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Old 01-09-19, 12:26 PM
flippydippy flippydippy is offline

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Advice for talking to doctor?

I'm new here and very happy I found this forum. I am 43 and kind of self diagnosed myself around 6 months ago. I talked to my PCP and a therapist about depression, and as I read different things I realized I think I have ADD. I had never even considered it because I thought people with ADHD/ADD were kind of all over the place and I am very calm and laid back.

It has opened up a new hope for me. I hate to admit this, but a friend gave me some Ritalin and I took some 10 mg pills for a few weeks and it literally changed my life. I felt like I could sit and do things like a normal person. Typically I can literally sit in front of my computer for an entire 8 hour work day and space out or end up surfing the net. After many weeks of this in a row, it leads to feelings of uselessness and self hate. I could only barely feel the Ritalin, but I could sit at my computer and accomplish what I was doing that day for work. I wanted to cry because I have struggled with this my entire professional career (there are also similar problems at home). I have even had issues with my work performance that were noticed by my manager of not getting things done on time or spacing out altogether.

I didn't feel comfortable telling my doctor about the Ritalin because I didn't want to get in some kind of trouble or have him judge me or think I was just looking for meds, but I talked to him about my suspicion of having ADD. He was VERY hesitant to prescribe anything, but he did prescribe Wellbutrin, mostly for depression.

Also after reading a lot of things, I don't love the idea of going on stimulants, but it may be worth it to feel "normal". But how can I explain this to my PCP? I tried describing all of my symptoms and sharing the results of the Dr. Hallowell survey and he kind of just dismissed it and moved on.
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