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  #616  
Old 07-04-18, 11:38 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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I know how annoying everyone is finding me going on about her all the time, did i do enough to save Ebony? Could i have done more?
We don't know the answer to that.

If you had known about anything else to do, you would have done it.

You did the best you knew. You loved Ebony with all your heart.
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  #617  
Old 07-04-18, 11:41 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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I know how annoying everyone is finding me going on about her all the time, did i do enough to save Ebony? Could i have done more?
I don't think we're annoyed so much as we're heart broken with and for you and don't know how to help you from beating yourself with a bat so harshly.

And damn me and anyone else who tries to keep you from posting as much as you need to as you go through this grieving process.
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  #618  
Old 07-04-18, 07:19 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I hate my meds. I really do. I dread taking them every day though I don't even know if they are to blame.

I need to sleep. I'm.jist failing myself every minute of my life. Not every minute but every minute that I'm in control of.
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  #619  
Old 07-05-18, 09:15 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
Or perhaps she wouldn't have lived as long if you did this?

You're getting too caught up on the ifs, buts and maybes. You don't know what would have happened if you had done things any differently, so quit beating yourself up about it. You made the choices that you believed were right at the time. The power of hindsight eludes all of us.


Accept the choices you've made. Accept that they were the choices you believed were right at the time. Accept that you did what you needed to do under the circumstances at that time. Accept that you can't go back and change anything and accept that even if you could, you'd still not be able to foresee the outcome of your choices.
True for many parts of life.
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  #620  
Old 07-05-18, 03:55 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I'm back from my 3 day mental breakdown. I had been feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted since the end of last week. Hadn't been doing much for 3 weeks and was withdrawing from everything and everyone. I woke up hallucinating on Tuesday and said "Nop not going to work today". Thankfully I got the day off and the next day was the 4th and I got an appointment and got permission to work from home today. Trying to make it in tomorrow.

I seem to be betterish and saw my psych and upped my antipsychotic. I hope something sorts itself out. I just have to make it through tomorrow and I get 2 more days off. I'm just afraid I may not make it through that day.
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  #621  
Old 07-05-18, 09:53 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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  #622  
Old 07-05-18, 10:01 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I wish I had better control over my eating guys.

I'm on a week long fastfood binge and I'm feeling the weight, plus my lower legs and arms are all puffy from the increased salt.

And I did real bad on Tuesday. I have real issues with baked noodles for some reason. They give me a ton of gas...which sounds funny and silly perhaps, only it's not cause I get so full of it (haha okay so it is KINDA funny!) that I get all sorts of cramps and pains in my belly.
And yeah...I was miserable all Tuesday night.

Then...I just ate a bunch of crispy tacos. Too many.
And I'm just frustrated.
I know I can stop...but I'm not so sure. I've been so out of control for such a long time, that I really don't know if I can on my own.
And yet...I don't know what anyone else can do for me. So I feel stuck alone with this.

And I feel sick. I feel it in each breath I take, and in my neck, and in my legs bell and arms. It's gross and I don't like being so fat!


And then I'll be hungry tomorrow and start the whole process back up!
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  #623  
Old 07-06-18, 04:08 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I hate my meds. I really do. I dread taking them every day though I don't even know if they are to blame.

I need to sleep. I'm.jist failing myself every minute of my life. Not every minute but every minute that I'm in control of.
NO. You are not failing. You are brave and have courage. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway.
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  #624  
Old 07-06-18, 04:09 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I wish I had better control over my eating guys.

I'm on a week long fastfood binge and I'm feeling the weight, plus my lower legs and arms are all puffy from the increased salt.

And I did real bad on Tuesday. I have real issues with baked noodles for some reason. They give me a ton of gas...which sounds funny and silly perhaps, only it's not cause I get so full of it (haha okay so it is KINDA funny!) that I get all sorts of cramps and pains in my belly.
And yeah...I was miserable all Tuesday night.

Then...I just ate a bunch of crispy tacos. Too many.
And I'm just frustrated.
I know I can stop...but I'm not so sure. I've been so out of control for such a long time, that I really don't know if I can on my own.
And yet...I don't know what anyone else can do for me. So I feel stuck alone with this.

And I feel sick. I feel it in each breath I take, and in my neck, and in my legs bell and arms. It's gross and I don't like being so fat!


And then I'll be hungry tomorrow and start the whole process back up!
Have you considered any form of gastric bypass? It saved my life. I have kept the weight off for 9 years.
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  #625  
Old 07-06-18, 01:03 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Have you considered any form of gastric bypass? It saved my life. I have kept the weight off for 9 years.
Yeah, actually I have. My last therapist (the one I'd seen for like 10+ years) brought it up a couple of times...so did my old support group as there was several ladies in the group that had go through it and have kept their weight down...and most recently, my current medical doctor brought it up to me.

My insurance would most likely cover all of it for me, and it'd also more than likely take my diabetes away as well (as well as my sleep apnea!)

But I did a lot of research on it...and I just don't think it'd work for me.
I don't eat because I'm physically hungry. Nor do I stop eating when I feel physically full.
There's quite a few times I catch myself eating, even though I don't feel at all hungry. It's like I crave it though. Or I eat and feel stuffed...almost to the point where I'm starting to feel a bit sick...
But then I'll continue to eat . It's like there's a black hole there that I'm desperate to stuff full.

I just don't think I'd do well on it.
I like the idea of it...I just don't think I'd stick to it.
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  #626  
Old 07-06-18, 04:44 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I have a really bad cough today
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Old 07-06-18, 10:31 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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I have a really bad cough today


Maybe you should put her in time out then!

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  #628  
Old 07-07-18, 12:48 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Tired of having home open inspections every single weekend! I don't think I've ever done so much regular cleaning in my life!
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Old 07-07-18, 05:26 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Yeah, actually I have. My last therapist (the one I'd seen for like 10+ years) brought it up a couple of times...so did my old support group as there was several ladies in the group that had go through it and have kept their weight down...and most recently, my current medical doctor brought it up to me.

My insurance would most likely cover all of it for me, and it'd also more than likely take my diabetes away as well (as well as my sleep apnea!)

But I did a lot of research on it...and I just don't think it'd work for me.
I don't eat because I'm physically hungry. Nor do I stop eating when I feel physically full.
There's quite a few times I catch myself eating, even though I don't feel at all hungry. It's like I crave it though. Or I eat and feel stuffed...almost to the point where I'm starting to feel a bit sick...
But then I'll continue to eat . It's like there's a black hole there that I'm desperate to stuff full.

I just don't think I'd do well on it.
I like the idea of it...I just don't think I'd stick to it.
It all depends on what kind of surgery you have because I used to worry about what you are saying too. I had the roux-n-y surgery and that involves not only reducinng the size of your stomach but also involves some re-routing of your instestine to make the new stomach work better. So yes, technically you could still over do it but the way in which you digest and process food actually changes so that you are more intolerant of sugar and fats and they do not stay in your system the way they used to. I have to be very careful of sugar. Too much of it and I will be sick.
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Old 07-07-18, 08:25 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Maybe you should put her in time out then!

Iam confused, put who in time out?

was coughing my guts up last night
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