I'm "not putting any effort" into seeing my friends, apparently

[Lloyd_]

Originally Posted by MindBlind

This isn't just an ADHD thing as I literally can't afford to go out with friends, as much as I'd like to. Plus I have a dog and a bunch of **** to do. And it's not that I don't appreciate their desire to see me more often, but they act like my inability to go to some expensive bar with them is because I don't want to go. They think I'm being rude for blowing them off. Like, I dunno, maybe meet up somewhere I can afford? Or visit me? Or I can visit you?

But to a degree, they're onto something. Sometimes I don't want to go out because it's too ******* stressful and I'd rather be home getting stuff done. Sometimes my moods get really low to the point where flooding my senses with too much stimulation will send me into a full blown panic attack. And sometimes I only have so much cognitive stamina to do so much in a day.

It bothers me because these are friends that know what it's like to have mental health issues and other cognitive stuff but they just think I'm trying to avoid them instead of thinking that I might be too tired and overwhelmed to socialise.

I really want to make time for my friends, I really do. But I wonder if I should even bother if they're just going to vilify me for having the audacity to be poor, have other obligations or need to put my wellbeing first.

They just want you to be a co dependent as your lads get p i s s e d at the local pub!