but then talk crap about you behind your back?
Like, it happens to other people?
Yes, it can happen. A lot of it depends just on the people who are there and their nature, and then if there is bad management or jealousy bc of uneven treatment it's even more likely.

at my first law firm job i shared an office with this very nice woman who had some social anxiety things and she had lots of sensory issues; we got on well though and she had a delightful sense of humor. she said she was really happy that i was there.

after a few months i was asked to replace a colleague who went on early maternity leave, so i moved downstairs and those girls said, well i'm sure you're going to have a lot more fun down here with us! so actually people were talking behind her back that whole time. i had been accepted into the cool crowd of which its existence i was unaware, and they felt bad for me and kind of thought i was a saint for putting up with her. the problem was that my colleague was also very moral and polite and had high standards and when she saw certain behaviors she would shut down and just stop even talking to someone. Once this new young lawyer came around and introduced herself to all of the assistants (that was extremely nice). she was drop dead gorgeous, perfect makeup and colleague says in like a gollum voice, just look at her, she looks like a barbie doll! and we didnt even know her, and i thought well if i was making that kind of money i would also have a designer bag and glam look.

it created huge problems for her and she even did this with some of the lawyers, including her boss' friend who worked for. and once she had a screaming meltdown bc someone purposely pushed her buttons. her voice carried and everyone heard and she was ostracised. and all of this happened under excellent management and a very positive work enviornment. it takes just a few people to create a toxic enviornment.

so anyway, yes it can happen.
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