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Adderall (four amphetamine salts)

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  #1  
Old 06-19-13, 04:34 PM
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Love/Hate Relationship Begins

Hello All!


I've been on generic adderall IR 10mg 3x daily for just about 7 months now and the resentment of side effects are starting to grow bigger for me. The first few months were great, as I thought I've found a wonder drug. It either had very little adverse effects in the beginning, or the positive effects were subjectively overpowering anything negative. True, it pretty much was for me: because I've never been on anything that made me feel 'normal' this long. I often read about the complaints of it from others: bad side effects, anti social behavior, lethargy, habituation, headaches, dehydration, yada yada... But I never felt them or it was infrequent.

Time has passed and the subject magic of the drug has become a commonplace feature of my life and I'm really beginning to question my future with this drug. How have some of you who experienced second thoughts about continuing medication overcome the hurdles of weighing the Good/Bad with adderall?

Some of the worst side effects I have are:

Short-acting transient benefits: Focus and motivation really only last 1.5 to 2 hours at best now with a sharp drop off after 2.5 hours. If I don't redose quickly enough or dose at hour 2 with a supplemental 5mg, I find myself in a pit of lethargy, inability to concentrate and an emotional flatness that feels like nothing in the world can fix.

Unpredictable Results: At times the adderall is a wonder drug. All tasks become fun, and my future doesn't seem so distant, daunting and dependent on fate--which has been the case for me in the past. As well as it being the greatest thing to ever happen to me, the adderall has sometimes made me so tired I could practically sleep while standing! It also frequently makes everything boring (like it's an ADD potentiating drug) and I tend to get stuck in the mind space where nothing is fun. I would feel an intense sense of frustrated-anger where I would constantly curse under my breath at everyone or everything. I'm usually not a negative person, but when you're telling everything and everyone to "go $#&@ yourself" and everything is extremely irritating, it can be a bit of a concern! I would use very crude vulgarity as if to 'rid' myself or vent this strong infliction of frustration/anger/irritability. I thought maybe if I would vent, it would somehow get better. Not sure if it ever really worked, or if it just incited more animosity and swearing.

Anti-social behavior: The first hour or so, I'm usually more talkative and willing to help customers/answer questions at work. The proceeding hour, I immediately become very quiet. It's as if I'm trying to achieve that blissful state of working in complete silence, and if someone as much as utters a sound, I get upset--let alone a customer interrupt me from my work and require me to leave the shop area to help them. My coworkers will joke with each other all day and I rarely participate.

Because the adderall has a tendency to make me worry, constantly being quiet has lent itself to an almost paranoia-type of worry... I know that I'm being very quiet, but my mind is so flat and lacking in social motivation that I can't even force myself to talk jokingly. It all seems like a waste of time to me. The most you'd ever hear out of me is a short answer. When someone jokes with me, it's as if the "joke portion" of my brain has been disabled, because they don't even make sense or are not funny.

This paranoid-worry of being anti-social for so long has made me think that my coworkers are at times talking about me negatively. "Why's he like this?" "What's wrong with him?" etc. Of course, days that I've been off the adderall, and have felt quite social, these concerns and worries were seen as part of the adderall making my obsessive thoughts worse. Because I actually could joke with the guys off the stuff, made me see that these paranoid thoughts were mainly a byproduct of the adderall.

I must not forget to mention that I felt this same anti-social behavior in public places and even with people I have known for years (parents, girlfriend, friends). Strangely though, my social withdrawal went in and out of phases. One week I was confident, the next I could have been a complete hermit, working feverishly at my station--hating the world because of everything that's wrong with it.

Obsessive Thinking: It has generally made my phobias worse. I'm a long time hypochondriac and germophobe. My procedures during cooking raw meat or handling "suspect" foods became more meticulous in an effort to avoid food poisoning. I knew it was getting worse, and it would bother me very much, but I continued to do it.

Being a hypochondriac, I've pretty much believed I had every disorder in the book--usually centered on the mental disorders or the more common diseases such as cancer or heart disease.

I can't count the number of times I believed I had diabetes or even developed schizophrenia.

Now being on the adderall, I can get into a zone and research for several hours on my "disease of the week" haha. It wasn't done out of mere curiosity (even though I am a medical science dork who loves reading on it anyway) it was done to try and convince myself I don't have the disease. It seemed that no matter how much I learned, I still couldn't convince that obsession in me that I'm fine.


Just this morning, I spent a couple hours making sure that the ADD voices/thoughts in my head weren't being mistaken for schizophrenic auditory hallucinations...

I'm now taking more frequent breaks from adderall because the worry about my mental health is getting too noisy in my head. The bad part is, adderall still after all these symptoms ( I left out a lot more due to me not wanting to write a novella) it gives me great motivation to get things done.

What have you guys done? Any suggestions?
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Old 06-20-13, 04:51 AM
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Re: Love/Hate Relationship Begins

those side effects are not the norm, what does your doctor say?
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Old 06-21-13, 10:22 AM
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Re: Love/Hate Relationship Begins

The doctor is an 80-something dollar visit each time :/ so, I usually discuss these problems with him during my 3-month checkups. No offense to my doctor, but he isn't much of a talker. I always feel rushed on his time.
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Old 06-22-13, 05:55 AM
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Re: Love/Hate Relationship Begins

i hear you but its worth running this by him.
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