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  #16  
Old 10-11-11, 07:41 PM
Spirals Spirals is offline
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

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Originally Posted by kathrynsmathryn View Post
Hmm. Well the job wasn't very interesting to me, yes, but the mistakes I made were careless. They were small details, forgetting receipts, forgetting the boss's document preferences, etc. I tried really hard to focus on getting everything done so that I could get the necessary praise or at least avoid mistakes and go on unscathed. I say the same things to myself about important things, and paying attention. And this is why I am currently looking for a job i'm actually INTERESTED in
Ah, the devil is in the details. When I think a task is so easy that I don't have to think about it, that's when I'm likely to make small errors. I have cognitive narcolepsy with things like that...my brain says "Hey, you don't need my help to do that..wake me up when you find something interesting."

Anyway, I got another job! Start next month. Only thing is, the offer is conditional on satisfactory references, and I'm worried about what my agency will say to the company I'm going to. I've worked there before and done well, and have friends there...but I will be scuppered if my poor performance in my old job winds up costing me this one.
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  #17  
Old 10-11-11, 10:56 PM
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

Oh! Congratulations though! Keep doing your best, and don't let it get to you.
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  #18  
Old 10-11-11, 11:12 PM
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

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Originally Posted by Spirals View Post
Meds helped me immensely at uni, and for some perverse reason I find this job more difficult than uni! So I am hoping that upping my Concerta a notch or two will make it easier for me to juggle everything, as I was on the lowest dose before.
Concerta....Concerta....Concerta. Anyways I was on that for a while, briefly switched to it after taking Adderall. I'm not going back. EVER! If you have not tried Adderall I Highly recommend talking to your doctor to try it. Most predominantly inattentive people do better with straight Amphetamines.

Good luck.
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  #19  
Old 10-16-11, 08:12 PM
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

I had the same problem as you. I got out of college into an accounting job and failed miserably. The day I was fired/forced to resign was the worst day of my life. Not only was I losing my first real job, but I was being told I was basically incompetent. I was left totally alone in a new city clueless about what to do with my life after devoting 4 years in college to a field of work. I am the type of person who has a fear of letting people down and not succeeding, so that made it that much harder.

The biggest issues true inattentives have is what you mentioned, we can't even do simple tasks right and make easy mistakes. This makes it hard to be good at a lot of things and really affects peoples opinions about us. I changed to a skilled trade and still had a lot of problems but meds did help. Unfortunately they aren't consistent enough.
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  #20  
Old 10-17-11, 07:36 AM
Spirals Spirals is offline
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

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I had the same problem as you. I got out of college into an accounting job and failed miserably. The day I was fired/forced to resign was the worst day of my life. Not only was I losing my first real job, but I was being told I was basically incompetent. I was left totally alone in a new city clueless about what to do with my life after devoting 4 years in college to a field of work. I am the type of person who has a fear of letting people down and not succeeding, so that made it that much harder.

The biggest issues true inattentives have is what you mentioned, we can't even do simple tasks right and make easy mistakes. This makes it hard to be good at a lot of things and really affects peoples opinions about us. I changed to a skilled trade and still had a lot of problems but meds did help. Unfortunately they aren't consistent enough.
Sorry to hear about your experience...however, I actually think that simplicity is actually the problem for individuals who have the intellectual capacity to deal with more complex systems. The problem in my mind is that neurotypical individuals have a 'baseline' level of stimulation which means that even simple and menial tasks are salient enough to pay consistent attention to. I can't 'override' my basic settings with small tasks I find uninteresting, even if it could end up costing me my job. That's the horrible thing - medication will raise up the 'baseline' somewhat, but then you'll still never be as efficient as those tasks as a neurotypical person with the right drive and motivation. That is essentially what I've taken away from my experience.

I think the right environment is quite personal for ADHD-PI. It needs to stimulate the person. Jobs with basic and repetitive tasks are like pulling teeth for me. Like you, I tried so very hard...but that we've both failed in our first job after uni does not mean that we aren't able to succeed very well at a job that is engaging and taps into our stronger characteristics. Most jobs I've done well in in the past, but there are some which are incredibly ADHD unfriendly. A job which requires attention to detail and which you do not find intrinsically rewarding or interesting is an uphill battle against the way you're wired.

You'll find something better suited to you, I'm sure. I find what Christopher Hitchens said about being fired very inspiring, hope you like:

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  #21  
Old 10-17-11, 12:10 PM
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

Sorry that you are having to go through all this, Spirals. It sounds like the person at your job was being unduly critical under the guise of "kindness." The longer you kept that job, the lower your self confidence was going to get. I think you did yourself a favor by resigning. I, too, have been told that I am not "socially aware" and was not trying hard enough. This was very hurtful because, like you, I was giving it my best shot.

I now have a part time job which requires a lot of attention to detail, and I am responsible for counting up the cash drawer and balancing accounts at the end of the day. I explained to my manager that I have ADD, but she really doesn't get it. But at least she has been pretty forgiving of my mistakes so far - and I have made some whoppers! Having a supervisor who is at least tolerant makes a big difference. Hopefully, you will have a supervisor more like mine on your next job.

I don't know about the employment laws in the UK. Do you have anything like our Americans with Disabilities Act? Under that law your employer has to make a reasonable accommodation for you if you have a disability. However, I can understand your unwillingness to let a new employer know about your condition. The owner where I work micro-manages me when he is there and looks at me like I have three eyes or something. Thank heavens he doesn't come in often, and I mostly work with the manager.

I hope you are able to find another job that is a better fit for you. You are NOT incompetent. Your manager was incompetent in the way she treated you.
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  #22  
Old 10-17-11, 12:15 PM
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

Spirals- Best of luck in your job search. I think finding a well matched job and a manager you click with is critical.

On a related topic-I used to manage a man who I think had slight Aspergars. He was a terrific employee and great at his job, but required a certain kind of management from me. I found when I gave him a whole project he would be unable to break it down and complete it. When I broke it down into pieces for him, gave him a distinct piece to do and report back to me, it was perfectly done. Every i was dotted. I also found his integrity was impeccable and he was a very likable person.

I hope you find a manager that understands and caters to your strengths.
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  #23  
Old 10-17-11, 02:02 PM
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Re: Crises of confidence at work - miserable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spirals View Post
Sorry to hear about your experience...however, I actually think that simplicity is actually the problem for individuals who have the intellectual capacity to deal with more complex systems. The problem in my mind is that neurotypical individuals have a 'baseline' level of stimulation which means that even simple and menial tasks are salient enough to pay consistent attention to. I can't 'override' my basic settings with small tasks I find uninteresting, even if it could end up costing me my job. That's the horrible thing - medication will raise up the 'baseline' somewhat, but then you'll still never be as efficient as those tasks as a neurotypical person with the right drive and motivation. That is essentially what I've taken away from my experience.

I think the right environment is quite personal for ADHD-PI. It needs to stimulate the person. Jobs with basic and repetitive tasks are like pulling teeth for me. Like you, I tried so very hard...but that we've both failed in our first job after uni does not mean that we aren't able to succeed very well at a job that is engaging and taps into our stronger characteristics. Most jobs I've done well in in the past, but there are some which are incredibly ADHD unfriendly. A job which requires attention to detail and which you do not find intrinsically rewarding or interesting is an uphill battle against the way you're wired.

You'll find something better suited to you, I'm sure. I find what Christopher Hitchens said about being fired very inspiring, hope you like:


You gave a good analysis. My younger brother also has add and got into a field called safety management and has succeeded. So right now i'm taking a risk and working on my masters in that. I'm worried I could face the same problems and before, but I'm hoping that this job will be better suited for a add-pi person like me and that my medication will help. If this doesn't work out for me I will be devastated.
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