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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #31  
Old 10-24-13, 10:07 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I know how to cook pasta n pancakes
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Old 10-24-13, 03:47 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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I know how to cook pasta n pancakes
Teach me, Master!
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Old 10-25-13, 12:38 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

By the way, it's only been studied a little, but it seems women often feel inclined to clean when they're ovulating! Some kind of nesting instinct, maybe? If cleaning is emotionally painful, I recommend trying to get as much of it done while ovulating, and hopefully it won't be quite as bad.

If you don't know when you ovulate, aim for 14 days after the FIRST day of your period. Another indicator is that you often have egg-white like goop coming out of your hooha. Ovulation itself only lasts about 12-24 hours per cycle, but a lot of its symptoms start a few days in advance (because that's the whole window you have for pregnancy), so hopefully the cleaning does too?

Alas, I'm taking medicine which causes me to not ovulate.
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Old 10-25-13, 03:37 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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Originally Posted by Cyllya View Post
By the way, it's only been studied a little, but it seems women often feel inclined to clean when they're ovulating! Some kind of nesting instinct, maybe? If cleaning is emotionally painful, I recommend trying to get as much of it done while ovulating, and hopefully it won't be quite as bad.

If you don't know when you ovulate, aim for 14 days after the FIRST day of your period. Another indicator is that you often have egg-white like goop coming out of your hooha. Ovulation itself only lasts about 12-24 hours per cycle, but a lot of its symptoms start a few days in advance (because that's the whole window you have for pregnancy), so hopefully the cleaning does too?

Alas, I'm taking medicine which causes me to not ovulate.
I thought ovulation only causes hornyness and attraction to hunky males (testosterone). I'm happy to hear it does something productive as well, at least to other women.
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  #35  
Old 11-08-13, 07:21 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I'm married, although as much as my spouse 'helps', I might as well be single. The mess drives him crazy when he isn't taking his own medication (he has anxiety/depression). His current medication makes him not want to get up off the couch, but he's mellow about the mess?
I just try to do what I can on weekends. I don't beat myself up about it. Clothes all over? Sure- as long as there are clean clothes to wear, I'm fine with it. Piles of Mail on every surface? Of course! If it's not emailed to me at this point, it's usually junk anyway & I do automatic billing for everything but one bill. And that bill is ALWAYS late. I try to keep my keys/phone/purse in one spot, hang up my coat and shoes by the door. I scramble every morning. Paper plates are gifts from heaven, and I'm a huge fan of peanut butter pop tarts, fresh fruit or microwave oatmeal for breakfast. The kids can make all of that themselves (except the baby). I try to do crock pot or one pot meals for dinner. Literally, throw the food in and heat. Throw bread (if we're having any) in the oven. Eat. This is also surprisingly cheap and there is always leftovers for lunch for myself the next day. For drinks, I buy the pre-packaged milk or juice bottles and we recycle. Kids get one per day and after that drink water. Dishes get done about once a week unless we run out of silverware. I wash them over two days in the dishwasher and it generally takes me all weekend to get the clean dishes moved from the counter tops to the cabinets. It just is what it is. If the spouse gets grouchy, we too have the 'I'm not the maid and it's not like I've been spotless the past 12 years, my dear.'
Hugs! xoxoxo
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  #36  
Old 11-08-13, 08:11 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

You know what I do? I think to myself well I could pop some popcorn and relax and watch a movie or if I get this done ill do my hair, I pair cleaning with doing something I really enjoy usually works !
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  #37  
Old 11-10-13, 02:33 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Don't worry! Been there and done that. what I actually did to better my self was, I keep things wherever, don't use ,any things they are only few things which I use daily are thrown around here and there like if I change my pant, my pant lies there on the floor. I try to use as less vessels I can to to cook anything, this way I have less to clean when I get home. I clean vessels once in a week. I don't fold my clothes they are either hanged cos its easy or in the bucket where I keep washed/dried clothes, i don't fold them cos i cannot. hope i helped. I am not clean but I am not dirty as well like rotten food or eggs like I used to.
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  #38  
Old 11-11-13, 09:53 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Hey there-

I know it's super hard to keep a tidy place! I'm single, ADD-diagnosed, late 20s, Female, working full time in the electrical trades as an apprentice. That means I'm tired at the end of my day (physically!) and relatively unfocused because all the caffeine has worn off (I'm not on medication yet, so I have to go the coffee route to get focus).

Things that have helped me- I have written myself huge notes that direct me to DO THE DISHES!! or TIDY UP! or any of the household tasks that have to get done. It is hard as h*** sometimes to focus the energy to do it, but I force myself, literally, to clean up as I find that the reward is worth kicking my own butt to do. I find increased self confidence and less anxiety when I have a certain level of tidiness. What that means to me (tidiness) means different things to other people.

What I really wish is that there was an Adult ADD group that would meet and share thoughts- like a physical group of people that could come together. Maybe like how AA has groups everywhere under an umbrella organization? I think that would be helpful for finding motivation and an understanding buddy to help with things like this.
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  #39  
Old 11-14-13, 04:25 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I'm a single mom, my kids are 7 & 5 and my house is always a mess. I don't even know how it happens. It'll be clean and uncluttered one second and in the next every horizontal surface is literally COVERED. I don't work right now, I'm a student, but when I did work full time the house was much cleaner because no one was home messing it up.

There are certain things that I've somehow managed to make somewhat routine over the years, like vacuuming, dishes and laundry. But my room is always a disaster and half my dining room table usually looks like I should be on an episode of Hoarders. I've been trying to add one thing at a time, like making sure the kitchen is always clean after meals, to make it a habit. I do well if I make things VERY routine. Next on my list is keeping the dining room table clear. I have a problem with paper, and mail. I never know what to do with it so it ends up on the table. I keep things that I think Ill look at later but it really just ends up at the bottom of a pile, so I might as well just throw it away in the beginning.
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Old 11-15-13, 09:25 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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My mother used to always say, "If you could just pick up 20 things!" I apply this approach to my life everyday. This does help me because I think, "If I can do 100 things each day then I am keeping up a little with the mess I make." I count unloading the dishwasher as 10 and same with folding clothes.
I do this exact thing! I have my phone send me daily messages: spend 15 minutes in the kitchen. The next day: Spend 5 minutes decluttering the living room coffee table. Then: Fold half a laundry basket. Spend 10 minutes cleaning the bathroom. (and so on) And sometimes that is all I can accomplish -- and sometimes I get carried away and get distracted by the bookcase inch-of-dust.

You'd be amazed at how much you can actually get done. When I am talking on the cell and can move around, I clean things like faucet handles.

Before the computer and cell phones, I made 3 x 5 index cards with every single chore in it. Color coded by how long they took. Filed in a 31 day system, and several Once A year, Once A Month, Once every 6 months (things like Put away the Christmas tree) Are you children old enough to pick up their own toys? Make them special cards that they pick from each day, like this: Pick up every yellow thing on your floor and put it away. Or: replace the bathroom towels with clean ones. Easy stuff. If you make it really quick, simple, they will do it.

Later, make spaces for your things and make a point to put your things there everytime. Start small. If you are like me, you never dedicated a space for all your important papers. Perhaps they are in several piles or places around the house. Do you know where your passport is? (that was always a biggie for me) Or the children's birth certificates? So get a small filing cabinet and some plain manila folders and start filing. Make one for Bills to Pay. One for Veterinarian Visits. One for bank statements. Etc... Then you always know where to put papers/mail when it comes in.

Most of all though, don't scold yourself and/or feel bad. It's hard enuf dealing w/ ADD and being a mommy. The man that is meant for you will see past the clutter. You come as you are.
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  #41  
Old 05-25-16, 05:48 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

CAN SO RELATE!

The only time I get cleaning done is first thing in the morning. Else my brain gets too fatigued!

I guess the plus side is you feel you have achieved something straight away?
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Old 06-05-16, 10:20 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

First of all, Please read the book "Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace your differences and Transform your life". It will help ease the shame you have around being untidy. The book is really about social conditions and the extra strain it puts on women with ADHD.
Secondly, I have found 'The Fly lady' system to be about the only system out there that's good for ADHD. Some people hate it, but for me, it's transformed my house. I do have to make sure I am on meds though otherwise I slack off and next thing you know it's gone to ****. but it works and is gradual.
Best of luck,
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Old 09-16-17, 05:37 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

It may sound ridiculous, but it helps me to sing my favorite songs while I'm doing any kind of household chore. Housework chores are so boring I tend to procrastinate on them, but if I do procrastinate I regret it. I live in a sort of remote part of the world, where if I don't keep some semblance of order and cleanliness, I get ants and cockroaches and termites and all sorts of other undesirable critters in the house. So anyway, if I do a chore, I sing my favorite songs non-stop until I am done. At least that way I feel I am doing something kind of interesting. Otherwise I will be likely to leave the dishes and laundry half-done and get distracted with some more interesting task!
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Old 09-18-17, 06:04 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Cleaning gave me so much anxiety that I've chosen to pay for someone else to do it.
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Old 09-19-17, 06:19 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I am a housewife/SAHM mom (never really found a title that doesnt make me seem lazy or have no goals) and mine is always disorganized. Some areas pass as ok ( by my standards) some areas get gross before I get to them. Ive made a habit of doing the dishes everyday and thats been a blessing because Ive struggled with that my whole life. I dont have a job so I dont know if I belong in this thread but thats my experience.
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