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Old 06-26-18, 11:56 PM
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psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
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I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Dang I'm doing good right now in life.
Things are FAR from perfect...I'm still struggling with a lot...
But I'm really taking some serious strides in my life.

hah! I just typed up a big post...but decided to delete it!
I'mma try (key word here is try!!! lol) to keep it short.

So I'm taking tons of steps forward in my life right now. I mean...things are really looking up for me. They have been for a few months now, but things have kicked up a notch here over the last few weeks.

And it feels like...if only I can hold on...I really have a chance here. A chance at happiness. A chance at fulfilling and meaningful employment. Becoming the man in me that I really love.

But...
I'm here waiting for the drop. The fall. The complete and utter (haha I was about to spell that as 'udder'. Thank goodness for google! ) destruction of my progress.
It's what's happened so many times in my life.

I'm focusing on 1 day at a time. I'm also trying to give myself permission to have small crashes. It's okay if I need to step back for a day or 2 and just let myself fall. Just as long as I don't spend too much time in that. That I use my tools and support systems to help get me back up and moving.

But that fear. It's real. It's deep. I've fallen from these highs over and over before in life. And they can take me months to recover from.

Any ideas?
Any tips?
Maybe something will click and make sense with me.
I do believe I can change. I do have a flame flickering inside me yet...even through all the fails of my past.
How do I keep myself from sabotaging myself? From that fall?

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