How do you build self confidence?

[Daniel1970]

Ah, the pdf is too big (8 MB). Maybe I can post a link to where I found it.

D.

[Funky1]

This is a constant struggle for me. I know I'm a great guy, I know I'm attractive and intelligent and have so much to offer people... But my lack of confidence has been holding me back pretty much my entire life. No matter how much I tell myself that I'm better than my brain allows me to think, I still get stuck in the same ruts. Probably a good part of the reason why I'm still single at 40 years old, and I'm sure it contributed to my chaotic employment history through the years as well, though my confidence when it comes to work is definitely much better than confidence in my personal life. I've had a couple therapist give me some strategies to try and combat this, but nothing seems to give me the results I'm wishing for.

[Daniel1970]

Originally Posted by Funky1

This is a constant struggle for me. I know I'm a great guy, I know I'm attractive and intelligent and have so much to offer people... But my lack of confidence has been holding me back pretty much my entire life. No matter how much I tell myself that I'm better than my brain allows me to think, I still get stuck in the same ruts. Probably a good part of the reason why I'm still single at 40 years old, and I'm sure it contributed to my chaotic employment history through the years as well, though my confidence when it comes to work is definitely much better than confidence in my personal life. I've had a couple therapist give me some strategies to try and combat this, but nothing seems to give me the results I'm wishing for.

I think "some strategies to try" is like putting a band aid on a serious wound.

I would recommend finding a dating coach who is going to put in some serious work with you on building your core confidence, identifying and overcoming internal barriers and self-sabotage, overcoming fear, and finding your purpose, things that will make you truly attractive to a woman.

I think therapists are great for mental illness, but it sounds like what you're really talking about is dating and women, and there is a whole cottage industry that has sprung up lately of dating coaches who go beyond the old "pick up artist" crap and work with men on their "inner game", developing the inner strength, purpose, and unshakable self-confidence that truly draws interesting women to you.

Go on YouTube and google and see what's out there. From what I understand, it takes work, and it's not free, but seems to get good results.

Daniel

[sarahsweets]

Another thing I mean to mention- and those who know me may remember this- anyone who doesn't like me or what I stand for can go f**k themselves. Inside I know my motives and I know that I am not a horrible person (I have terrible moments but I am not a terrible person) and I had to learn this about myself. I have beeb a member of this forum for..omg 8 years now??!! And way back in the beginning I was not sober, I had never been on a forum and I was way less tolerant- almost controversial. Ask anyone who has been around for awhile. I started posts that were outrageous and was judgmental. I was not tolerant. I forgot that my fellow humans had feelings too and I was not so good with compassion. This was because I was under the influence a lot and not mentally well.

[Daniel1970]

Hello! Anyone who is interested in the Confidence Cheat Sheet I got online off of a really good YouTube series, please PM me with your email address and I'll email it to you. It is 8 MB so too big to post here.

Anyone who is not interested, no biggee. It's got some really good instructions on how to build core confidence. You just have to put them into practice with some consistency. They are mainly geared towards men, but there are definitely some things that can be implemented by women.

Kind regards,
Daniel

[Greyhound1]

Originally Posted by DanielGM1970

Hello! Anyone who is interested in the Confidence Cheat Sheet I got online off of a really good YouTube series, please PM me with your email address and I'll email it to you. It is 8 MB so too big to post here.

Anyone who is not interested, no biggee. It's got some really good instructions on how to build core confidence. You just have to put them into practice with some consistency. They are mainly geared towards men, but there are definitely some things that can be implemented by women.

Kind regards,
Daniel

Hi Daniel,
You are free to post a link here to the YouTube series. As long as the video isn’t trying to sell or market a product or service, it’s fine to post.

Our software here is a bit quirky with YouTube links. With a YouTube link it’s necessary to remove the “s” from “https” at the beginning of the link. Just make it “http” and it should work fine.

I hope that simplifies things a bit for sharing info about the Confidence Cheat Sheet.

Cheers,
Hound.

[Daniel1970]

AH! Found the cheat sheet:

It's at a site called "The Attractive Man" and the title of it is "18 Scientific Ways To Improve Your Confidence Around Beautiful Women". (It requires you to give them your e-mail address to download it.)

Please let me know if this helped anyone. There are a lot of resources on YouTube for things like building self-confidence, body language, social cues, etc. Motivational speeches (there's an amazing one by Matthew McConaughey!) and self-improvement videos up the wazoo. You just have to search for them, and be proactive. Taking action is the only way you are going to improve things, in my experience. Action trumps anxiety and doubt every time!

Good luck, all.

Daniel