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  #166  
Old 05-12-18, 11:16 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I don't fully know Part of me wishes I knew more of what you go through so I could relate with you more and so then you wouldn't have to feel so alone.

(((Pers)))
That's one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me. xx
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  #167  
Old 05-13-18, 09:08 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I'm lonely today ...........

nobody cares about me today
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  #168  
Old 05-13-18, 09:10 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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---SNIPPAGE---
They are still helping me...but things aren't as well as they were during the first week or 2 of taking them. I've slowed way back down now...I'm not getting as much accomplished again, haven't been working on my apartment, having a hard time getting up and going, sometimes have a hard time focusing on 1 thing at a time.

Hey Psych *waves*

Keep your fingers crossed, it may be temporary. I know for me the meds did well, but ALSO disturbed my sleep. After a short time the meds seemed less effective/sporadic while I was still fighting to get enough sleep. (Few days of very little sleep and then just crash early and sleep for 10-12 hours for a day or two.) Anywhoo as I started to sleep better/more-normal/?? the meds got more consistent. My "guess" was/is that the 2 are tied together. Unfortunately for me the whole cycle was/is about a month from start to consistently sleeping well. Best Wishes, -Tom
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  #169  
Old 05-13-18, 09:14 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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I waited too long to order my running shoes, and the model that I want is no longer available.

Now I actually have to go to the store and try on the new model to make sure they haven't changed the design in a way that makes them unusable for me. And they are around twice as expensive because the old model is gone.
Assuming you know "model" and sizing, you may be able to find on-line (e-bay, overseas....). I had a similar problem, but found a few pair and bought them. (TBH, actually the ex did.) GL, -LN
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  #170  
Old 05-13-18, 09:28 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
I'm lonely today ...........

nobody cares about me today
We care Mid-Mids! <3

I'm thinking about going to a small restaurant I really like here in town to go have some breakfast in honor of my mom (it's mother's day in the USA today).
Wanna tag along? I sure could use the company!!
Also, don't be afraid to bring along my lovely Tig-Tigs so that you can totally accidentally forget her and leave her with me!!

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Originally Posted by Little Nut View Post
Hey Psych *waves*

Keep your fingers crossed, it may be temporary. I know for me the meds did well, but ALSO disturbed my sleep. After a short time the meds seemed less effective/sporadic while I was still fighting to get enough sleep. (Few days of very little sleep and then just crash early and sleep for 10-12 hours for a day or two.) Anywhoo as I started to sleep better/more-normal/?? the meds got more consistent. My "guess" was/is that the 2 are tied together. Unfortunately for me the whole cycle was/is about a month from start to consistently sleeping well. Best Wishes, -Tom
Well that's nice to hear! Thanks Littles. I'm right there in the mix of that messed up sleeping cycle you described right now. Hopefully things will smooth over once I eventually get it back under control.
Thanks for the post!


(((Mids)))

(((Littles)))

(((((((((((((((((((((TIG-TIGS)))))))))))))))))))))
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  #171  
Old 05-13-18, 10:02 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

having too many flashbacks
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  #172  
Old 05-13-18, 10:56 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
We care Mid-Mids! <3

I'm thinking about going to a small restaurant I really like here in town to go have some breakfast in honor of my mom (it's mother's day in the USA today).
Wanna tag along? I sure could use the company!!
Also, don't be afraid to bring along my lovely Tig-Tigs so that you can totally accidentally forget her and leave her with me!!

Happy Mother's Day to my friend Midsy, the best furbaby mama that I know!
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  #173  
Old 05-13-18, 11:14 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

And Happy Mother's Day to you too Gramma Lun Luns!

As you know, it's been a rather long year for me. Thank you SO much for stepping up to the plate for me and giving me such a loving and strong shoulder to lean on and cry on throughout. I crave having someone like you in my life...someone with a warm motherly love about them who accept me without question...who i don't feel judge me for not being enough or doing more.

And thank you for putting up with my annoying teasing lol. I take it too far sometimes when I'm a bit too hyper or in some manic periods, for for those times I appologize.
But I love having someone like you to tease about age lol. I don't know why...it's all in good humor, I mean no meanness from it.
So thank you for being there for me to tease as well!

You've been very lovely to me on these forums of course...but those few times I've been able to vent to you through private messages has meant a lot to me as well. Especially when you were encouraging back and sided with me. There's been a few times over this past year that I've felt so alone...like there is no one else behind me to back me up when I need them. My mom was a fierce fighter for me...it's scary now walking through life without that.

Happy Mothers Day Lun-Luns!

I love you mucho!

((((((((((((((Gramma Luns))))))))))))))
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  #174  
Old 05-13-18, 12:18 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Fuzzling is ill. My parents are ill. My uncle will probably die before I get there but no one wants me to visit him anyway (and he's got dementia so he can't say). For the first time I hate that I live in the UK so far away from my parents. I should be there with them when they need me. Other relatives are doing the things I should be doing for them.

I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I wonder if that's a side effect of the meds too. I mean I haven't taken my meds today but do I now have to take meds just to stay awake because my body is used to them?

I'm slowly Embarrassed about the amount of leave I'm taking from work. We booked a holiday months ago and then I've asked for leave to go see my uncle and now I'll have to take a day or two off because fuzzling is too ill to go to nursery. My manager has been nice about it so far but I haven't told him about the leave I need this week yet.
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  #175  
Old 05-13-18, 01:48 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

My poor Itsy Bitsy Fluff-n-Stuffs! ((((((((((((((Baby Fuzzling))))))))))))))

I wish I knew of a way to make some of your guilt go away.

I really think you need this though. To see your family (and not just your uncle), to be away from work for a bit, to visit your country (were you born there?), to be away from hubby and Itsy-Bitsy (so hope that doesn't come across as mean somehow).
You need this. You've been through SO freaking much Wuzzy. Itsy-Bitsy's birth, and becoming a first time mother, dealing with your over bearing parents who stayed waaaay past their welcome, being off medications for so long...just to get put back on them and for them not to be helping as much as you need and deserve...to going head first into a very difficult job.
OMFG Fuzzy . Like seriously...when you take a step back and look at your life over the past several years...you've gotta admit...you're one hell of a tough chick! You're freaking amazing! Seriously!

I'm afraid your guilt for taking this time and trip are going to taint trip for you. And that sucks! I wish for nothing more than for this trip to be one for you to grow and to heal and to say your good byes and feel just devastated and hurt and sad...but then joyful and relieved and grateful. To let go of things, and hold on tight to others and to share all these ups and downs with your parents and other family and friends...
To come home feeling as if you've been rejuvenated, ready to go.

Okay so maybe I'm just a big dumb dumb and I'm lost in "lala land" where everything is perfect haha...and that the real world just doesn't work like that.
But still I wish you could be in that "lala land" lol .
Guilt free. You need this trip. Your family needs this trip. And...you DESERVE this trip dang it! You've been so strong, learned SO much, tripped hard many times...and damn it, time and time again you've picked yourself back up. You wanted to throw in the white towel.
But...you didn't.
You deserve a break Fuzzy.

I /hearts.jpeg you Wuzz-Wuzz. <3

(((((((Wuzzy)))))))


P.S.
Happy 1st Mother's Day Fuzzy-Wuzzy!!!
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  #176  
Old 05-13-18, 05:43 PM
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Question Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Aww thanks psycho. I'm amazed at the amount of things you remember. Haha I post so much and the same stuff over and over again that I sometimes think thart people must have stopped reading.

Yes, labour was surprisingly hard and no one really (including myself) tried to make it any easier for me but apart from that I always think that my life is so easy and that I should be grateful for being fairly privileged. It comes of be so easy and so good if it wasn't for me and my silly brain.

I've booked my tickets. I can only travel in a few weeks so I really hope that my uncle will make it till then. He isn't recognising my parents anymore so he definitely won't recognise me but I don't really mind so much. No actually thinking about it I mind a hell lot. Not that he won't recognise me when I meet him but that I couldn't ldnt be bothered to visit when he still was capable of recognising me. He would have been so happy to see me. The last time I saw him was four years ago. The dementia had already started but he was happy to see me. That trip was a total nightmare and I vowed then that I wouldn't go back unless someone close to.ke was dying. So that's now I guess
Funnily enough I'm not even that sad about my uncle dying. Uce hardly spoken to him in the last four years
I'm sad about not being able to see him anymore though and I think more than anything for all.the effort he's put into making good things happen for me ans dir never asking for anything in return and for always wishing me well I owe it to him to at least try to see him.

Hubby said that even if he does before I get there at least I'll know I've done everything I can to make it happen. Not that anyone cares. No one wants me to go. Except that I care I guess.

Sorry not sure I'm making sejse. Probably not. Anyway I'm glad that my tickets are booked (hubby found the flights and did the booking. All I did was make the decision. If it wasn't for hubby then I don't think I'd have managed to actually look for flight and book something.) So anyway Im hot actually that conflicted as I thought I would be. Hubby has been hugely supportive and has been encouraging me to go so that's made it easier as well.

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I won't feel guilty while travelling unless fuzzling has a melt down and then I can always just return. Well i hope. If I can get a flight back.
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  #177  
Old 05-13-18, 05:49 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I'm feeling good today. A little too good.... I'm suspicious. I hope the Risperdal doesn't make my manic.
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Old 05-14-18, 04:47 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Oh. My. Goodness. I've been waking up in pretty severe pain since I started the risperdal. I don't know if there is a correlation or not here. Today I woke up with at least level 7 foot pain. And I have a very high pain tolerance. It's slowly settled down and I can hobble on it anyway.

I would go to the ER instead of work, but how the hell could I do real damage to my foot sleeping?

I'm still sitting at a cool level 4 here.

If the pain isn't gone or almost gone by the time I get off work I guess I should do something. But urgent care wouldn't be able to x-ray and would ship me off anyway. And the ER is expensive.

Okay, time to hobble off to work now.
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Old 05-14-18, 10:25 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
Oh. My. Goodness. I've been waking up in pretty severe pain since I started the risperdal. I don't know if there is a correlation or not here. Today I woke up with at least level 7 foot pain. And I have a very high pain tolerance. It's slowly settled down and I can hobble on it anyway.

I would go to the ER instead of work, but how the hell could I do real damage to my foot sleeping?

I'm still sitting at a cool level 4 here.

If the pain isn't gone or almost gone by the time I get off work I guess I should do something. But urgent care wouldn't be able to x-ray and would ship me off anyway. And the ER is expensive.

Okay, time to hobble off to work now.
drugs dot com lists body aches and pains as an uncommon symptom
and not one to seek immediate treatment for.

How long have you been taking Risperdal?

Do you feel you could give it another couple of days to see if this symptom subsides?

If not, don't go to the ER, but call the prescribing doctor.

Sometimes another med can be added to minimize such side effects if the med
is working well otherwise.

If Risperidal isn't actually doing much for you, the doctor might suggest trying
another med.
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Old 05-14-18, 04:19 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

So I'm playing a casual game of magic the gathering online (a nerdy card game), and I'm drawing all the right cards and getting all the luck, so I'm crushing my opponent when he sends me a message:

"You're a terrible person."

I chuckled...but at the same time I felt bad for him. My deck really isn't meant for casual/fun games. It's more geared towards tournament and high quality, well built decks...so in a lot of ways when I'm playing against people who are running fun/non-tourney level decks...it just crushes them.

But then he says this:

"No wonder your mother doesn't love you."

And it's like...you know? He's probably just an 11 or 12 year old kid and really doesn't know the pain words can cause. And obviously he knows nothing about me and my situation in life.
But the sting was there.

Wednesday will be 1 year since my mom's passed /cry.

I finished the game completely destroying him. I had answers for every single play he made. I even made what looked like a mistake...on purpose...and he even jumped into it head first, letting me trap him and he probably felt like an idiot for falling for it.
I no longer felt bad.

That game was for you mom .
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