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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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Old 05-13-18, 08:54 PM
Chrissy1212 Chrissy1212 is offline
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I feel like my small group leader dislikes me

I feel like my small group leader dislikes me
I recently tried making plans to hang out and she picked a time to do it but then ended up having to cancel and said she would reschedule and when I saw her in person I asked if she wanted to reschedule and she said she would text me later this week about it. But she never did and when I saw her at church today and said hi she just waved and said good morning in reply to me saying hi instead of saying hi back. What does that mean when someone says good morning in reply to me saying hi? Also after service I walked towards her and she acted like she didnt see me and just left.
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Old 05-14-18, 05:22 AM
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Re: I feel like my small group leader dislikes me

When you say small group leader what do you mean? What kind of group? Is this for work?
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Old 05-14-18, 08:34 AM
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Re: I feel like my small group leader dislikes me

Not sure what a small group is but you can't make someone like you. Can you find another group?
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Old 05-14-18, 01:00 PM
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Re: I feel like my small group leader dislikes me

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
When you say small group leader what do you mean? What kind of group? Is this for work?
A church small group
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Old 05-15-18, 04:14 PM
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Good Chance You Are Right...How Can You Put This Behind You?

I don't know the unwritten rules and expectations of your group, but it's probably not part of a leader's job description to "hang out" with one single participant.

So it's regrettable this person first agreed and then poofed, because that would leave a bit of a sour taste in anyone's mouth. But it's such a small thing in the big picture. Tudorose is right...you can't make someone like you, and it probably wouldn't be much fun hanging out in that case, either.

Almost anything you can do to turn your attention elsewhere would probably be helpful. Either find someone else to hang out with, or distract yourself with something you enjoy doing, are good at, or is something new to catch your interest. Doing a kindness for someone worse off than you might help, too.
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Old 05-15-18, 04:56 PM
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Re: I feel like my small group leader dislikes me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrissy1212 View Post
A church small group
Is this an ADHD small church group like last year?
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Old 05-15-18, 06:01 PM
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Re: I feel like my small group leader dislikes me

Oh hey welcome back!!
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Old 05-16-18, 01:16 AM
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Re: I feel like my small group leader dislikes me

I know what a small group is as I was part of a few when I used to go to church.

Maybe she feels like she shouldn't be in individual friendships with people in her group since she is a leader. It depends on what the church wants them to be, as in more of a mentoring, leading by example type role or she has placed that mindset upon herself.

As someone above said, we can't make everyone like us. You could go with Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would want done to them. She obviously feels that her way of interacting with you is acceptable (or she wouldn't keep doing it) so she should be treated the same way.
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Old 05-16-18, 05:30 PM
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What can I do about a taxi service I use that always comes by like 20 minutes before they are scheduled to, and so everyone else is still at bible study and Im not ready to leave, but someone sees the car out the window and says "Caitlin your rides here!" And I say yes but they are 20 minutes early and they say well thats ok. And when I get in the car to talk to the driver she says we have to wait for you until the scheduled time even if we are here early. But you are still showing up early and my bible study friends are still going to say Caitlin your rides here and I will feel like I have to leave. The bible study meets at someone's house and so I don't want to wait there by myself too long because I feel like if everyone else is gone I'm keeping the person who's house it is from doing things they need to do or going to bed. So if I schedule my ride for 9 instead of 845 everyone might leave at 840 or something and my ride wouldnt get there until 9 or later and I dont want that either. But everyone else is still talking and hanging out and they arent leaving. This makes me feel like she just wants me to leave and that she doesnt want me there.

Last edited by namazu; 05-16-18 at 07:31 PM.. Reason: merged duplicative threads
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Old 05-16-18, 06:09 PM
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Re: Taxi getting there early, I feel unwanted

Tell your Bible study friends that your taxi is early, that you called it for 8.45 and that you are going to stay till 8.45. if they still push you to leave I'd ask them why and then tell them that their pushiness is making you feel unwelcome.

You've had so many issues with this Bible study group or just your church friends for the last few years
I think you either need to have a serious word with them or let them go.
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